Season 5

Opening Credits

5.1 The Freshman Fifteen
Written and directed by Greg Pearson.
The events of this episode take place on Monday and Tuesday, August 29th and 30th, 1994.
Intro: Sunday night, alone in her bed in her father's house, Samantha Kessler dreams of a line of Slayers standing against the dark, stretching back thousands of years in the past, and possibly just as far into the future. She seems to be in the center of an infinite line, but that is an illusion. As she focuses farther away on both sides, Sam realizes that there is both a beginning, and an end. The final woman, the very last Slayer of all, seems ghostly in form, nearly transparent, and then, as Sam watches, she fades out of existence. The Slayer next to her, her predecessor, also begins to fade. Sam is jerked back to her own body by a touch on her shoulder. A young woman with fair skin and brown hair says, "Help us." And Sam wakes up.

Just across town in his own bed, Erik Sorensen also dreams: of a many-towered castle set in lush hills and green valleys right out of a fairy tale. He stands at the top of the stairs to the topmost tower looking into a red and gold bedchamber, softly lit with candles. But instead of a Princess, on the canopied bed he finds a sleeping vampire. Gwen! Although she is beautiful with her red-gold hair spread out on satin pillows, she's not breathing and Erik is repulsed. He has a real girlfriend in this world! This must be a dream. Erik tries to control the image, whispering. "Don't be Gwen. Be Juanita instead." The dream breaks apart, and he wakes up. Credits.

Monday morning, Marcy arrives at St. Hubert's in her father's Sheriff SUV promptly at 7 AM, thinking that she'd get there early to pick the best side of the room. But Juanita got there at five. Erik's room gets its first spray of fantasy wall-art. Even with Juanita's donation of a laundry hamper and free organizing skills, Erik practically has a bathroom to himself, since no one is willing to share with him. Tony decorates his room with posters of the women of American Gladiators. Joshua puts his campus-standard furniture in storage, exchanging them for a hammock, a pile of large pillows, and a set of shelves installed up near the ceiling, with hand-holds along the wall nearby. He also installs heavy-duty burglar bars on his window, and a state-of-the-art deadbolt on his door. Tori arrives with her first carload of stuff about noon, with Days of Thunder added to her Risky Business and Top Gun posters. In minutes she has everything put away and military-neat. Sam installs her chin-up bar and climbing rungs like Joshua's, once she finds the studs in the ceiling of her room. Drew wanders in just as the stud-finder beeps. His room isn't as messy as Erik's, but it is cluttered with books, computer, floppy disks, and assorted weaponry jammed in the closet. Next door, Mari Jergen brings in several cloth-covered cages and locks her door behind her. She got special permission from the Bio Department to keep her experiments in her room, since they are better behaved when she's around. The last to arrive from the airport are the overseas contingent, Magnus and Xiu Mei.

At the first house meeting, Xiu Mei establishes the rule that there will be no TV in the upstairs common room after midnight on weeknights, or 2 AM on weekends, since there is no way to completely block the stairwell that connects her tower room to the common room. House dues are decided on, and elections held. Joshua narrowly edges Jezebel for House President, and graciously asks her to be his alternate, for times he can't make College Council meetings. She accepts, reluctantly. "Co-president" doesn't sound as good as "President" on her school resume, but it's a start. Magnus volunteers to be house Buildings and Grounds Rep. since that's a paid job and he needs the money. The first party of the year is planned for Tuesday night, themed "Heaven and Hellmouth." Erik and Juanita enthusiastically plan decorations for Hell (with beer and rave music) on the main floor and Heaven upstairs (with Tony bartending in a white tux and Bobby Mcferrin on the stereo). After dinner, Tony approaches Sam with a sealed envelope from Security Director Wilson. The letter explains how the Director can't officially endorse Slayer Club's activities this year. Because they were arrested last spring, they can't serve on Campus Security, even though the charges were dropped. But the Director does hope (unofficially, of course) that they'll still be protecting the campus with their "unique set of abilities," and perhaps Sam could shed some light on a mystery. Over the past three years, fifteen students have gone missing, never to be seen again. They came from all over the country, three from Massachusetts, although none were Solomon locals. They were all freshmen, but there are no obvious patterns to their family backgrounds, class selections, dorm, or club affiliations. They just disappeared during the first week, before classes began. The file includes pictures of the nine boys and six girls. After reading everything, Sam tells Erik, Drew, Joshua, and Tori about it. If these students were vamped, then Blaire might know something. Slayer Club hasn't visited the demon bar since Nazis burned it down and Blaire re-built. It's time to pay her a visit.

Monday night is Karaoke night!!! The acid-green sign on the door drips what looks like blood and the demon bar is hopping. Sam pushes a way in, and for once, no one even glances at her as she clears a path toward the bar. They're all riveted on the stage, where a vampire in game-face with long, matted gray hair and a tie-dyed T-shirt is singing a Beatles tune. Blaire is mixing a tall tumbler of livid orange fluid for a creature with three noses. As Slayer club reaches the bar, the vampire's filk-lyrics come through. "Imagine there's no Slayer, it's easy if you try... no midnight stakings or crucifixes through the eye... Imagine all those demons, killing without fear... oo-ooh! You might say-ay I'm a dreamer... but I'm not the only one..." Blaire spots Sam and groans. She's too busy for the usual banter tonight. Sam slips her a twenty, which vanishes quicker than the tumbler of flambéed orange stuff down the demon's sixth nostril, and shows Blaire three pictures of the missing students. Blaire recognizes two that hang out with Aimee near Martense. All summer, they drink here, but once classes start, there's no sign of those ingrates. Sam thanks her and edges back around the crowd, who are crooning along with the hippie vampire, "Imagine there's no sunshine..." Not for the first time, Sam regrets the promise of amnesty she gave Blaire. Her information is usually reliable, but when she gives air space to singing like that. Shudder.

Back at St. Hubert's, Sam presents the evidence to their housemates, asking if anyone wants to help hunt down the former students, now vampires. Tony, Magnus, Callie, and Jezebel join Slayer Club to check out the party-scene. Although the female sophomores get mobbed by frosh-males, no vampires appear. St. Hubert's party is opened to frosh, as long as they come in costume, to try and flush out the vampires that way. On Tuesday, Erik and Juanita decorate the dorm and go through their music collections for danceable tunes. Tony and Magnus, with his perfectly legal passport that swears he's 21 (although he's really closer to 421), drive to New York state to buy the beer and liquor, including a case of Captain Morgan rum. Meanwhile, Sam goes to the library to research scrying and time-displacement spells to try and find out what might be killing the Slayers in her dream. Temporal scrying is a tantalizing field of study, but runs aground where theoretical physics meets magic. Even with Drew's help with the big words, neither of them can make sense of the theorems, and practical spells are just a pipe dream. So, Sam goes back to hunting vampires the old-fashioned way: in chain mail, with her sword and Halloween angel wings to complete the costume. Drew wears all black and a priest's collar. Joshua throws a monk's robe over his regular clothes as St. Peter, guarding the stairs between hell and heaven with Brynhilde (Callie). Tori and Jezebel try to out-do each other in dominatrix outfits: Tori with the brass bustier she brought back from her time as a prisoner in a demon dimsension, Jezebel in black leather with thigh-high boots and a cat-o-nine-tails. Erik and Juanita both display lots of tattoos as they spin records. The party is a rousing success, both in intoxication and demon fighting. Aimee shows up to case the new crop of frosh-meat. Sam makes a flying leap down the stairs, catches the doorframe, and tackles Aimee from above. "We said, no drug dealers!" Sam escorts the "drug dealer" outside and knocks her out for questioning later. After the party, Sam offers Aimee her life, in exchange for the location of her lair and leaving town for good. Aimee pretends to comply. She leads Slayer Club down into the storm-drain tunnels, not to her lair, but to the lair of a lake-monster that she sometimes feeds the bodies of her kills. When the monster attacks, Aimee slips away. Slayer Club kills the creature, then go back to cover some of the later-ending parties. Joshua spots two of the missing frosh. This time, Slayer Club hangs back and follows them to an abandoned house where they're squatting in the basement. Then, they stake the vamps—one with the crucifix through the eye move Sam picked up from the Karaoke singer—so the others won't be warned. After sunrise, Slayer Club returns. Going from cot to cot, they stake all the remaining frosh-vampires and take their IDs to prove to Director Wilson that they are dead.

Epilogue: Just before sunrise, in another quiet neighborhood—it could be anywhere in the Solomon suburbs—another house with a "foreclosed" sign on the door, hidden behind a screen of leafy trees. The garden gate opens, and the elderly-looking hippie vampire slips inside. His eyes are dreamy as he hums the tune to "Imagine" and opens the door to the basement. Inside, the walls are covered with a floor-to-ceiling photograph-mural of John Lennon in concert. Under starry skies, Lennon's arms are spread as if to embrace the audience, or mimic the crucifixion. At one end of the large room stands a table, covered with candles and pictures of Lennon, artificial flowers, and sticks of burning incense. The floor is carpeted with rugs and sleeping bags, and dozens, if not hundreds, of vampires bedding down for the day.

5.2 Ghosts In The Machine
Written and directed by Tim Ballew.
The events of this episode take place on Friday and Saturday, September 9th and 10th, 1994.
Intro: It's a dark and stormy night in Solomon, Massachusetts. In Martense's historic cemetery, Samantha Kessler faces a linebacker-sized vampire wearing a varsity football jacket. In the sleeting downpour, it's more like mud wrestling than a clean fight. Drew holds his poncho over his crossbow to keep it dry, but the bolt misses by at least ten yards. Overshot! Loss of down! Dr. Gersham appears around the corner of a mausoleum, walking his mastiff golem, which leaps into the fight. Football-vamp shoulders the clay dog like an offensive lineman. Up on the mausoleum roof, Joshua faces a second vampire carrying a large, wriggling bundle over its shoulder. Rather than get caught, the vamp throws the bundle and jumps down to the next crypt. Joshua catches the bag and slides down the roof. Intercepted! Tori decapitates football vamp while Joshua unlaces the U.S. mail bag and helps out a pretty brunette wearing a Martense cheerleading sweater. Slayer Club goes back to St. Hubert's for showers and hot chocolate. Joshua disappears with Erica, the cheerleader, and everyone goes to bed. Meanwhile, (camera cuts back and forth) Erik and Juanita dance at a rave. Multi-colored lights strobe over the crowd of surging bodies, making their tattoos seem almost alive. Erik pulls Juanita close. Unnoticed around them, four men in black turtlenecks and narrow glasses exchange glances and nod. Juanita and Erik leave the crowd to buy energy drinks. Juanita downs hers and wipes her lips, but when she looks around, Erik is gone. Credits.

The next day, Joshua struts his "walk of shame" (he has no shame) and Erik doesn't show up for classes. Juanita is worried. She and Sam borrow some of Erik's art supplies to do a seeker spell, but the result is strange. On the map of Solomon, the dust swirls and collects in several places, including the media center of the computer science building, which is a place Erik would never set foot in. Sam and Juanita try again with a larger map. Across the U.S. the "Erik-charged" particles again settle in several locations. Drew recognizes U. of Illinois, Urbana-Champlain, Berkley, and Redmond, Washington, all places that are home to major Internet routing centers. Drew guesses that if Erik were digitized, like in Tron, he could be zipping though the wires at the speed of light. He logs onto his computer and sends Erik e-mail—"Are you in there?"—but gets no response. Joshua asks Erica how she got abducted. She'd gone to the library, where a nerdy guy named Max Minier hesitantly asked her out. She laughed at him. Shortly after, a big football player asked her out and she left the library with him. Bad choice. According to the Martense directory, Max Minier is a grad student at the Martense media lab. Dr. Gersham recalls that there's a brand new department chair this semester—Prof. Gary Veckner, who left the IT department of Wolfram & Hart to come to Martense. Rumors floating around the faculty said that the law firm wanted Veckner back in the worst kind of way, and the new professor has hired some serious protection from his former employers.

Drew and Joshua go to the Media lab posing as a reporter and photographer from the Monitor, writing a story about the new computer projects. They walk in on an argument between Veckner and Minier, about some missing equipment. When Minier leaves, Drew follows. Joshua stays to question Prof. Veckner about his project. Veckner won't talk until Joshua tells how Slayer Club encountered Wolfram & Hart before, at the Paradise Theater and Drew's bottomless pit in Jamaica. Although paranoid, Veckner begins to trust that Joshua is not from W&H. When he left the company, Veckner took the master copy of a virtual reality program he'd helped create. It was meant to release a "digital entity" (i.e., a Net Demon) into the world, but when Veckner caught a glimpse of the entity, he was terrified. The one place he thought he'd be safe was his alma mater. He'd planned to shut down the program from the inside, but hadn't yet figured out a way to do this when an interface module and several headsets were stolen last night. From Max, Drew finds out what happened: other grad students "borrowed" the equipment to try the VR world themselves. Wolfram & Hart has posted a $10 million prize to any person or team who returns the stolen 'Easter egg' buried in the code. So, the grad students thought they'd give it a shot, but the game was getting pretty hairy in the weirdness factor. They needed someone who could grok the magic, so they asked Erik Sorensen for help. The guy's into all that voodoo shit, and knows games too. Last Max heard, Erik was logged in all night.

Slayer Club splits up to do more virtual damage. After a big lunch, Drew, Juanita, and Tori go to the apartment Max shares with his grad student roomies. Erik is lying on the couch, wearing a headset and drooling. Juanita volunteers to go first, so she can be the first to virtually kill Erik for making her crazy worried like that. But there's a little matter of a contract on W&H stationary, with lots of sub-clauses and sealed with dark red ink that could be blood. Drew won't sign that paper, but agrees to sign a separate contract with the grad students, promising to split the $10 million evenly, no matter what happens. That's acceptable. Drew writes up the second contract on notebook paper and signs it. Juanita and Tori do too. The grad students sign, and then hook them up to the machine. Meanwhile, Sam, Joshua, and Dr. Gersham go to the Media lab where the professors greet each other as brothers. Magic bridges all specialties, even computer science and ancient history. Here, there's no contract, just an extra bit of code, a "cheat sheet" that will help Slayer Club find equipment in VR world. Their mission is to find the hollow tether to an orbital station, like Jack's beanstalk, that'll take them up to the contact point where the Net Demon will emerge. Severing the tether or closing down the contact will return the Net Demon to its own dimension. Prof. Veckner wishes them luck.

