Mr. Kessler: This is what you do at night, isn't it?
Sam: Yes.
Mr. Kessler: I thought you were just having sex.
--3.7 Family Matters
One half of a telephone conversation, the day after Thanksgiving.
"Hello. Mr. Saiyer?"
"This is Steve Killian. Drew's father."
"Yes, I know he's not in any of your classes this semester. I understand that you're involved with the kids', um, after school activities?"
"Did they tell you about the Clarks' Thanksgiving dinner, yet?"
"Yes, lovely food. Jezebel's father was a little odd, but it was quite a nice meal, really. Although the bit where the house got stormed by demons was a trifle off-putting."
"Yes. Snake-man sort of things. Four eyes, green skin, big swords, not real fond of Mr. Karellan."
"No, no, everyone's fine. The kids handled it very well. Some broken glass, mostly where they came through the windows, but no permanent damage. Though God knows how Marilyn's going to explain it to the insurance adjuster."
"Um, I'm not sure exactly. Drew told us the name for them, but I've forgotten what it was. Something hissy-sounding. Appropriate for snake-men. At any rate, as I said, the kids acquitted themselves quite well..."
"Yes, I realize they've done that sort of thing before. I mean, obviously Jillian and I aren't the most observant parents in the world, but when your son is waving a crossbow around shouting at his friends to 'get the civilians under cover', that does tend to get one's attention."
"Yes, we are very proud that Drew's giving something back to the community. And we do understand the need for, how did he put it, 'maintaining their secret identity.' So, I understand why he didn't want to tell us what he was doing with his evenings. But there apparently were more than a few occasions where he was pretending that he was spending the night at Erik's while Erik was pretending to spend the night with us..."
"No, I do understand that they weren't just out partying. But we're still not very happy about the way the kids played us and the Sorensens off against each other like that."
"So, yes, that's the thing. Why I'm calling, really. We've told Drew -- and Pandora, since she was aiding and abetting this -- that, from now until the end of the semester, we expect them to be home for dinner."
"No, we do understand that most demons only come out at night. And we're certainly not trying to give aid and comfort to the forces of Evil. They can go out again after. And do their weapons practice or whatever it is in the afternoons. But we expect them home for dinner."
"Now, as I said, we're not trying to interfere with their, um, work. And we certainly don't want to put anybody in danger just because we're angry with Drew. So, we told him that, if there's something really important going on and he absolutely can't get away, he can stay out. And the same goes for Pandora, as well. If they're, I don't know, tailing some demon or searching for hostages or something. I suppose those examples sound foolish. I'm afraid we're not really clear on the exact details of everything that the kids are doing. That's why we need your help. As I said, we've told Drew and Pandora that they can stay out if they absolutely need to. But we've told them that doing so requires a note from one of the adults involved."
"I hope that's all right with you, it's just that we're not really in a position to judge what's a life-or-death emergency and what's just them taking advantage of us again. We're happy to accept the judgment of people who understand what's going on better than we do. We just want you to know that we are trying to punish them -- Drew particularly -- and we ask that you don't write such notes frivolously."
"That's great, thank you. Jillian and I really appreciate that."
"Of course. We'll certainly do that. And thank you again for keeping an eye out for the kids."