Slayer Club meets in VR world, high up in a skyscraper looking out on a horizon-wide city somewhere between Coruscant and the Fifth Element. Their clothing is vintage Star Wars—Dr. Gersham has a light brown Jedi robe, Drew is Han Solo, Joshua's all in black like a dark Jedi, Sam is wearing a white and orange space suit, Tori has Princess Leia's outfit from Jabba's throne room in Empire Strikes Back, and Juanita has sprouted the head tails of a Twi'lek dancer. Juanita and Tori agree that when they return, those grad students are in for a bad time. A clear, curved wall opens out to helipad for hover cars. Along the edge stand several white barrels. Drew concentrates on what he wants to find: a set of power armor, before Sam smashes the first barrel. What they wish for, they get. Drew gives Sam the armor, and Sam gives Juanita her space suit. Juanita asks for a pulse rifle with a clip of ammo. Doctor Gersham gets a light saber. Joshua asks for a thermal detonator, on the theory that if you get everything you asked for, you didn't ask for enough. He gets it, which is either good, or worrying. Next, Joshua wants to try for a TIE Fighter, but there are no more barrels. On the horizon loom several obelisks, a glass pyramid, and the shining space elevator that is their goal. While looking for a pedestrian chute or flying taxi stand, Drew spots one guy who doesn't fit in: he's wearing a black suit and sunglasses. The Matrix hasn't been invented yet, so he must be from Wolfram & Hart. Sam tackles him. Drew confiscates his gun. Sam beheads him with a knife and he sparkles out of existence. Police in riot gear converge. Slayer Club takes the W&H guy's hovercar and peel off looking for more white barrels. Before long, Slayer Club are all outfitted in either Boba Fett-style power armor or Storm Trooper-style rigid armor, and carry pulse rifles, light sabers, or blasters. But on one rooftop, battledroids attack. Drew blasts a hole under the first row and Dr. Gersham uses "Jedi mind tricks" to melt the rest with a plasma fireball. Unfortunately, the explosion blasts Drew and Tori off the roof, right into a chase scene. Drew falls into an open-topped hover car with four gangster-types. Tori lands on the roof of a squad car in hot pursuit. Drew grabs the wheel and aims the gangster car right through a flying fruit stand and into a fuel depot. He bails out just before it hits. Sam pushes Joshua aside and catches Drew before he can fall too far. Joshua maneuvers under the cops and Tori jumps back into their own hover car. Slayer Club speeds off toward the space elevator.

Halfway up the tether, Slayer Club finds another team of W&H operatives in black suits and sunglasses. Battle ensues with deflecting blaster bolts and flying jumps. Another level of the beanstalk opens onto an anachronistic bedchamber, draped with red tapestries and golden candelabra. Erik stands just inside the doorway. In the bed lies Gwen, her eyes opening in super slo-mo. Juanita is not amused. She yanks Erik up. He gushes thanks for finding him and getting him the heck out of here. Somehow, he got stuck in this room, his dream again, on his way up the VR beanstalk. Juanita blasts a door in the wall to the next level, a security room with x-ray machines and retinal scans. Sam and Joshua wrench two mini-guns off the wall and make another door. The room at the top is a darkened amphitheater, except for the glowing, spherical portal in the middle of the air. A third W&H team mills about in zero gravity while a robed figure floats under the portal chanting. The portal cracks open along one edge and a fringe of glowing tentacles writhes out into the room. Joshua and Sam spray mini-gun fire into the W&H clones, while Tori vaporizes the mage with her pulse rifle. Red mist spreads out, along with two artifacts that Dr. Gersham catches, and then wishes he didn't: a severed human hand, and a bloodshot eyeball the size of a grapefruit. Drew groans, "The eye and hand of Veckner. Of course!" Dr. Gersham holds up the artifacts and shouts "close!" in every language he knows, which is lot. When he gets to Babylonian, a hideous shriek echoes and the glowing doorway snaps shut, severing the tentacles. Joshua sets his thermal detonator in the wall of the security room and Slayer Club speeds back down the tether just ahead of the fireball. Back on the ground, they find the nearest glowing EXIT sign and log out. Tori and Juanita take turns slapping the grad students around while Sam reports to Prof. Veckner that his program is now useless, which is a great relief.

5.3 Samantha Jane and the Incident at Calico Gulch
Written and directed by Chris Roosenraad.
The events of this episode take place between Friday, September 23rd and Sunday, September 25th, 1994.
Teaser: A tall, blonde woman in khaki shorts and a Stanford T-shirt hikes a rocky trail through a dusty landscape much rougher than the hills around Solomon. She's carrying a large backpack, a tripod, and a map. At the top of a rise, she takes off her California Angels baseball cap to wipe her forehead. It's Anne Crewe, who left Solomon two years ago when her parents moved to San Francisco. She takes a sip from her canteen, checks her compass, and sets up her tripod with a surveyor's scope, making careful notes on a clipboard that reads "Mt. Locke, Texas Observatory—Initial Survey." As she sights through the scope, there's a shift underfoot and a grinding sound. The ground cracks open. Anne falls down into darkness and a shooting star-field, to land with a thump on a dirt floor. Torchlight dazzles her eyes and a voice with a deep southern drawl says, "Just where did you come from, darlin'?" (Credits)

At Martense, Dylan Reese recruits Slayer Club to join a reenactment of the Battle of Chantilly. Two other companies, from New York and Virginia, are visiting for the event, so it should be a good time, if you like period costumes and hardtack for lunch. Erik and Tori, who know how to ride, join the cavalry. Drew joins the gunnery squad. Dylan presents Sam with a gingham dress to fill the role of a wife, or "camp follower," but Sam refuses. She'll wear a fake beard and join the medics instead. Dylan is disappointed. They never have enough camp followers. It's just not authentic without them. But it's authentic enough. Cannons spew white smoke. Tori's horse responds to her directions perfectly; Erik's mount, less so. Sam's fellow medic shows off his case of Civil War surgeon's tools—mostly saws—that look like they haven't been cleaned since 1845. During the lunch break, traveling merchants set out tables of pewter tableware and jewelry, Indian beads, and feathered charms. One of the merchants wears a wide-brimmed hat and long cloak, an authentic costume, if a little heavy for the warm day.

During the afternoon counter-charge, Drew notices the other gunnery officers acting strange and staring blankly at nothing. Tori's war-sense kicks in and she shies her horse sideways just as a real cannonball plows into the dirt next to her. She kicks her mount to a gallop, charging the cannon before they can re-load. Drew draws his saber and cuts the fuse of the next cannon before it can go off. From twenty yards way, Tori snuffs the burning match of the third cannon. All the gunners except Drew are wearing braided necklaces of glass beads. The heavily cloaked merchant was selling things like this, but he's gone now. When Erik and Drew confiscate the necklaces, the gunners pass out and Drew gets a vision—bleak, dry, western mountains. Parched. Trapped. And deep, centuries-old anger. He sees a flare of torchlight, and a face he recognizes: Anne, as we last saw her, tied up in the corner of a cave. Slayer club abandons the reenactment and takes the necklaces to Professor Audley, expert on Native American lore. He examines them and declares that the construction is not Native American, but they are old, concurrent with the War Between the States. Sam calls Anne's number at Stanford, but gets her answering machine. She's supposed to be on a Geology/Astrophysics trip, surveying sites for the new Mt. Locke observatory outside of Houston, Texas. Except she's not in Texas, 1994. Trusting the age of the artifacts and Drew's visions, Anne's in deep trouble somewhere in the mid-1800s.

Juanita and Pandora set up a dream-travel spell, using the necklaces as foci so they can go back to rescue Anne. Slayer Club dreams: Erik sees Gwen wake up and look at him before Juanita yanks him away. Sam's line of Slayers is still shorter than it was before. She can see the length of the line, or concentrate on the individual faces, but with Heisenbergian uncertainty she can't be sure of both. The Slayer who asked for her help introduces herself as Kate and says she's Sam's guide for this vision. The Slayers in the vision represent the most probable future; they're fading away because something in Sam's time is making them less probable. But, when she asks what she has to do, Juanita pulls her out of the dream before Kate can answer. Tori appears in medieval armor. Drew is dressed as Burt Ward's Robin, and the fewer questions asked about that dream, the better. Pandora is wearing an academic robe, with a Nobel Prize around her neck. When Juanita collects them in dreamtime, Slayer Club changes clothes with a thought. Erik puts a chainmail shirt under his regular T-shirt and cargo pants, with his gloves and hammer tucked into his belt. Drew wears a cowboy hat and leather jacket with his Star Trek T-shirt jeans, rapier, and flashlight/crossbow. Tori opts for something fashionable, which means a big, ribboned bonnet and a full skirt to easily hide her sword and lighter. Sam wears her usual Slaying gear: jeans, T-shirt with flannel, brown leather jacket, and the Kessler sword strapped across her back. Pandora insists on going, with her St. Germain's plaid skirt and jacket, and a big backpack full of books. Juanita stays behind to be their anchor in the present, and agrees to meet them in their dreams again in three nights.

1867 Texas. There's a small town—if you want to call a meager trading post and couple tents a town—about a quarter mile away, where a squad of men in Union blue works on building some earthworks. At the trading post, they find everything a homesteader could want, and some things they obviously don't, like a whole box of cheap bead necklaces like the ones at the reenactment. According to the shopkeeper, they were made by some old Johnnie Rebs who took up mining out in the hills. Sam trades her watch, and Drew his flashlight—"Tesla-lamp: lights itself!" (at least until the batteries die)—for supplies, including a pearl-handled revolver that Tori drools over. Slayer Club hikes all day looking for caves like Drew saw in his vision. At sunset, Sam makes camp. Just before dark, Drew spots someone on running down the next mountain, followed by three burly-looking men. Slayer Club runs over to lend assistance. It's Anne and the three "Johnny Rebs" that the storekeeper spoke of. Stanley, David, and Joseph don't stand a chance against Sam and Tori. One look at the guns, and they're off down the mountain into the dark. A fourth man, Lloyd, sets off Sam's "vampire-sense." Drew takes a shot at him, but misses, and he's gone, too. In the dark, Sam doesn't trust tracking them down an unknown mountain. Anne leads them back to the prospectors' cave, which they appropriate for their own camp. The prospectors have dug a hole in one corner with torches set around the perimeter. In the center of the floor, a large vein of gray-black ore curves through the lighter granite, forming a stylized Nordic dragon eating its own tail.

That night in the cave, Erik doesn't dream about Gwen in her Sleeping-Beauty castle. He doesn't dream at all, and has the best night's rest he's had in months. Instead of her Slayer-line, Sam dreams of brilliant white light and a sensation of flying, complete freedom and peace. Drew sees himself as the Weatherman, standing on a raised platform in front of the biggest bank of computer screens ever. In each screen, a girl's face, or a monster, or a clip of landscape. Drew is directing an army of Slayers via satellite communication, with GPS tracking, on-call mystics, and all the other toys the Watchers won't let Sam have! Anne also dreams of computers, roomfuls of them, large and small, racks of CPUs and data storage, all networked to form something just shy of actual sentience. She knows this isn't possible in 1994, but it could be, someday. Pandora dreams of dancing in a storm of confetti: the party after the Nobel Prize presentation. Tori 's dream is of a lake of liquid fire ringed by mountains of glass: the hell-dimension that once belonged to Baal, which her minions have been conquering piece by piece for two years. At the head of the army, a bright pink beret shows where Lenth, Generalissimo of the Tori-ites, exhorts his men to take the field in Tori's honor. They do, but with high casualties. Not quite a Pyrrhic victory, but they are definitely going to need reinforcements.

In the morning, everyone relates their dreams and brainstorms about why there would be an image of the Midgard Serpent hidden in a cave in Texas. Sam tries to track the men who fled, but the ground is too hard to take prints. About lunchtime, Drew makes a startling observation: the image in the rock is moving! Not quickly, but since dawn, the dragon's foreleg has rotated a couple degrees. Drew carves notches in the floor with a shovel and Anne calculates the rate of revolution. The cave-mouth points due south. The Dragon's head is currently at W, NW and moving clockwise. At its current rate, the Dragon's head, where the tail meets teeth, will be at due north in eight and a half days. Slayer Club investigates the hole in the corner and finds the floor is a single plate of silvery-gray metal and, according to Anne's readings, ever so slightly curved: part of a sphere, or ellipsoid, about a kilometer across, or roughly the entire volume of the hill under the cave.

The third night, Erik sleeps in the cave, but everyone else pitches tents on top of the hill. When Juanita appears in their dreams, she is puzzled. She couldn't reach Erik. When Sam explains what they found, Juanita switches places with Pandora, who's been bored stiff with all the wrong books. Pandora promises to hit the Martense library for everything they have about the Midgard Serpent, and history of this part of Texas in 1867. If this "egg" hatched there should be records of it at least as an earthquake or eruption. Juanita takes one look at the dragon markings, and falls in love. This whole area is strongly magical and aspected toward serpents. She lies down right at the dragon's head, closes her eyes, and goes into a trance. She stays like that all day, while the others keep searching the hills. The fourth evening, Sam smacks her forehead. In the back of the cave there's a pile of the miner's equipment Lloyd and his gang left behind. She sits down with the rough map they bought at the Trading Post and casts a Seeker spell. The three miners and their vampire friend are holed up on the far side of Black Mountain, which, according to Anne's surveying, is exactly the same size and shape as Mt. Locke and due east of it. Both cave-mouths face due south.

Just after dawn, Slayer Club goes to confront the miners. Their cave has red poles stuck around the dragon's circle, and calculations marked on the walls. Sam and Tori beat up the humans, but don't kill them. The men run off toward the settlement and the vampire wakes up. Drew and Sam question him. Lloyd found these hills very conducive to magic, and so set his coffin facing the dragon's mouth, the same way Juanita set herself up. Apparently, these two dragons have been rotating, clockwise and counter-clockwise, at the same rate, for eight years that Lloyd knows of. Drew suggests that they let this vampire go, because he's the "traveling merchant" that sold the necklaces that got Slayer Club involved in the first place. But Sam suggests that he find a new lair, since she and "her posse" are going to be checking on this place from time to time. Juanita makes a note of the exact location so she can come back whenever she likes, and then opens the dream-portal to return everyone to their proper time and place. Anne reports that Mt. Locke and nearby Black Mountain are not geologically stable, and so would not make a good location for the observatory. Slayer Club get back to Martense in time for their Monday morning classes, while the dragon-clocks continue to tick away the centuries, buried in the west Texas hills.

5.4 Guerrillas in the Mist
Written and directed by Greg Pearson.
The events of this episode take place between Saturday, October 8th and Monday, October 10th, 1994.
Intro: Michael and Dr. Gersham are sitting in Michael's living room, glasses of Maniescewicz and Schnapps at hand, discussing 18th century imperialism and their syllabi for next semester. Michael's phone rings. He answers, listens, and curses in Ancient Aramaic. After hanging up, Michael invites Dr. Gersham to join him on a road trip, since Michael doesn't drive. A Temple seer picked up a vibe from a cult known as "The Order of the Solar Temple" that claimed to be a direct descendant of the Temple of Solomon, much to the amusement of the actual Temple of Solomon. But an hour ago, they not so amusingly killed themselves (or were killed) en masse. Two branches of the Order were in Switzerland, and one was in Quebec. Being the only real Temple of Solomon agent on the east coast, Michael is ordered to Morin Heights to investigate. As the two professors drive out of town, thick, clinging mist rolls over Solomon's Main Street and an airport shuttle bus drives into town, stopping in front of the Sacred Grounds. Ada emerges, wearing a London Fog trench coat and Burberry scarf. She pulls out three suitcases with prominent British Airways stickers, looks over her shoulder, rummages in her bag for the keys to the store, and then looks up again. In her very precise Queen's English: "You have got to be kidding me!" Credits.

It's Columbus Day weekend, which in Solomon, is a big deal. There was a battle fought here during the Revolution, "The Columbus Day Massacre"—three people were killed and the British fort up on Solomon Heights was burned to the ground. (Okay, three buildings, two cannon, a lean-to for horses, and a latrine. But there was a stockade, so it was still a fort!) In late September of 1777, the British commander got tired of local guerrillas—ahem, "Freedom Fighters"—cutting the British supply lines, so he arrested Solomon's mayor and the four town council members to enforce obedience. Instead, the town rose up to rescue them. Someone spilled a lantern on the horses' hay and the five prisoners overpowered their guards, only to have half of them get shot trying to get over the wall. Mayor Edward Clark and two councilmen died. Robert Sorensen and another councilman escaped to fight another day. If those names sound familiar, they should. They have direct, male-line descendants in Solomon today.

One of those descendants has begun dabbling in an ancient art, practiced by colonials for centuries, sometimes with almost mystical effects. Other times, it just produces a nasty mess that only a frat member would dare drink. Erik is brewing his own beer for St. Hubert's Columbus Day party. Magnus started fermenting a cask of mead in the janitor's closet over a month ago. Joshua also seems to be fermenting something in his room. Strange smells like pine tar leak under the door, but no one is brave enough to find out what it is. As at all St. Hubert's parties, costumes are required before 10 pm. Erik plans to dress as Samuel Adams. Drew resurrects his pirate outfit as Laffayette. Sam gets a dress and a large earthenware jug to play Molly Pitcher, and Tori borrows a set of panniers from a friend in the theater. Bets are made about how many weapons she can conceal under her skirt. However, that's for the party, which isn't until Sunday night.

Saturday, Sam overhears Marcy and Callie discussing a security case of a student who went missing from the Crimson & Gray bar. It's only two blocks from campus, and they never card anyone, so it's a favorite hangout for students. Sam and Drew stake out the bar, sitting in her Jeep a block away, although with the windows fogging up, it's a wonder they can see anything. Eventually, two students leave, weaving and holding on to each other. Two other figures emerge from an alley and follow. Even without Sam's vampire sense, it's obvious these two are holdovers from the seventies. The female is wearing tie-dyed everything; the male, a horizontal-striped velour shirt and bell bottoms. Sam and Drew disentangle and follow them. During the fight, tie-dye vamp chick bites Drew, but Sam pulls her off and holds her in a half nelson while she stakes velour vamp, and then finishes off tie-dye. The drunken students run back to campus. Sam gets a sad look in her eye when she sees the blood on Drew's neck, but he isn't badly hurt, and they both shake it off.

Saturday night, Erik has another slow motion, Gwen-waking-up-in-a-fairy-tale-castle dream. Tonight, she sits all the way up, and almost looks like she might speak. But then he wakes and it's over. Good thing Juanita's in Texas again, or she'd be pissed. Not that he can help his dreams, just like he can't control the drifting clutter and dirty laundry when she's not around. Sam dreams about her Slayer lineage again: Vivian and others in the past, Faith and others in the future, the line of Slayers a little shorter than it was last time. Kate is there, Sam's Slayer spirit guide with her big doe eyes and cryptic answers. Sam's wracked her brain, the Martense library, and all the books that Slayer Club stole from Hartsdale. No one seems to know of any being or force that can make the future even less certain than it already is. Pure chaos, maybe, but how could someone focus pure chaos specifically on the Slayers? Or the power that makes a Slayer? Even the Watchers don't know everything about that. One Slayer dies, the next one is Called. The power flows from Potential to Potential, like electricity to a lightning rod. So, what if the problem is a kind of magic capacitor, tuned to catch the Slayer power at the time of her death, before it can reach the blonde girl who seems destined to follow? That would make the entire future line disappear, sure. But Sam's going to do her best to keep that from happening.

Sam's phone wakes her up at 6 AM. It's Jonathan. The Sacred Grounds was attacked last night. She gets up and Drew blearily follows. Even though they're abstaining from sex, he still wants to sleep in her bed, because it's the only place he feels safe. Sam lets him on the weekends, even though it's difficult to keep her hands off him. When they arrive, the Sacred Grounds is trashed. Windows broken, coffee canisters smashed, and several black suitcases and women's clothes scattered everywhere. Sam checks the basement, where their practice weapons are scattered, but nothing seems to be missing, except the owner of the clothing: a new Watcher, presumably, who doesn't know what she's in for. Jonathan finally calls the cops, and then has to stand around answering questions. Sam pockets one of the Watcher's bras to use for scrying. A woman puts a lot more thought into choosing a bra than socks or t-shirt, and it's worn close to the heart. However, the scrying has no result with maps of Solomon, the United States, or the world. Either the new Watcher is dead, or abducted to another world or time period. This being Solomon, none of those are unlikely scenarios. After his ROTC run up and down Solomon Heights, Joshua goes to Blaire's to question her, and also warn her about the other drinking establishments being trashed: the Sacred Grounds, and Sullivan's, a faux-English pub that caters mostly to yuppies and tourists. Drew immediately calls Pandora to ask for her help. She's reluctant to leave her current project—trying to trace some mysterious noises she's heard on the St. Germain's grounds the past couple of nights—but agrees that finding Ada takes precedence. Pandora scans both vandalism sites for mystical clues. At Sullivan's, there's a pungent residue of liquor and bits of faux English décor litter the floor, but no sign of a temporal or dimensional portal.

Thinking that the demon might be targeting things British, Slayer Club Britishizes their party on Sunday night. Their housemates don't care what the decorations are, as long as the beer is good, so Union Jacks fly and Joshua unveils his costume and homemade libation: King George III, serving bathtub gin. He even has a crown, which he found at Sullivan's. Tori modifies her gown as a British lady: Tori, the Tory. Sam gives up Molly Pitcher to become a Hessian mercenary. Drew's creativity was exhausted by his Lafayette costume, though, and he stubbornly refuses to change. Erik doesn't change his costume, either, but he claims to be Benedict Arnold, rather than Samuel Adams. His beer isn't bad, for an amateur. Better than the average swill. Magnus's mead is quite good, but the bathtub gin goes over better. After midnight, the party winds down, but no demons show up. Joshua decides to royally promenade with his lady and bodyguards, and a loyal royalist at his side, but the promenade also fails to draw out any demons. Slayer Club changes back into street clothes and go to check on Pandora. St. Germain's campus is heavily warded, so they can't get too close. Drew and Erik go back to get Drew's telescope. Realizing that they're training a high-powered telescope on a fifteen-year-old girl's bedroom window gives them the "eewws." Pandora's window is open and her room is trashed and empty. Joshua and Sam damn the wards, full steam ahead, up a tree, over the roof, into the courtyard. Joshua pauses to knock out the two guards who investigate the alarm. He pantses them, ties them up with their belts, and puts their magic wands under a separate shrub from the sleeping bodies. Five sets of footprints trail out over the grass, gradually lighten, and disappear near the river, heading straight back to Solomon Heights.

Slayer Club burns rubber up the hill. In the moonlight, the outline of the fort emerges from the mist. Two spectral guards stand in the courtyard, two more in the stockade, one sits at the Commander's desk in the office, and three prisoners huddle in the cells: Ada and Pandora, and a young man Slayer Club doesn't recognize. Erik consults his portable grimoire of voodoo knowledge—his tattoos. There is a spell invoking Legba, guardian of portals, which opens a path to the spirit world. Erik tries it and Joshua, with the Legba tattoo on his foot, goes ghostly. The guards—spirits of the dead councilmen—jump when he appears out of nowhere and they take him to the office. Joshua's accent and clothing (thank God he changed!) convince Mayor Clark that he's not a British loyalist. They let Joshua speak to Ada and Pandora, and he sends a message to the rest of Slayer Club by writing in the dirt with his magical katana. The third prisoner is Oliver Brant, the missing student from the Crimson & Gray. Sam writes back using her sword. More research is needed, either to bring this Colonial Brigadoon all the way solid, or communicate with the ghosts, because otherwise the three British citizens are going to be shot on Monday night: blood for blood shed in the Columbus Day Massacre 217 years ago.

Monday afternoon is the parade, starring Erik's grandfather, the Congressman. Slayer Club spends the day in the Martense library. After much searching, Erik finds a Celtic ritual that brings a piece of land from one plane into another. Originally used to recover someone stolen by the fey (Erik can relate), the ritual requires powdered silver and a personal artifact for each person, as well as the place and time. Tori buys out the magic shop's entire stock of powdered argent and Magnus grinds up a silver dagger from Slayer Club's weapon stash to make up the rest. Although way under-dressed, Erik, Sam, and Drew go to Grandpa Sorensen's reception. While Erik chats with his grandfather and the security guards, Sam manages to swipe an authentic Colonial quill from the display table. With one of Pandora's books, Joshua's belt knife, a notebook from Oliver's room, and Ada's black, lacy bra, they have all the artifacts. At sunset, Slayer Club sprinkles the silver powder all the way around the ruined fort's foundations. Erik draws Celtic knots on poster board with the Colonial pen and arranges the artifacts around them. He gets momentarily distracted by Ada's bra, but hands out 3x5 cards with the phonetic spelling of the Gaelic chant. As the sun disappears behind the horizon, the fort comes into ghostly being, and then all the way solid.

He did it! The biggest spell Erik's ever attempted, and there was no rain of coffee mugs this time. Sam kicks down the door and Erik throws his hammer. The thunderclap brings the ghosts running. Erik charges directly into musket fire, which is notoriously inaccurate. To a point. One musket ball misses, but another hits and drops Erik to his knees. Joshua shoots two of the councilmen in the kneecaps, and Sam and Tori punch out the other two. Joshua challenges Mayor Clark to a duel and coolly stands, not firing even when fired upon. The smallest turn of his shoulders causes the Mayor's shot to miss, and Joshua shoots the ground at his feet. The Mayor is impressed. Slayer Club could have killed them, again, but chose not to. Joshua's cool logic combined with an impassioned rant from Tori convinces Mayor Clark that it's time to give up his blood vendetta and rest. Two of the prisoners are Tori's personal friends. She's very upset with her ancestor. Why is her father's family all jerks? Almost makes her want to change her name. Sam binds Erik's wound, which is messy but superficial, and Robert Sorensen apologizes for shooting his many-greats grandson. Slayer Club takes Ada, Pandora, and Oliver back to present day Solomon as the ghostly fort vanishes into the mist.

5.5 Demon Days
Written and directed by Tim Ballew.
The events of this episode take place between Sunday, October 30th and Tuesday, November 1st, 1994.
Intro: Halloween morning hasn't even dawned yet, but Slayer Club is getting an early start. Camera POV is dim, Rami-esque bobbing along the contours of a rock passage. Battle noises and the 'poof' of vampire dusting come from ahead. Closer in are chattering voices and occasional glimpse of greenish brown, gnarled hands at the edges of the frame. The passage ends at a twelve foot cliff and the camera looks down at Slayer Club, fighting a roomful of stoned vampires, 70s rejects, surrounded by lava lamps and black-light glowing posters. The right side of the camera dips slightly, and a pale wooden wand comes into view. The wand points downward, directly at Sam Kessler. A louder chatter sounds like an incantation, then a bright flash of light, acrid smoke, and darkness. Credits.

The camera pans around the small tunnel at six confused looking creatures. They put hands to their faces and look down at themselves and around at each other, squeaking in alarm. In the cavern below, Sam Kessler stands up and flexes her muscles, grinning wide. Drew is next to come around, hefting his crossbow. Michael Saiyer sits up and looks at his hands like he's never seen anything so marvelous. Just at his fingertips, the swirling sandstorm that is Michael's true form flickers into view. A thin smile splits his lips. One by one, the others come to their senses. Dr. Gersham seems disappointed, but then he finds his hip flask and takes a deep swig. Seeing this, Tori tries to take the flask away from him. Dr. Gersham swats her. Joshua jumps up to help, springs five feet in the air, and lands with an ungainly crash. Within minutes, Slayer Club is fighting like a bunch of four-year-olds. Sam tosses her friends around like ragdolls and roars incoherent oaths. Only Michael stands apart, watching the brawl with his arms crossed sardonically. Tori finally gets Dr. Gersham's flask away from him and finishes off the schnapps, then scowls and tosses the empty over her shoulder. Sam roars something loud and guttural, and everyone falls into a ragtag line to troop out of the cavern toward the surface.

Behind on the ledge, six lumpy, misshapen creatures stare with open mouths at the scene below. The largest, fattest one, with a shock of crayon-red hair and a shiny bronze breastplate lets off a poisonous fart. "'Scuse me. Roll call! I'm Sam Kessler. Who are you?" The rail-thin one covered in oily sweat wearing a bowler hat sheepishly admits, "I'm Drew." "Tori" is a lumpy female, vastly endowed, with a poofy dress, carrying a largeish blunderbuss over her shoulder. She reaches into one pocket and pulls out a large caliber matchlock pistol, puts it back, and then pulls out a black powder bomb, and again hides it somewhere on her person. "Michael" laughs, a thin wheeze, and identifies himself. He has yellow skin, gaunt features, and a long, black robe. In one hand, he holds a wicked straight razor and in a pouch around his waist, there are a set of thumbscrews, pinchers, assorted knives and other torture implements. Dr. Gersham is rotund, with a nose like a ripe tomato and food-stained burgundy robes, a wizard's hat, and gnarled staff. In his satchel is a large book, Snuggletuck's Nearly Useful Book of Spells. And in the corner, what appears to be a helmet on legs tilts back to reveal a tiny little creature with big, bright eyes that claims to be Joshua. He's got the helmet, an axe, and a shield, any one of which is bigger than he is.

Down in the cavern, one last vampire peeks out from behind a woven mandala hanging on the wall and blows a cloud of ganja smoke. "Sam-demon" immediately jumps down the side of the cliff, bouncing and rolling to the bottom, and runs over to attack the vamp with her "Beat Stick," a large club. Unfortunately, she's only four feet tall and more roly-poly than agile. Michael summons a rope ladder from his satchel and the rest of the Slayer Club demons climb down to help dust the vamp. Dr. Gersham's ferrethund golem cautiously slinks over, sniffing at the Dr. Gersham demon, finally deciding that this is, indeed, its master, even if it smells funky. Dr. Gersham sends the golem out to find Erik, and if possible, Juanita or Pandora as well.

Joshua-demon and Drew-demon go back through the tunnel the demons came from. They find a pair of distracted demon guards discussing how much of what kind of compost results in the best turnips, and sneak past them. Beyond the guard post is a gigantic cavern pocked with caves and suspended buildings, surrounding a moldering pile of a castle. Demons, both the gobliny ones that Slayer Club has become and others, even the occasional vampire, wander the streets of "Demon Town," or "Pitsberg" in their language. Joshua-demon trundles into a bar and eavesdrops. Here, it seems unmentionable social diseases are quite mentionable. He moves on to the next table, where two demons are talking about someone named "Snotstone," the Chief's torturer, and wondering why someone like that would hang around with losers like "Bronzebottom" and his cronies. And why they went to "Sekket the Profound" for a favor. One of the demons says he heard that Snotstone was on a secret mission, something to do with the Vampire Slayer. At the mention of the Slayer, the bar empties. Joshua-demon hides under his helmet and sneaks out the door while the two conversationalists help themselves to more alcohol. Joshua-demon and Drew-demon sneak back to report what they heard.

Meanwhile, the ferrethund golem finds Erik, just waking up for his 6 AM yoga class. With a combination of charades and scratching words on the floor, the golem gets Erik to follow him. On the way, Erik sees "Sam" on the street, and she casually decks him, but not as hard as the Slayer usually punches. When Erik and the golem arrive back at the cave, the demons squeak, chatter and growl at him, but he doesn't speak goblin demon. Fortunately, Erik is taking Spanish this semester, which Tori, Joshua, and Dr. Gersham also know, even though Dr. Gersham speakths Casthillian Spthanish. Between the three of them, they get the message across: Get Pandora, Juanita, and Ada! Do research on how to switch bodies back! Meet back here at dusk! Hopefully, one day is not too much for the demons in Slayer Club's bodies to do too much damage. Erik goes back to the surface and the Slayer Club demons all climb back up the rope and return to Pitsberg to find Sekket the Profound.

Bronzebottom and his friends are not welcome in Pitsberg. The guards nearly don't let them through, and this time they can't sneak around. Michael uses Snotstone's reputation and some sly threats to intimidate the guards into letting them pass. Once inside the town, though, Tori smells an ambush, not just the general stench. Slayer Club chooses their spot to break into a run, taking the ambushers by surprise. There's a fight around an overturned cart of manure (best not ask what animal it came from), which Drew jumps into and fails to get out again, until Sam pulls him out by the ankles. Now, he's covered in slick, oily sweat and manure. Not an improvement. Tori's blunderbuss takes out several attackers, and Joshua hamstrings several more. Slayer Club takes two crossbows from their downed foes and continues on to Sekket the Profound's Magical Emporium. They claim that the magic wands didn't work, and demand new ones. Sekket is suspicious, since Joshua and Drew do most of the talking, while Sam/Bronzebottom is strangely quiet and glowering. Even Michael's acting is slightly out of character, and he doesn't know things the Chief's torturer should know. Sekket shouts "Code 23!" (Get help!) to his Igor, who shuffles out the back. Slayer Club drops the pretense. When Sekket realizes that he has the Slayer standing in his shop, (even though he's not sure which one is Sam) he gets much more cooperative. He'd love to make more wands for them. He still has the one that was supposed to be Knuckle Nose's, before he met with the unfortunate accident involving a Chaos demon. But Sekket needs more of the special wood to make the wands. Joshua-demon runs off to his cross-town rival's store. The rival was very pleased to have sold a board of Whitethorn wood to Sekket, at a premium. Joshua evens the score by stealing a second board of Whitethorn out from under the rival's very long nose. Sam/Bronzebottom and Michael/Snotstone hustle Sekket out of his shop and everyone meets back at the 70s vampire lair. Sekket is pleased to find the vampires' stash of hash, an integral ingredient to the Wands of Transference, and sets to work under the watchful eyes of Dr. Gersham. Sam watches the cave entrance in case more demons come that way, while Michael takes a crossbow and goes down the other cavern. He spots two non-hippie vampires dressed in black leather and jeans, using a copy of Sam's high school yearbook photo as a dart board.

Hours later, four of the six wands are complete when the vampires that Michael is watching get alert. Someone is coming! They hide on either side of their cave door in wait. Erik is running full tilt down the corridor, followed by Michael's body, inhabited by Snotstone, the "special kind of evil" demon. A knife lodges in Erik's shoulder, and he goes down. Taking careful aim, with a prayer to El for steadiness, Michael/Snotstone shoots his own body in the head and raises the alarm. Sam, Tori, and Michael take three of the wands, and Drew and Joshua do Rock, Paper, Scissors for the last one. Drew wins. Michael transfers back to his own body, even though it's unconscious. Once inside, he can use his magic to begin healing himself. Tori gets her own body back, and kills Snotstone. Sam brains Bessie, the gun-toting demoness, before trying for her own. Unfortunately, Drew who was next on the draw, aims for his own body, but just as he fires Bronzebottom stumbles into the path of the bolt.

Drew's fondest wish has now come true. He's the Slayer, a real superhero! Using Sam's strength and reflexes, Drew lays waste around him, knocking out Dr. Gersham's body and killing the mixed up Bronzebottom/oily demon. Joshua's body turns and runs, but Joshua/helmet demon barrels into himself and knocks himself out. Sam shoots herself with the last wand, and switches with Drew. She now has her own body back, and Drew is in the flatulent body of Bronzebottom. Revenge is sweet! She puts Drew's body in a headlock so he can't run either, and everybody roll calls again, using the secret word "Il Fuego." After the dust settles, Sekket makes three more wands, so Joshua, Drew, and Dr. Gersham can get their own bodies back. First aid is done on Erik's wound, but nothing medically can be done to save Michael. He changes into his true form, so that the crossbow bolt can be removed and he can regenerate. Sekket is awed by the djinn, and Dr. Gersham, who didn't know Michael's secret before, does now.

Michael doesn't mind his fellow professor knowing what he really is, as long as Dr. Gersham promises to keep the secret as the rest of Slayer Club has done. But letting the demon wizard know is another story. If one demon knows, pretty soon, they all will know that the human, Michael Saiyer, who fights alongside the Slayer, is really a djinn, and the secret Michael has kept for three thousand years would be lost forever. After a moment's thought, Michael takes a silver dollar out of his pocket and approaches Sekket. He makes a little speech about how they are in his debt for making the wands, and the demon could use the coin to summon Michael, if he should ever need help. Michael tucks the coin behind the demon's batlike ear, pats him on the cheek, and suddenly snaps his neck. Honor takes a back seat in this case. The secret is kept.

Slayer Club piles the demons' bodies up in the middle of the 70s cavern, douses them with patchouli oil, and Tori sets them ablaze. Sekket, however, will get a decent burial in another part of the caverns. He helped willingly in the end, and didn't seem a bad sort, for a demon. As a final gesture, Sam writes a letter to the demon chief, telling how Snotstone and Bronzebottom conspired to attack the Slayer and her friends, and were destroyed. From some things Sekket mentioned, it seems that a faction of demons were working against the Chief, and had hatched this plot to use Slayer Club's bodies as war machines. Sam writes, "clean up your house, or we'll do it for you." She and Michael take the letter under a flag of truce to the guard post and give it to a royal courier to take to their chief. Hopefully, this will be the last Slayer Club will hear from Pitsberg.

5.6 The Book of Prophecy
Written and directed by Greg Pearson.
The events of this episode take place on Wednesday, November 9th and Thursday, November 10th, 1994.
Interminable Intro: It's the day after the 1994 Elections, and four days after Sam Kessler's 20th birthday. Joshua and Erik threw her a keg party, with half beer and half root beer, although not in the same glasses until at least one o'clock. Her father had a birthday cake delivered to St. Hubert's—angel food with chocolate frosting. Wednesday night, while studying for her Applied Theology course, Sam gets a phone call from Blaire. Some information has come her way, and for once, she's not shy about wanting to share it. For a price, of course. Although this has "TRAP" written in big letters, Slayer Club goes down to Blaire's to find out what's up. What's up is Blaire wants Slayer Club to collect on a debt for her. Some deadbeat vampires ran up a $50 bar tab, and for exactly $50, Blaire will gladly tell Sam where those six vampires have their lair. All in a LOUD VOICE, to make sure her customers get the real message—pay up, or the Slayer will get you. Sam rolls her eyes. Being Blaire's debt collector is icky. But they can't very well let the vampires get away, either. Sam doesn't have that much cash on her, but Joshua does. Blaire gets her money, and Slayer Club get an address of an abandoned farm down on Rte. 7. Of course, this could be a distraction for something else going on, but if they don't move now, these vamps could just leave town. So, Slayer Club gets to slaying. Joshua reconnoiters the house, the barn, and an empty tool shed, which is as ramshackle as a shed can be without actually collapsing. The vampires sit in the living room, listening to grunge music and watching Saved by the Bell. Joshua and Sam go in through the windows. Erik and Michael take the front door, while Tori and Drew take the back. Immediately, Sam and Joshua dust one-third of the vampires. Michael runs upstairs to see if there are any "midnight snacks" hidden there. Tori finds nothing but roaches and a half case of Pabst Blue Ribbon in the kitchen. Erik throws his hammer at one of the remaining vampires, dusts it on impact, and the thunder-boom blows out all of the house's windows, and flattens the shed a moment later. Upstairs is empty, as well as the outside root cellar, and there is no sign of anyone outside who might be watching, with a camera or otherwise. Michael is paranoid about discovery, but no one minds. When all the vamps are dead, Tori torches the house, barn, and what's left of the shed, controlling the fire so it doesn't spread.

On the way back to Solomon, Joshua spots a firefight on the side of the road. In the ditch, a dirt-brown Plymouth Valiant has weed butts in the ashtray and an 8-track playing the Doors "Riders on the Storm". Nearby in a field, a black BMW is stuck in the mud. Two men crouch behind the open doors, firing guns at five more figures circling the Beemer. Sam's vampire-sense tingles. Joshua roars his dirt bike across the field as a distraction. Sam and Tori fire crossbows and dust two vamps. Drew hits a third, but misses the heart. It runs away. Erik dusts a fourth with his hammer, blowing out all the windows on the Beemer. Joshua rides down the fifth vampire and decapitates him from his bike. Sam greets the men in the Beemer, who are Misha and Ivan, the Russian "traders" we last saw in Ep. 2.4. They were actually looking for Sam, since they have something they think would interest her: a large, illuminated tome filled with monkish script in a mixture Latin, Greek, and German. Mostly, the book is a surprisingly accurate prediction of World War II. But the pictures in the appendix are most interesting. Under the heading of "The Slayer" there's a picture of a wild, dark-skinned girl with white face-paint brandishing a sharp stake, labeled "The First". On the next page is a stylized picture of a blonde woman wearing dark blue trousers, a blue and black checked shirt, and carrying a sword. She's labeled "The Last." Misha: "We do business, yes?" Credits.

Slayer Club and the Russians go to the Sacred Grounds to do their haggling. Ivan and Misha are willing to trade the book, which they got in trade from a vampire in Switzerland for a crate of AK-47s, for Slayer Club's snow globe—Virmon's Orb of Confidential Conveyance, which will certainly enhance their arms smuggling business. Joshua counters that Misha can lease the orb, in exchange for the book and a percentage of the profits that they get from smuggling weapons, or whatever, in it. Misha doesn't like the idea of giving up part of their business, but he really wants the orb. In the end, the Russians get a six-year lease on the orb in exchange for the book and the contents of the Valiant's trunk, which were transferred from the Beemer: two AK-47s, a box of ammo, and an SA-18 shoulder-fired anti-aircraft missile. Tori's eyes light up. The Russians shake hands with everyone and then go off to break the bad news about the Beemer to Avis (good thing Ivan got the Loss/Damage Waiver!). Joshua drives the Valiant. Slayer Club stashes the weapons and book in the vault at the Brew Pub, where the magical wards were reset by Erik and Pandora, and then go to Blaire's to chase away all her customers and leave the Valiant wedged in a tree. It doesn't really make up for having been her goon squad, but it helps a little.

That night, Erik dreams of Gwen waking up, and slowly swinging her legs over the side of the bed, her red silk nightgown snaking over the covers in super-slo-mo. Sam dreams about her line of Slayers, ever shorter from the future end. She tells Kate about finding the book of prophecy, but that they need to translate it. Kate eats a piece of cheddar cheese. Michael wakes up Dr. Gersham, and they begin the work of translating the book, Appendices first.

On Thursday, Sam is preparing for her 11 AM Applied Theology class, and everyone else is already in their 10 AM classes, when all the magic-ward matchbooks go off at once. Sam runs for her car, parked in the student parking lot. Joshua dashes for his dirt bike. Michael quickly gives his students an assignment for a paper due the next class, and lets them out early. Slayer Club heads to the Brew Pub. The front door is open, and the vault as well. Joshua quickly closes it, without even looking inside, and then waits for the others to arrive before opening it again and seeing if he managed to trap anyone inside. Once everyone convenes, it's determined that the book of prophecy is missing, and most everything in the vault is thrown on the floor. The missile and Kalashnikovs are there, easily identifiable. Drew stays to organize the rest and make sure Mr. Barrows's chest with the Jewelry of the Apocalypse inside is still there and locked (it is). Sam and Joshua find oozy tracks in the vat room that lead, backward, to the door down into the demon's belly. Whoever took the book came in that way, and left through the front door, so they could have been in the pub for some time before the wards went off. No one ever thought of warding the inside door. Who would come in through a demon's colon? Sam goes to the hardware store to buy up enough concrete blocks, rebar, and cement to build a wall in front of the demon-belly door. She sees her father there, who is pleased to have only paid $100 for a low-mileage Plymouth Valiant with a bent axle. A real steal! Michael and Erik go to get Dr. Gersham and his hand-copied notes from the book. Tori goes to get Juanita to do her "find an object" Seeker spell (Sam's version only finds people). While Sam, Michael, and Joshua build he wall, Erik and Juanita make the compass that will point to the book. There's a moment of panic when Joshua wonders if the book is actually inside the demon, and they'll have to tear their wall down and re-build. But it's not. It's in the Witch Tunnels. Joshua and Tori take the AK-47s, but leave the missile in the vault.

Slayer Club finds six vampires in a lair in the tunnels. Four are asleep, but two are reading the prophecy book. Joshua and Michael shoot those two with bullets and crossbow, neither of which dusts them. Erik's hammer hits the desk they're sitting at, waking up the rest of the vamps. A quick flurry of battle, where half the vamps are dusted and Joshua grabs the book away. One of the vamps TKs the desk right into Joshua and Sam, knocking them down, and then the two readers run off down the hall, pursued by Michael, who is pursued by the remaining vampire-goon. Behind him, Sam, Drew, and Tori give chase. Joshua and Juanita stay behind to loot the vampires' lair, competing to see who gets the best stuff. Juanita gets a spellbook, but it's Joshua who finds the stash of weed, which he trades to her in exchange for letting them know what's in the spellbook. In the hallway, cue Bugs Bunny chase music. Michael tackles the nerdy-looking vampire who he already shot with a crossbow bolt, but he really wants to get the magical TK vampire, so Michael gets up and runs on. Sam klonks the nerdy vampire on the head to knock him out, and keeps running too. Tori comes up on the vampire, rubbing his head and looking for his glasses. She hits him on the head too, but still doesn't knock him out. Drew finally catches up and runs the vamp through with his rapier. The vampire goes to dust with an amazed look on his face. Up ahead, Michael tackles the TK vamp and takes him down, knocks him out for sure, and drags him back to the lair where Sam ties him to a futon frame that they lean against the wall. When the vampire comes to, they all question him, which works out about as well as it ever does. The vamp doesn't say much except that he made a map of the true demon's colon so they could get to the Brew Pub without raising alarm, and he wanted the book to give him an "edge" against the Slayer. So Sam gives him an edge, and dusts him.

When Slayer Club gets back to Martense, Dr. Gersham finishes his translation of the final prophecy in the appendix:

And it shall be,
Each time one falls another shall rise to take her place,
One following the next in an unbroken line down through history.

Until one shall arise in a land not yet known.
And she shall be tall and fair,
And a warrior such as few even of those who came before.
And the line shall end with her.

Epilogue: That night, outside JFK airport, a man in a business suit emerges from the International Arrivals door, and gets into a VW microbus. Driving it is the Karaoke-singing vampire from Ep 5.1, not in game-face. He appears as a gray-haired aging hippie with a loopy smile. "How was Geneva?" "Fine." "I should hope so, you were certainly there long enough." "The only thing those Russians would give me for the book was a case of Kalashnikovs. Do you know how hard it is to unload a case of Kalashnikovs in Geneva? Everybody has one! I finally traded it to a Norwegian biker gang for a kilo of weed. Not very good weed, either. How were things here?" "Perfect. Nearly. Thomas is dead, but I warned him to run. He didn't run fast enough. Still, the plan worked. The Slayer has the book, and she has no reason to believe we had any other purpose in invading her lair than to recover it."

5.7 I Dream of Genie
Written and directed by John Gianopolis.
The events of this episode take place on Sunday, November 13th and Monday, November 14th, 1994.
Previously on Slaying Solomon:

Michael's Voiceover: "For an age we traveled the world. Our paths kissed the waters and grazed the earth. The Sun heated our gales and the currents blew our flames over the earth. We answered the call of power to a dessert of sand..."

Michael battling the Efreet in Solomon when he first met Slayer Club; fade to Michael's body in the witch tunnels returning to Wind and Sand...

Michael's Voiceover: "With vengeance, fire, and wind I swept upon them, scouring the flesh from their bones with the waters of the Sahara..."

A sand storm scouring the warriors attacking Shu, leaving bleached bones and armor...

Michael's Voiceover: "I am named Milchamah Kashaph Saiyer, Warrior of the First Rank in the Temple of Light..."

Michael holding the second set of Iron Bands, found in an alternate Solomon...

Michael's Voiceover: "Internet white hat hacker handled 'Dodger', and to the teenagers of Solomon Massachusetts, Professor Saiyer."

Michael helping Sam with her Dream/Nightmare, speaking earnestly; fade to: standing in front of a blackboard with the word "Vampires" written on it. Slayer Club sitting in the front row of the classroom. Drew has his hand raised.

Michael's Voiceover: "To a trusted few, I am Djinn."

Sam Kessler goes to sleep Sunday night November 13th, still concerned about the Prophecy. About 3 am, she dreams the "I Dream of Jeannie" theme music. A deep voice, similar to Michael's says: "Slayer, I am imprisoned and can do much damage for my mortal master. Free me, and I will ensure your Professor Saiyer is also freed. Leave me in this prison and my Master will cause great damage to your world. I am easy to find..."

"Ultimate Cosmic Power, itty bitty living space."

Sam wakes up. "Gotta stop watching those Disney specials."

Roll Credits

Sam leaps out of bed to pull the Solomon map from her bookshelf and search her jewelry box for the medallion that Michael gave her. Drew groans when she turns on the light and puts a pillow over his head. When Sam casts her Seeker spell, a wall of ice blocks her. Great skill backed by immense power reverses her spell into an attack. Sam raises mental shields and the magic dissipates. Down the hall, Joshua's phone rings, waking him. He reaches for it, nearly falling out of his hammock, but rights himself at the last second. The word of the week is 'Tabernacle.' His mother is incensed. She rapid-fires questions about where he is, what he's done in the past twenty-four hours, especially what he's spent money on. Someone fast, good, and untraceable has hacked into the Archer family finances and drained their accounts, even the offshore one, which makes this a Federal investigation. Joshua promises to list every nickel spent on pizza and beer and call her back. Across campus, sirens wail. There's a fire in one of the administration buildings! Sam and Drew wake up Tori and go help extinguish the fire, which started in Michael's office. The Fire Marshall is puzzled. There's no sign of electrical short, or accelerants, or lightning. To Sam's Sight, the room glows with magic, similar to what blocked her Seeker, centered on what's left of Michael's desk. The metal desktop has two deep grooves, just where a man would rest his arms, lined with molten iron residue. A small Hebrew symbol is just visible, imprinted on one side, but there are no signs of human remains. Of course, there wouldn't be. Sam thanks the fire Marshall for his help. She, Drew, and Tori go to the Brew Pub to get Michael's spare set of armbands out of the vault, and then to his apartment to look for clues. Erik wakes up for his 6 AM yoga class, but Sam isn't there, and she loves yoga. Something must be up. After class, he goes to the Sacred Grounds for breakfast, and to see if the others have been in. Jonathan answers the phone and hands it to Erik. It's Robert Guerra, Michael's young protégé. The boy had an appointment with Prof. Saiyer for his magic lesson that morning, but the building was cordoned off. There were fire trucks! If something happened to Prof. Saiyer, maybe Robert could help. Erik agrees to meet Robert at the admin building and start looking. Meanwhile, Joshua has a hunch. The best hacker they know is Prof. Saiyer. If Michael wasn't involved in the hacking, maybe he could help find out who was. Joshua motorbikes over to Michael's apartment and breaks in, as he's done before in another universe. Michael's not there, but there's no sign of forced entry or foul play. On the way out, Joshua meets Sam, Drew, and Tori and they share information about the fire and the computer hacking. They all go to the Sacred Grounds for breakfast, just missing Erik.

In between classes, Slayer Club canvasses the town for clues. The Martense museum has an authentic genie lamp and a museum attendant named George who is very talkative, probably desperate for company, since the museum is often empty. George thinks the lamp probably once held a genie captive, but the magic's inactive now. Sam can see that he's right. The lamp is empty. Erik and Tori take Robert to check out antique stores. Solomon has quite a few. At one place, Erik finds a stupendously ugly green-crusted trident and buys it. He thinks it's cool. He's the only one. The shop has no genie lamps for sale. Several brass and crystal chandeliers, though. Next door, the Tiny Cottage Antique Shoppe has more esoteric stuff, and a proprietor with a thing for Dr. Who. One alcove has a subtle space-folding charm, so it's bigger on the inside than on the outside. There's even an authentic blue police-box in the corner. Erik is so enthused about this. He also finds a bag of magical rune stones and haggles a deal—$100 and a permanent protection vever for the store to guard against breaking things. But when they ask about genie lamps, the proprietor says that two weeks ago, two fellows calling themselves Hans and Franz came in and bought "every blessed and cursed lamp" he had. After Erik explains about the kidnapping and computer hacking, the proprietor agrees to help. Hans and Franz bought the lamps on credit from the 2nd National Bank of Solomon, which just got paid this morning. Joshua calls his mother and puts her on the trail of the thieves. After class, the Dean of Special Projects calls Sam into his office. He's very concerned about Professor Saiyer's disappearance and asks Sam if there is anything at all that she can add to help with the investigation. Sam neither confirms nor denies any conclusions about Michael's armbands, their method of destruction, or anything of that nature. She does tell the Dean that she and her friends are doing everything they can to find Michael, and he lets her go.

With the pictures of Hans and Franz from the Tiny Cottage security tapes, Sam casts another Seeker. They're at Blaire's. Slayer Club and Robert arm up and head over, but arrive too late. The Teutonic pair have already left, after trashing the place and beating Blaire to within an inch of her un-life, but they have threatened to return. Blaire hands over the keys to the bar and retreats to her lair to sulk, while Slayer Club stakes the place out. Joshua watches the road outside. Drew fires up the karaoke machine and sings Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." His voice isn't bad, but his choice of music lacks something—like taste. After a few minutes, the temperature in the bar drops to "frosty" and three ghostly figures coalesce. One of them holds up a red gem. Light lances out, focusing on Tori, painfully ripping her mind. The gem sucks a kaleidoscope of memories, thoughts, opinions, and conclusions, all about the Slayer. Sam draws the Kessler Sword and cuts the ghost's arm off. The ghost shrieks. Erik and Robert are stunned, but Drew grabs Erik's hammer and smashes the gem. As painful as the memory-wipe was, it's twice as painful snapping back. Tori just barely controls herself enough to avoid incinerating the whole bar. Sam cuts again and halves a second ghost. The third sinks through the floor into the witch tunnels. Sam runs after it, but all she finds is a cold spot in the air. The ghost vanished without a trace. Back inside, Erik and Robert cast a voodoo version of the Seeker spell, using Blaire's top shelf liquor. Rum to offer to the spirits, and a bottle of expensive vodka to spin and point the way. The bottle spins and comes to rest pointing towards Martense, just a little north of campus, before it shatters, spilling vodka everywhere. Joshua calls his mother again. From the bank records, she got an address that lies exactly on the vector they found. She also gives Joshua the go-ahead to terminate the source of the trouble. Erik casts a Ghost Shirt on Robert. He did promise Mrs. Guerra to keep her son safe, and this will help against any small, flying bits of metal.

The house is either abandoned or repossessed. There's a lot of that in Solomon. But now it's getting a lot of remodeling: a bobcat sits in the middle of the torn up lawn, reinforced doors and shatterproof windows still haven't been painted to match the rest of the house, and there's a security system as comprehensive as it is obvious to Joshua's trained eyes. But it's not perfect. There are two skylights, and several trees overhang enough that someone could jump onto the roof from them. While waiting for Joshua to scope the house, Tori spots Hans outside walking a dog, but with no pooper-scooper. Hans sees her and Sam, and gives a signal to start. Franz, from the second floor of the house, hits Sam in the torso with a shot from a sniper rifle. Robert raises one of his paper umbrella-shields to protect against Hans' submachine gun. Joshua jumps onto the roof. Sam throws her "Frisbee of doom" at Hans and Tori follows up with a crossbow shot. Erik and Drew take the bobcat and drive it through the garage door, smashing the red Corvette inside, and crushing a vampire who was working on it to dust. Joshua jumps through the window to find Franz reloading, and a vampire in game-face with a AA baseball uniform and carrying a baseball bat. Joshua shoots Franz in the head, producing a fine, red mist, and then does his mongoose-impersonation, avoiding and disarming the vampire. Joshua gets in a hit here, a hit there, until he stakes the baseball-vamp with the narrow end of his own bat. From the garage, Erik runs down to the basement, using a light-stick left over from the last rave he went to to see by. Drew pauses to flip on the overhead lights, then follows—it's less cool, but much more practical. Sam takes Robert by the hand into the garage before she retrieves her throwing ring, so he doesn't see Hans' body sliced open. With the crash through the garage, two vampires lurking upstairs run to see what happened. Joshua slips along the wall behind them, lets the first one run by, pushes the second one down the stairs and stakes him at the bottom. Down in the basement, Erik finds a fully equipped laboratory with a huge lab table with cabinets under it, and a storage room filled with crates. One section of blank wall radiates strong magic. Robert draws a sliding door there with his magic chalk, and before anyone can stop him, slides it open. A blast of frigid cold knocks the boy backwards into the boxes. George from the museum steps through the wall with a tiny genie lamp, which radiates strong, active magic, on a chain around his neck. Itty-bitty living space. Sam confronts George, and he admits that, yes, he bound a djinn in his necklace. It made him rich, and powerful, and now it will destroy them! Sam grabs the chain, which pulls George off his feet. A sandstorm blows up, scouring the Slayer's skin. She covers her eyes and holds on, strangling George while Tori and Drew beat him senseless. Sam removes the necklace and rubs it. The last vampire runs down the stairs as the djinn forms out of clouds of smoke: a giant, powerful man with red skin and fiery eyes. The vamp stops short and tries to sneak away but Joshua comes up behind and stakes him. The djinn names Sam as his new Master, and offers her three wishes. Sam only has one: to know exactly who or what is removing Slayers from the future probabilities. But that is beyond the Djinn's knowledge, so she wishes that he go free, and free Professor Saiyer as he promised in her dream. The Djinn winks at her and vanishes in a swirl of sand. The iron bands vanish from Sam's backpack. Slayer Club finds Professor Saiyer, bound and gagged, stuffed in one of the large cabinets under the lab table. His spare armbands are on his wrists and he's very pleased that they found him. Besides renovating the house and filling it with electronic toys, who knows what George might have done with $30 million. Joshua's eyes bug out. His parents started the day with ten million, parlayed from the sale of diamonds and real estate over the last four years. Michael invested well. Sam carries Robert, stunned and chilled but alive, to the infirmary while Joshua loots the house of everything he can carry. After all, it was his family's money that bought the stuff. Slayer Club even has a new place to call their "Secret Lair." Except, like the all rest of their secret lairs, it's not actually very secret.

Epilogue: Another airport pickup in the 70s VW microbus; this time, a slick-looking man in a pinstriped suit. He and the driver (karaoke-vamp) discuss George, who was applying for employment at Wolfram & Hart before meeting his untimely demise. The official story was: George kidnapped Prof. Saiyer, an expert in computers, and forced him to hack the Archers' accounts. Saiyer left each hack signed with his handle "Dodger," in binary code (Joshua's mother noticed this) and that pointed the Federal Investigators to George's bank account in Solomon, and then his home address. Meanwhile, George's hired guns were getting restless. Even with a generous salary paid in advance, they wanted more money, and killed their employer to get it. Unfortunately for them, by that afternoon the bogus accounts were busted and the money returned with interest courtesy of the Dow Jones. Officially, Slayer Club was never there. No neighbors would come forward witnessing five college students and a preteen anywhere on that street. Nobody heard any gunfire. And the Dean of Martense would swear they were all working on a special project for him at the time. However losing George, even with his pet djinn "foolishly released," doesn't faze the suit at all. There's a new marker in play. The boy, Robert Guerra, showed remarkable promise. Just let him age a bit, so he might be harvested at the right time.

5.8 Octopus Prime
Written and directed by Chris Roosenraad.
The events of this episode take place on Wednesday, November 23rd, 1994.
Previously, on Slaying Solomon: The Saga of Erik and Juanita, beginning with him asking her to pose for him to draw her, and her boa constrictor, in art class; Juanita, seething with jealousy, watching Erik embrace Jennifer at the airport; Erik (as Juanita) confronting herself as the demon's wish is revoked and he gets his own shape back; Erik drawing Juanita as a snake-goddess on his dorm room wall; dancing together at a Halloween party, and at a rave, and at the Sacred Grounds. Then, a montage of everyone who's ever smacked Erik upside the head: Sam, Tori, Drew, Erik smacking himself in the forehead (Doh!) and a whole bunch of clips of Juanita smacking Erik, from all sides.

Thanksgiving weekend is upon Martense. There are no classes on Thursday or Friday and most students go home to spend the holiday with their families. A black SUV with tinted windows picks up Joshua to go home to see his "Family". The rest of Slayer Club decides to have a Thanksgiving dinner party at St. Hubert's for their friends who hail from farther away. Magnus arranges with Buildings and Grounds and borrows a backhoe to prepare his contribution: a stone-lined fire-pit to roast the meat. Xiu Mei will bring stir-fried veggies; Mari, the rolls. Tony mixes up a green bean casserole with onion straws. Drew can boil corn on the cob. Michael prepares baklava and Turkish coffee. Tori and Mrs. Clark choose the beverages: good wine and quality soft drinks. Erik volunteers to make stuffing (from a can). Juanita makes mashed plantains. Sam and Mr. Kessler bring three kinds of pie: pumpkin, cherry, and apple. Ada is thrilled to be invited, and brings cranberries and applesauce. Pandora brings homemade scones. With Michael doing the shopping, he can write off the expense as a faculty/student dinner event, and the college will pay for it. Wednesday after the last classes, Juanita storms into St. Hubert's and collars Erik. She's pissed and wants to take it out on his room, which is filthy, as usual, and she's not going to take it anymore. First thing, she seizes the ugly trident and throws it out, tines first. It sticks deep in the wall opposite Erik's door and quivers. Then, she forces Erik to sort and put away his almost clean laundry. Everything that's decomposing gets dumped in the trash. While Erik acquaints himself with the vacuum cleaner, Juanita alternately harangues him for being a slob, and the Dean of Special Projects for putting her on academic probation. She hasn't been to class or completed any assignments since September 23rd, when Slayer Club found the Dragon caves in western Texas. Juanita returned there to bask, at first only on weekends, but now as much as she can. She just loves it. The pure power! Why shouldn't she? Frustrated with Erik's lack of progress in cleaning, Juanita storms out of the dorm, yelling at someone to get out of her way. There's a bright flash of blue-green light and silence that doesn't bode well.

Someone knocks on St. Hubert's front door and asks to see Erik Sorensen. Poseidon himself wants his trident back. Sam yanks it out of the wall and Erik hands it over, without asking for anything in return, so the god of the seas grants him a boon. When he understands that Juanita—the rather testy young woman who yelled at him and pushed one of his Nereids down—is Erik's girlfriend, Poseidon feels badly about sending her—somewhere. Erik wants to get her back. That's his boon. The god waves his trident and Erik, Drew, Sam, Tori, and Michael are engulfed in blue-green light. When the light fades, they find themselves standing on a sunny hillside in the middle of an olive grove. Sam and Tori are wearing Amazon armor and weapons: bronze breastplates with leather skirts, helmets, and sandals, round wooden shields, spears, and short swords. Tori's shield has a device of a flame, while Sam's has a stylized diagram of a car's engine. Drew and Erik are dressed in one-shoulder belted tunics, sandals, and cloaks. Drew has a recurved short bow and quiver of arrows. Erik has a tall, plumed helmet, a curved iron sword with a sharp inner edge, and a round shield of polished brass, shiny as a mirror. Michael is dressed as an Egyptian warrior with a pleated linen skirt, a bronze collar-breastplate, and a kopesh sword. Both Michael and Drew have beards, Michael's wrapped in the Egyptian style, and Drew's a bit patchy across the jaw. Erik's beard is curly and blond, and when he tries to remove his helmet, it catches on his hair – thick, lustrous, curly blonde hair that gleams in the sunlight and ripples exactly right in the wind. Perfect hair. His chest is covered with a thick pelt of it too, and he seems to be oiled all over. Erik is the very model of an ancient Greek hero.

Slayer Club sets off to the nearest town, on the coast down the hill from the olive grove. There's a party going on: King Polydectes is getting married! When Slayer club arrives, Michael pulls a wineskin of Metaxa out of his pocket and Erik offers to draw and tell a story to the crowd. He draws pictures of Slayer Club in Greek Urn style, and tells the story of fighting Britta, "the Hell-goddess Bitch"—the first Big Bad that Slayer Club faced together. Erik's artistic talents impress King Polydectes and his bride Danae, but the story of heroes slaying monsters doesn't fit with the theme of the party—horses. Everyone else brought them horses, fine leather tack, saddles, and chariots. What did these newcomers bring to the party? Erik offers to make a more permanent drawing, a fresco of horses, to give the king and his bride. The king says he will think about it, and offers Slayer Club the hospitality of his house for the night. Those names—Drew remembers Michael's classes in Greek Mythology. Danae was Perseus's mother, and Zeus was supposed to be his father. Polydectes was a king Perseus visited on the eve of his wedding, but Perseus didn't bring a gift. That was how he got the quest to kill Medusa in the first place. Here, things aren't exactly as they were in the story. There's no Perseus, but Erik's hair is perfect. The party lasts all night. In the morning, the king calls Erik before him and accepts the offer of a fresco painting, etched in the most rare of inks: Gorgon blood. Erik's task is to get that blood. But Slayer Club already has a quest: to find Juanita and get home. The king gives them a small fishing boat and some supplies for the journey. Slayer Club goes to the temple of Poseidon and makes a sacrifice: wine and Egyptian beer, and a ram, which Erik kills and draws a sketch of Juanita's face with its blood. He asks Poseidon to show them the way to find "Juanita Madera, my girlfriend." Specificity is key. Outside the temple, a line of seagulls points their beaks to the west. When Slayer Club sets sail, the seagulls fly alongside. At dusk they reach a small island, devoid of animal life, but covered in golden apple trees. No one, even Erik, is foolish enough to touch those apples. They gather driftwood for a fire and sleep in shifts. Nothing happens overnight except dreams. Erik's dream is the same as ever. Gwen gets up from the bed and faces him and takes a step toward him, before he wakes up. Sam's dream also doesn't change, except the future line is still shorter. There is still a comforting distance from the end of the line to Kate, but the fact that they're still disappearing frustrates her. Instead of the future, Sam looks into the past and finds Alcestis, the ancient Greek Slayer that Michael once knew.

In the morning, they find a cottage at the high point of the island, and three old women walking single-file. The first one squints at the path while the other two follow with one hand on the shoulder of the woman in front. Erik steps out and greets them, asking what he can do for them. The old women confer, trading their single eye back and forth. They agree: Erik is cute. They love the hair! They want a boon, but not from him, from Tori. A favor in exchange for a question answered. Drew thinks a favor from the Goddess of War is worth more than a single answer, and they negotiate the old women up to three questions. Erik asks: where is Juanita Madera? How can we rescue her? The women nod. Juanita can be found on the coast of Ethiopia, bound to a cliff-face, food for a sea monster. She can be rescued if the monster is slain and her shackles broken, but he must hurry. Sam asks the third question: Who or what is the threat that removes Slayers of the future from the line? The women confer. One of them points to Sam's left. "What do you see there?" Drew and Erik both stand beside her. Not who, what. They indicate Erik, her friend, a hero, his fluffy hair, Greek outfit, and shiny weapons. "Look closer. What do you see there, in the polished surface?" Erik holds up his shield and Sam looks, to see her own reflection. She can't believe it, but the women have answered her question. They'll be in touch with Tori to claim their boon later. Slayer Club sets sail, south-southwest toward Africa. Not the modern country of Ethiopia. To the ancient Greeks, any part of North Africa that wasn't Egypt was Ethiopia. They spend a week at sea, eating fish and swimming in the warm water. They spot land again at a small town east of Carthage and make another sacrifice to Poseidon in thanks for the peaceful sea crossing. Erik carves driftwood into a hippocampus—a horse with a fishtail—and burns it on the altar. Poseidon's statue speaks. A day's travel to the west they will find Juanita tied to a rock, unwillingly playing the part of Andromeda. The monster that comes for her is vast—larger than anything Slayer Club has ever faced before. Erik asks around town about gorgons. That's how Perseus killed the Krakken, after all. Fortuitously, the local area is indeed troubled by such a monster. Slayer Club goes to visit the local king, who offers a rich reward—and his daughter's hand in marriage—to anyone who brings him the head of the gorgon.

The next day, Slayer Club goes gorgon hunting. Erik has his shiny shield, and Sam can fight blind, so they go into the gorgon's cave, while the others wait outside in case the gorgon comes out. The gorgon's lair is dotted with stone columns and statues of previous heroes who came here trying for treasure, fame, or the king's daughter's hand in marriage. Some fell where they were petrified and shattered on the floor. Sam blindfolds herself and puts one hand on Erik's shoulder. He keeps his own eyes on his shield, and they move cautiously, listening and checking each corner in the mirrored surface. Erik spots the gorgon, and she looses an arrow that shatters on the stone. Erik flings a stone and flushes out the gorgon. She fires again. Sam and Erik split up to flank the monster. Sam swings her long spear and connects. The gorgon strikes with her tail, but Sam feels the rush of wind and jumps over it. With the deadly gaze turned in the Slayer's direction, Erik lines up his sword-swing on the gorgon's neck and puts everything he has behind it. Both Sam and Erik spring away, avoiding the acid blood. Erik stuffs the gorgon's head into his helmet, and then into a sack. Only then does Sam untie her blindfold, and they high-five and hug. They gather an amphora of the gorgon's blood and go get their friends. Slayer Club sails to the next town up the coast, and finds Juanita there, just as promised. Sam and Michael break the shackles that hold her to the rocks. Erik climbs up to the highest point. When the sea-monster appears, it's not a kraken, but a giant octopus. Each of its eight legs the length of a football field, the eyes as wide as Erik is tall. The better to see you – and your petrifying gorgon-head – with. When the octopus turns to stone, it shatters and falls into the sea. The villagers are relieved, but Juanita wants to make them all pay for what they did to her. Erik manages to talk her down long enough to get her on the boat, but he's not going to have any peace for a while. Juanita is impressed at how far he went to rescue her (at least until she learns about the king's daughter), and that blonde hair is absolutely perfect. Unfortunately, there's no privacy on board the small boat. They take the gorgon's head back to king #2, and use the reward treasure to commission a new temple to Poseidon, which Erik designs, and give the princess a bigger dowry, so she can marry whoever she wants. They take the gorgon's blood back to King Polydectes, where Erik etches a '70s van-art style Pegasus on the wall of the throne room. The king is entranced and declares it his favorite wedding gift of all. Back at the temple of Poseidon, Erik makes one more sacrifice of wine and ram's blood and asks the god if they can all come home now. Blue-green light engulfs them, and Slayer club arrives back at St. Hubert's about five minutes after they left. Poseidon is enjoying a glass of "Hubie Lager" with Magnus, and accepts the invitation to join their Thanksgiving feast. Everyone at St. Hubert's sits down to eat. Poseidon and his Nereids at one end of the table, Tori at the other, with a huge pile of roasted lamb in the middle. Sam scoops up a fingerful of gravy, like Thomas in Da Vinci's "Last Supper." After dinner, they go bowling. Once he gets the flow of it, Poseidon and Tori ring up the all-time highest score ever.

5.9 Heroes and Bards
Written and directed by John Gianopolis.
The events of this episode take place on Friday, December 9th and Saturday, December 10th, 1994.
Friday, Dec. 9th 1994, 5:30 AM—Erik gets up for his 6 AM yoga class and heads to the shower, holding his towel slung low around his hips (for ratings). Passing the common room, he hears an announcement on the radio: "This weekend, two days only. It's Solo-Con! Solomon's first-ever comic book convention!!!! Coming to the Orchards. Three special guests: you know him! You love him. It's "The Man" himself, chief artist and founding father of Marvel Comics! Also, (garbled) famous writer from the Roseanne show and Murder She Wrote, but better known as the creator of the movie (garbled) about the ass-kicking blonde bombshell with the funny name! And also appearing, Paul Reubens. Erik grabs the doorframe of the common room, "Why didn't I know about this!?!" His towel falls to the floor. Roll credits.

In yoga class, Erik can't concentrate. Too excited. Stan Lee himself is coming to Solomon! Which comics should he take to get signed? Even Sam has trouble reaching the Zen state, and she doesn't care about comics. Arguments break out about who's stepping on whose mat. Tempers are short. And it's not just in yoga class. Breakfast has no fewer than three food fights with bagels-as-projectile weapons. Drew and the rest of the Solomon gaming club heard the news, so Slayer Club's table is swarmed with excited comic book fans and talk of comic books dominates the conversation. Joshua and Sam both roll their eyes and catch extra bagels flying past them. Sam also snags half a tub of cream cheese. After class, Mail Call! Erik gets a letter on Orchards stationary and nearly has a coronary when he opens it. It's an invitation to dinner, in handwriting he knows very well from the replies Stan Lee writes to his fan mail. Erik, and "any of his associates who wish to come," are invited to dine at a private table with the artist. Drew, of course, wants to go, and Sam will go with him. Tori wouldn't mind meeting someone that famous. Joshua, however, wouldn't be caught dead at that table. He and Magnus go out cruising for chicks instead, although it's more like Magnus cruising for chicks and Joshua being ignored nearby. Pandora calls Drew. She's all excited about the convention and her chance to really experience this part of American culture. Drew invites her to come to dinner with them, but he doesn't tell her whom they'll be meeting. When Sam returns to her room, there's a young-looking vampire wearing both belt and suspenders with his white shirt and khakis sitting beside her door. "Truce!" The vampire, Steve, asks for her pardon for himself and some of his friends. They want to go to the convention, but they don't want to get staked. He has a list of names. They promise to be on their best behavior. No snacking on anyone at the convention. And he has info for her. Blaire gives her info and doesn't get staked. Maybe they can do the same. He tells Sam that there's something new in Solomon. He doesn't know exactly what it is, but it's making people mad. It's making vampires mad, too. A lot of them have killed each other, or left town. If it weren't for the convention, he'd leave too. But he really, really wants to go get his comics signed and buy new ones, and wear his "mask" openly like everyone else. Sam scans the list of a dozen names, and reluctantly gives her promise—for forty-eight hours, these fan-vampires have amnesty from her. She won't kill them, as long as they don't bite anyone.

At the Orchards, the bartender who saw Drew blow up Grant Barrows with a hand grenade is now working the front desk. When he sees Drew walk in, he calls security and immediately goes on his "Getting the heck out of here" break. Security almost doesn't let Drew in, but the letter and the artist's assurances allow Drew access to the dining room—that's all. Every one of the front desk staff, the bellboys, and the concierge go on their break at the same time. Dinner is good food and conversation with the man who spent his life creating heroes for young people to emulate and villains for the heroes to fight. Recently, he had dinner with Frank Miller, with whom Erik studied in New York a couple of summers ago. Frank had mentioned a certain situation that Erik and his friends had helped with, so Mr. Lee came to Solomon, with two purposes: to talk about comics and to meet the team that helped rescue Papa Duchampe and calm things down in the Big Apple. Halfway through the meal, the guest of honor is no longer "Mr. Lee" but simply "Stan" because of how down-to-earth he is and how quickly everybody is comfortable in his presence. Sam notices in her Sight that Stan glows, not as strongly as a mage, but with an aura of hope and wishing to share his vision of a better world with others. Stan is "in between jobs" right now, leaving Marvel, but he thinks he might have an idea for a new line of comics, just around the corner. He's very interested in Erik's art, and might have a job offer him when things get a little more stable at this new place. That's if Erik isn't going into politics like his grandfather. (Heck no!) In fact, there's going to be an art contest on Sunday, with first prize being a chance to work with Stan on his new project. He's looking for new, young talent to build up a new comic book team, separate from the titans of the past. Stan is concerned that something is going on in the comic book industry at large. That's why he left. They said it was "creative differences" but it really was about the darker hue bleeding into the comics, all over the place, not just at Marvel. It took over DC comics first, and seems to be epidemic. Nasty stuff. Stan doesn't know what it is specifically, but if it's some kind of malign influence, he thought if he brought the comics here to Solomon, that might flush it out. Because malign influences seem to congregate here. Pandora pipes up. "That would be the Hellmouth." They explain what a Hellmouth is, and the conversation goes mystical. After dessert, Stan gives Erik a dozen VIP passes for their friends and Slayer Club returns to campus, nodding politely to Paul Reubens and the writer who share a table nearby.

At the convention, everyone but Joshua goes in costume. Sam and Tori wear "fantasy armor" from the Brew Pub and a couple of long wigs from the theater department to dress as a certain dark-haired barbarian princess and her blond, quarterstaff-wielding sidekick. That way Sam can carry her sword and "Frisbee of Doom" and be right in character. Erik is Mighty Thor from the comics, with hammer, pointy helmet, and annoying speech pattern. He sets up a table in the Merchants' Room where he draws caricatures of people and takes appointments for custom portrait work. Drew pores over the New Mutants, his favorite comic, before deciding to dress as Richter, who causes earthquakes and has great hair (and who once dated Wolvesbane, the heroine who happens to look exactly like Melina, but we won't go into that...). Magnus goes as a "typical college student" in Martense sweatshirt and jeans. That's a costume for him. Joshua wears a tuxedo with top hat and tails and sets up a table next to Erik's where he does legerdemain tricks and three-card Monte. In a bad mood after being chewed out by the Dean for repeatedly missing his own classes and letting them out early to go save the world, Michael appears as Ming the Merciless. At various times throughout the convention, fights break out between fans dressed as Klingons and Romulans, Batman and the Joker, and Superman and Lex Luther. Even Tori takes a swipe at Sam when the Slayer tries to break up some of these fights. What is she doing, horning in on Tori's turf? This is war, is fighting, is, well, slap-fests sometimes, but it's still war after all! And Tori is the goddess of war. She has followers who worship her! But, no. Sam has to be the princess, and Tori is the sidekick! So, Tori gives Sam a side-kick, which Sam avoids and spins her around, just in time to catch Tori's flying elbow, and redirect her again. Almost instantly, the crowd forms a ring around them, oohing and aahing to watch the Slayer and goddess spar. The vampires are cheering for the Slayer. Other fans are cheering for Tori. Erik and Drew stare dreamily. Sure, Sam and Tori are their friends, but when they're dressed like that, showing off all their muscles... Drew thinks he maybe should be jealous of the way Erik is staring at Sam, too, but that would mean he'd have to take his eyes off of her. Erik thinks "this is a fight for the ages. I should draw this." And he does. When Sam gets Tori in a standing pin and quietly talks her out of her red-eyed state, they take a bow together. That makes the crowd even more excited. Erik comes out of his drawing-trance, and realizes that he's drawn two figures over in the corner that he can't actually see. One of them is distinctive—a six-foot tall man, dressed in an Armani suit, with a six-foot wide rack of antlers, draped with shining tendrils of slime. A chaos-demon. They've heard about those, but never actually seen one. Beside it stands a shorter, stooped man in a black robe like Emperor Palpatine. In the drawing, a ray of dark energy spears out of this one's aura and focuses on the fighting, especially on Tori. Michael sees what Erik has drawn, and goes over to that corner, sweeping through that space with his falchion. A large curtain falls on Michael, a complete pratfall, and the Chaos demon waves at him. The dark figure vanishes.

In the Orchards's bar, another fight breaks out, over exactly what goes into a Pangalactic Gargle Blaster, and whether the drink is "cannon" or not. Joshua tries to do the "blasé anti-hero" thing and pick up his drink as someone slides down the bar, but these are comic book fans. The guy on the bar is only pushed hard enough to slide halfway down. Joshua sighs, reaches, and throws him the rest of the way down the bar, then finishes his drink. He doesn't have the Sight, but Joshua knows how to case a joint. In the very corner where he would stand if he wanted to survey this room, there's a shadow not cast by any object or light source. Joshua deliberately lets someone shove him into that corner, trying to catch what he assumes in an invisible demon, but instead slips on a puddle of beer and lands in another puddle of chaos-demon goo. The chaos-demon gives Joshua a little salute. This time, the demon is not alone. Two hellhounds leap to attack Joshua. His mongoose-impersonation works well on vampires with baseball bats. Not so well on hellhounds with lots of sharp, pointy teeth when there's a roomful of fighting and an amused chaos-demon tweaking the laws of physics. Still, the antlered demon is impressed with Joshua's fashion sense—they're both wearing Armani. At one point, he slips his goo-covered card into Joshua's pocket. His name is George.

Erik follows the sounds of fighting into the bar, and his hammer slips out of his hand. The kaboom shatters all the windows, Tiffany lamps, and the etched mirror above the bar. However, none of the bottles behind the bar break. George wants another drink. Someone picks up a bottle of Glen Morganie and throws it, right into George's catcher's mitt-sized paw. Joshua and Michael tangle with the two hellhounds. Erik spots the robed figure, conducting the fight like a puppet-master. Erik runs and slam-tackles him, but when he looks into the demon's face, he nearly jumps right off again. Slayer Club has seen a lot of demons with a lot of severe disfigurations over the years. This one seems to have all of them. Boils. Blisters. Cracked red and black suppurating sores. Three horns under the black hood, in no particular symmetry, and the demon's features, even the horns, move around as his ichor bubbles to the surface. Yuck doesn't even begin.

Sam and Tori run in to help Erik. The vampire-fans act as Secret Service to Stan, covering him from wayward punches, kicks, and flying objects. Together, the artist, writer, actor, and fan-vampires herd the mundane combatants out of the bar so Slayer Club can have a clear shot at the demon in the corner. Sam uses the flat of her blade, swinging toward the dark space in Erik's arms, channeling her sword to dispel the magic making it invisible. But it doesn't work. The blow doesn't even seem to hurt it, but Sam gets a good look at it and swallows hard to keep from blowing chunks. Tori's quarterstaff over the head fazes the demon somewhat, but not nearly as much as it should have. Tori swings with all her might, missing Erik, hitting the demon, but then immediately backs off. All the bottles of rail booze, highest in proof, fly out of the bar and splash all over Tori, preventing her from using her fire powers. She's fireproof, but the rest of the room isn't. Granted, it's been a while since Slayer Club has trashed the Orchards, but hey don't want to destroy it completely. The demon slips out of Erik's clutches and vanishes again. Michael kills one of the hellhounds, and Joshua subdues the other one, forcing it onto its back, throat exposed. Joshua wants to adopt it and name it Fluffy. Michael pulls out a muzzle, collar, and leash from his pocket.

All the mess pleases George. He's been hanging out with the Fury for a while now. Where it goes, fights break out. Fights, while not exactly George's favorite activity, do tend to increase chaos, so the Fury is a fun guy to hang out with. Not too talkative, though. More the muttering type. Joshua asks George some questions. Sure. They drove into Solomon on Thursday, in a gray Mercedes, the only kind of car that can stand up to the chaos for long. "Oops. Distributor cap problems." George laughs. "Good luck with fighting him, though. That never works for anyone." He moseys out with the bottle of scotch under his arm. Tori agrees about the futility of fighting. She hit the Fury, and it absorbed all her anger and only seemed to get stronger. She can't fight it, since she can't divorce herself from the anger of war. Stan gives her his room key, so she can go wash the alcohol off. Drew offers to pay Joshua fifty dollars to kill the Fury demon. Michael pulls Joshua's favorite sniper rifle out of his pocket. Now that this is a business transaction, Joshua can act without any emotion at all. From the Orchards roof, Joshua shoots through the Mercedes, perforating the Fury, and the gas tank, and then setting a spark that engulfs the car in flame.

Afterwards, Stan, Paul, and the writer from the Roseanne show celebrate with Slayer Club. The art show on Sunday goes without a hitch. No more fighting, and Stan makes his job offer to Erik official. The guest-writer corners Sam and some of the fan-vampires and interviews them extensively. The movie did not go as well has he'd hoped, but maybe with their input, he could write a second one and make it better. More realistic. Maybe Sam would take a minor role? She shakes her head. She's got more than enough jobs to worry about. But half of the dozen fan-vampires move to SoCal to become creative consultants and assistant producers for the writer's next work. The rest of the fan-vampires go back to New York before their amnesty runs out.

In the morgue under Xavier's funeral home, where the body of the Fury demon was taken, it's burned husk twitches. One hand clenches into a fist. When Mr. Xavier arrives to do the autopsy, the body is gone.

5.10 Slayer for a Night
Written and directed by Jodi Roosenraad.
The events of this episode take place on the night of Wednesday, December 21st and the early morning of Thursday, December 22nd , 1994.
Previously, on Slaying Solomon: "The Ballad of Sam and Drew"
Kitty's finger slides down Drew's face. Sam steps between them. "He's with me."
Slayer Club walks down the street, covered in sewer-muck. Sam mumbles, "So, um, you want to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance? I mean, with me?"
Drew squeaks, "Yes!"
Sam and Drew walk up to an abandoned house. "Last chance to back out." "Nope. You?" "Nope." Together, they open the door to Sam's Cruciamentium.
Drew watches Sam sleep on a sofa at the Brew Pub: "I love you Samantha Kessler."
Sam and Drew sit on Sylvia's bed, nervously looking at the crucifix on the wall.
Sam kneels in confessional: "Forgive me, Father for I have sinned."
Drew hesitates a vital moment before attacking vampire-Vivian, vampire-Britta, Nazi-Anna, and vampire-Sam.
Erik: "Of course you do. You love all Slayers."
Sam: "I can't be sleeping with you anymore."
Drew: "The only time I feel safe, is when we're together."
Sam: "Maybe we could try an experiment, just to see what happens."
Fight with the goblin-demons. Drew briefly switches bodies with Sam.
Joshua VO: "Sometimes a wand is just a wand."
Dr. Gersham VO: "And sometimes, it's a prelude to shenanigans."

A velvet-draped room lit by witch-light. Three men sit around a table with a large red crystal set in a pewter stand. Above the crystal projects an image of Slayer Club fighting ghosts at Blaire's. One of the ghosts sucks Tori's memories into a similar red crystal, until Sam cuts the ghost's arm off and Drew smashes the crystal with Erik's hammer.
One man sighs. "Such a pity. Victoria has known the Slayer since before she became the Slayer. Her memories would have been very useful."
Another man touches the crystal, pointing out Drew, Erik, and Joshua. "There are others who have known her as long."
"But girls have a special bond. The Slayer would tell her girl friend things that she would not tell even her lover. Pity she doesn't go to a hair stylist."
The third man laughs. "However, there might be another option."
Roll credits.

Tori gets in some last minute Christmas shopping. She has something for almost everyone, but what does one get for the leader of your minion army? It has to be special, but not too expensive, and tacky enough to appeal to his demon sensibilities, a real challenge to her shop-fu. And then she has to stop in at the mall's tool and knife store; just to look, of course. While Tori shops, Sam and Drew go to the Sacred Grounds for sparring practice. It feels good to work out together: advance and feint, thrust and parry. After bench-pressing their entire weight-set, Sam gives Drew an early Christmas present in a small box. Drew is flustered. He doesn't have her present handy, but Sam urges him to open the box anyway. Inside are two wooden wands, like the goblins used, but made by Dr. Gersham. Drew is even more flabbergasted. She actually wants to switch bodies with him? All in the interest of science and curiosity—Sam wants to see where the Slayer-power resides, in the body or the soul. So, if Drew is game? (Heck yeah!) Sam writes out an incantation with a time limit, just in case something happens to the second wand. "From sunset to sunrise, let Slayer see through Seer's eyes. Let Seer slay in Slayer's guise. Amen." Flash of light.

Drew opens his eyes with a dizzy feeling of deja vu. He's now four inches taller, maybe thirty pounds heavier, and that tightness around his chest is Sam's sports-bra! Drew can't believe it. He's the Slayer! For the next twelve hours, anyway. In his body, Sam grins up at him. They take their shinais and practice again. With different reflexes, reach, and footwork, Sam gets winded more easily, while Drew over-checks to avoid smacking his body upside the head. Eventually, their fighting smoothes out and gets comfortable again. They test the Kavanaugh Rapier and Kessler Sword against inanimate targets. Drew accidentally decapitates the sparring dummy. Ada calls down to make sure they're all right. All right is right! Time to go hunting! Upstairs, they encounter Professor Malion, who asks Sam about the changes she recently made to her dragon-sculpture. Drew stumbles through an explanation, while Sam struggles not to laugh. Prof. Malion shakes hands with "Drew," but his dreamy eyes are mostly on the Slayer, which is giving Drew some funny feelings. On the one hand, the professor is quite handsome, and has that pheromone-thing going for him. On the other hand, Drew is definitely straight (now lesbian?) If he were in his own body, he'd smack that smarmy professor for looking at Sam that way! With an effort, Drew keeps this to himself while Prof. Malion offers him a spot in a J-term sculpture seminar focusing on scrap metal, which he knows is Sam's preferred material. "Sam" thanks him and Slayer and Seer leave. Meanwhile, Tori finishes her shopping triumphant, having found the perfect yellow and black tartan sash with a big, green brooch for Lenth and a selection of gaudy medals to award her officers. She, Erik, Juanita, and Joshua go to the Vastarley's house for the Solstice celebration. Kevin is back in town with a new girlfriend, Genevieve, and her twin sister Morgan. Morgan eagerly dances with Joshua (she's not from around here), while thirteen-year old Ilia hugs Erik. She's so glad to see everyone! The coven arrives, including Cora, quietly talking with someone who's invisible, and Sylvia with a gift of very old, very good, wine for the Vastarleys. There's a bonfire in the backyard with a drum-circle, and a folk-rock band in the living room. Erik and Juanita begin DJ-ing in the parlor. And none of the neighbors mind, because they're all here, too.

In an alley outside the Sacred Grounds, Sam and Drew find a vampire gang. Just what Drew was hoping for! One of them taunts "Sam." "Hey, Slayer! We hear you have a thing for nerds, so we brought our little brother!" The boy-vampire has glasses and bad acne even in game face. Sam raises Drew's crossbow and fires, dusting the diminutive vamp. Drew swings. The Kessler sword bites deep, severing the bigger vampire's neck. With the explosion of dust, Drew gasps. The rush is unbelievable! So much he understands, now. In three swings, three more vamps go to dust and he wants to find more! They run up to High Acre Cemetery and search for new graves, but there aren't any tonight. As Drew comes down off the slaying-high, Sam remembers the Vastarley's party. Their friends will be there, but they can pull off the masquerade. Who's to know? However, Drew has to drive Sam's Jeep and Sam is a bad passenger for giving advice in her own car.

The Vastarley's house is decorated with garlands and mistletoe in every doorway. Erik makes sure to kiss every pretty girl, starting with Tori and Juanita. In honor of the holiday, Juanita puts away her jealousy, stroking the crystal and gold serpent necklace that Erik gave her. Tori joins the drummers near the fire. Joshua and Morgan, who've been trying to get into each other's clothes on the dance floor, go upstairs to finish the job. When Sam and Drew arrive, Erik throws open the door, shouts "Merry Solstice. Mistletoe!" And plants a big, wet kiss right on "Sam's" lips. "Drew" nearly loses it, but Erik doesn't notice. Cora and Juanita chat. Drew and Sam greet Sylvia, who seems pensive. Joshua and Morgan return and catch "Sam" under the mistletoe. "Sam" gets icked out kissing Joshua, but seems to enjoy locking lips with Morgan just a little too much. Sylvia goes out to walk the perimeter of the Vastarley's property. Something is moving out there. A thick fog swirls just beyond the circle of light. Drew concentrates, and Sam's Sight comes clear with swirls of power, all colors of the rainbow: warm and inviting inside the house, cold and forbidding outside. Something is coalescing in the fog. Sylvia informs Mrs. Vastarley and gathers items from the kitchen: fennel bulbs and bay leaves, lavender and cedar, for warding off the Benandanti's opposite. The Malandanti are not usually strong this time of year. The times of ashes in February, May, August, and October are their time to walk, but perhaps this gathering proved too tempting to pass up. Ten of the revelers gather outside with Slayer Club: Sylvia, Ilia, Kevin, Cora, two of the drummers, two Earth Mother ladies, and Kevin's parents all form a protective circle around the house, chanting and sweeping with their bundles of herbs. Tori takes the backyard, to stay near the fire. Erik is in front, to get to his Jeep and the rest of his Christmas presents. The one he made for Tori would be helpful. Out in the fog, solid forms move. Drew alerts Sam and the news goes around the circle: there are vampires in the mists! Drew decapitates his easily and then goes to help Sam, who is fencing with hers. Joshua pulls his katana, switching his cedar-branch to main gauche. He kills his vampire, but gets entangled in the cold mists before he can sweep them away. Erik disembowels his vampire, but the vamp holds its guts in and runs away. Tori throws balls of fire at hers, but misses, and it taunts her. Sam's vampire throws a wooden figure of a robed woman surrounded by flames at Drew and then runs away. Sam recognizes the altarpiece from St. Catherine's church. The fog disperses and Erik hands out his Christmas presents. Tori's is a silver metal ray gun formed around a trigger-action fire-starter. With her powers, this becomes a flame-thrower. Joshua's is a belt of star metal throwing-knives. Sam's present is a cruciform knife. Drew's present is a box of first edition comic books from the convention. Later, Erik will get signed copies of exactly the same comics from Drew.

Joshua drives his motorbike hell-for-leather, as usual, and gets to St. Catherine's first. Drew drives Sam's Jeep like he thinks she would, but not as well, taking out several trashcans and a street-sign on the way. Erik and Juanita follow in his Jeep, wondering if Sam got some of the alcoholic punch by mistake. Arriving at St. Catherine's, Joshua roars up the steps, pops a wheelie, and crashes through the old oak door. But instead of nimbly turning to stop near the font of holy water, Joshua loses control and lays the bike down, crashing into the pews. At the front of the church, three figures in black robes look up. Father Leoni is tied spread-eagle to the altar. One mage reaches for Joshua. Outside, Drew and Sam screech into St. Catherine's parking lot and pull up to the curb. Sam gets out and slams the door, not nearly as forcefully as she'd like. Erik arrives next, screeching with a bootlegger turn, but misjudges how far away the curb is. Sliding sideways, he hits the concrete with an explosive hissing sound as two of his tires deflate. In contrast, Tori sedately parks her Volvo next to Father Leoni's car. Beyond the broken doors and wreck of motorcycle, Joshua lies on the floor writhing and screaming at the robed man's feet. The mage holds a large, red crystal directly over Joshua's spleen, and a ruby-red shaft of light pins him in place. The second mage throws a water jet at Tori. She dodges, and the water knocks over the pew behind her. The last mage points at Erik, who shudders all over, but manages to throw off the weakness spell. "Sam" throws her Frisbee of Doom at the central mage, but he has kinetic shields. The Frisbee misses and swings back. "Drew" cringes, but Slayer-reflexes seem to slow time. "Sam" catches the ring on the dull inside edge, looping it around one finger. No sweat! The first mage loses concentration, but Joshua keeps screaming while he draws two of the knives Erik gave him. Aiming upwards, Joshua finds resistance of the shields, but keeps pushing. Erik aims his hammer, but Juanita stops him. A bolt of silver-green energy from her hand knocks the third mage into the wall below the windows. Sam and Drew charge the middle one. "Sam" swings back to strike, but "Drew" puts his hand on hers, since Sam's done this before and Drew hasn't. As they focus on dispelling the magic, the Kessler sword cuts, slowly, through the shields and impales the mage. The instant the shields fall, Joshua's upward thrust slices a femoral artery, which drenches him in blood. He rolls and catches the red crystal as it falls from the mage's hand. Tori jump-kicks the water mage, but goes right through as he dissolves into a puddle. "Drew" cuts Father Leoni's bonds and begins CPR. The priest is not responsive until Joshua puts the crystal on the floor and "Sam" stomps it to powder. A bolt of energy spears back into the priest. "Drew" just barely catches him while "Sam" goes to the church office—whups, that's the choir-robe closet—to call 911. Okay, now even Tori is suspicious. "Sam!" She points at Drew, and "Drew!" she points at Sam. Erik blanches. "I kissed you! Why didn't you stop me?!" "Drew" busts out laughing. They clean up and hide the bodies before the ambulance arrives. Joshua stays out of sight. The story that they surprised a gang of thieves who roughed up the priest is good enough for the EMTs, who whisk Father Leoni to the hospital. "Sam" ties up the mage that Juanita stunned and takes him back to the Vastarley's house. With Sylvia's help, they successfully interrogate the prisoner. The ritual's purpose was to steal Sam's confessions, to use against her. The mage reveals his boss (Karaoke Vamp), but doesn't know what the master plan is. After cleaning up in the Vastarley's shower, Joshua is all for killing this mage for what they did to Father Leoni, but Sylvia thinks a geas would be more fitting, and easier on the karma. She places a deep obsession in the mage's mind. The Vastarleys donate one of Roger's old suits and a couple of Cynthia's more demure outfits to the cause. They dress the mage in the brown tweed and leave him at the bus station with a valise of women's clothing and a ticket to Topeka. The geas is: he wants to join a traveling burlesque show and sing like Ethel Merman. He won't be happy until he's standing in a spotlight, dressed in drag.

The party breaks up and Slayer Club returns to St. Hubert's. Erik and Juanita retire to his room, and Sam and Drew to hers. Early in the morning, just before dawn, Drew dreams: The line of Slayers stretches before him. Women of Sam's heritage, strong, brave, every one beautiful to his eyes, from Sam, Vivian, on into the past, and then into the future. He looks down, and realizes that he's still in Sam's aspect, even in the dream.
A young brunette, Kate, looks up into his eyes. "You're not Sam." She frowns.
"I'm her boyfriend, Drew."
She glances away for a moment. "Well, this is awkward."
"It's a long story." Drew looks down the line of Slayers in the future. The line is markedly shorter there than in the past. As he watches, the Slayer at the end fades into non-existence, and the Slayer before her also begins to fade. "Wow. She told me about these dreams, but words really don't do it justice." Drew takes a deep breath. "So, Kate, tell me, what do we have to do to stop this?"
She shakes her head. "Not you. Her."
Drew argues. "That's not how we do things. Maybe other Slayers fight alone, but Sam's different. She has friends. We're a team."
Kate looks sad. "Not in this."
Drew rolls his eyes, but doesn't want to waste any more time. "Fine. What does she have to do?"
"I'm sorry, Drew. She has to die."

Interlude: The Axe
Written by Jodi Roosenraad and Greg Pearson.
The events of this story take place between Thursday, December 22nd and Sunday, December 25th, 1994.
A dream and a weapon.

5.11 Pear Shaped
Written and directed by Tim Ballew.
The events of this episode take place between Tuesday, January 10th and Thursday, January 12th 1995.
Previously, on Slaying Solomon:

Melina Demetra transforms from wolf to woman in Dracula's castle; Fights animated statues with Michael and Donovan (Drew); Walks arm in arm with Drew into the castle in Scotland; Talks with Drew and Sylvia in the Brew Pub kitchen.

Sam and Drew fight vampires together; Argue among gravestones; Spar with each other, grinning like a pair of goofs.

Tori gives orders to her minions; Bowls perfect frames with Poseidon; Controls fires.

Joshua gets slapped by a succession of one-night dates; Special ops training; Fights Aimee in the tunnels under Martense.

Erik dances with Juanita; Argues with her on a boat; Gives her a gold and crystal necklace shaped like a Norse dragon biting its tail.

Juanita hikes up to a cave in Texas and lies down on the ground, her head aligned with the dragon-shaped veins in the rock.

Dr. Gersham skulks in a dark graveyard with his golems; Researches in the Special Section of the Martense Library, and Covertly ogles Martense co-eds over the edge of his book.

Teaser: Chasing Aimee. The petite, spiky-blonde vampire runs flat-out through an industrial park with the Slayer hot on her heels and the rest of Slayer Club following. Joshua drops out of the race, checks his watch, and lines up a pistol shot. He misses. A warehouse window shatters and Aimee dives through it. Joshua runs back to his new motorbike and peels off to keep an appointment he just can't miss. Sam follows Aimee through the window, but pulls up short. Six vampires look up from a table full of books and scrolls. Aimee shouts to them and darts through a back door. The biggest vampire moves to cover her escape. Sam hefts her shiny, new axe and starts slaying. When Erik jumps through the window a few seconds later, there are four vamps. When everybody else arrives, two nearly bisected vamps writhe on the floor. Tori chastises Sam and Erik for being sloppy. Aimee is gone. The books and scrolls are covered in Egyptian hieroglyphics. Dr. G. marks the pages with slips of paper and rolls up the scrolls for transport. Elsewhere: at Solomon's bus station, a worried-looking young woman with blonde hair cut in a shiny bob steps off a bus. A man bumps into her. She snaps, "Don't touch me! Don't even look at me!" The man steps out into the street and gets hit by a car. Credits.

Joshua arrives at his contact point, an empty alley. He looks around and spots a corpse lying in the shadows. The body has a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist and a large icicle sticking out of the top of its head. Joshua picks the cuffs open, takes the case, the man's wallet and keys, and leaves quickly. Back at the Brew Pub, Erik and Dr. G. peruse the books and scrolls more carefully. The vampires were studying "The Black Heart of Bes," a myth about the Egyptian god of luck, and an evil demi-god who wishes to take Bes's luck for himself. So, the demi-god kills Bes and cuts his heart out. Dying, Bes curses the heart so that, although it brings its bearer good luck, it brings bad luck to everyone around him. Dr. G. remembers a former colleague, Jack Blackspear, who went to Egypt in the 1800's searching for an icon of Bes, and disappeared never to be heard from again. Joshua arrives with the briefcase, containing a dossier on his target: Mary Borden, fifteen years old, blonde bob-haircut, arriving in Solomon from NYC. She's known to move in otherworldly circles and is a more than competent fighter. Joshua doesn't share the dossier with his friends, but Sam spots Mary's picture. She looks a lot like one of the future Slayers in Sam's dream, but so far down the line, it couldn't possibly be her. Perhaps her daughter. Drew touches the dead contact's wallet, and gets a vision of receiving the case, reading the dossier, and murmuring "Mary Borden. She doesn't look so tough," just before the icicle impales him in the head. Ow!

That night, Sam and Erik have their usual dreams: a little more Gwen walking toward Erik, a few fewer Slayers for Sam to ponder. And, yes, one of them definitely is a dead ringer for Mary Borden. Tori dreams of fighting stances and kata techniques. The next day, Joshua is playing with lasers in his holography class when one of his classmates has an accident, nearly putting her eye out with what should have been a very weak laser beam. Drew 's class, "Physics of the Paranormal" has a mundane professor who's intent on debunking myths. However, the TA is a mage. After class, he holds extra discussions in a back room at the Crimson and Gray. Erik and Juanita's class, "Art of Pharaoic Egypt" goes without trouble. In Sam's sculpture class, Professor Malion pays close attention to her work. Dr. Gersham spends the day in the Martense Library, researching myths about Bes, including parallels between the Black Heart and the biblical Mark of Cain, which jinxes everyone around the person who carries it. While he's reading, a very attractive redhead slips into the seat beside him and begins a cryptic conversation, although the good Doctor is more than happy to make up in flirting what he lacks in understanding. Melina mentions a name that Dr. G hasn't used in centuries, and sees through his practiced blank look. She knows what is causing the rash of bad luck in Solomon, but she doesn't want to know too much about it because anyone who knows too much has died. The Benandanti tracked the disaster-trail from Miami, where a certain package entered the country, and a young, blonde woman intercepted it. They are both now heading straight for Solomon. Everyone else who was at the docks that night is dead, including Dr. G's former colleague, Jack Blackspear, who in spite of numerous protective amulets, was mauled by an alligator.

Wednesday evening, Erik and Juanita go to the Sacred Grounds, but literally bump into Mary at the door. "Don't touch me!" Juanita glares at her, and then feels sick and dizzy. Erik takes her back to St. Hubert's. Sam, Tori, and Drew also drive over to the Sacred Grounds, but get a flat tire on the way. Joshua takes a long, dark cloak and a vodka bottle of red-dyed water over to Blaire's, where he parks himself in a dark corner to wait, and listen to some of the most awful hair-metal karaoke he's ever heard. And he's from Jersey. When Sam, Drew, and Tori finally arrive at the Sacred Grounds, Ada is gone and Jonathan is screaming. The place looks like a tornado hit it, glass and pastries scattered everywhere. The giant, brass espresso machine lies in shards, which Drew steps on and gets a vicious loop vision of it exploding, over and over again. In the basement, burst pipes flooded Ada's library. Jonathan gasps that Ada just got run over by a truck, and then passes out. Sam quickly sets a seeker spell to find Ada. The Watcher is not far from her father's garage. Jonathan wakes up, screams "Fire!" and grabs Tori. Instantly, his pain is gone. They lock the door and take him with. Five blocks from the garage, there's a ten-way accident with blaring sirens, police and fire trucks. The garage is on fire. Ada stumbles out of the smoke just as paramedics wheel Sam's father out on a gurney, unconscious, with severe burns and smoke inhalation. Sam sends up a prayer for her father's life, while Ada tells Drew and Tori that Mary came to the Sacred Grounds, looking for the Slayer. Ada wouldn't tell her, but Mary saw enough papers on Ada's desk to connect Sam Kessler with the garage. Ada followed as quickly as she could, what with getting hit by a truck. She kisses Jonathan for saving her life. She was just in time to hear Mr. Kessler yell, "Why don't you try Blaire's?" before every grease gun spurted, propane tanks exploded, and the whole garage went up. Even now, the fire hoses are freezing solid. Tori takes control and smothers the flames. Ada says that a week ago a Watcher in Miami, Enrico Sanchez, died and the Potential Slayer that he was training went missing.

Mary Borden arrives at Blaire's and the karaoke machine short-circuits with a screech. No, that was the singer. Joshua stands and throws off his cloak. "Mary Borden, I want to go on a date with you!" Every demon, vampire, and other low-life goes silent, and then the mother of all bar fights breaks out. Joshua walks right through the middle, ignoring flying glasses and tables with the ultimate conviction that he's invulnerable. Mary is flabbergasted. Joshua takes her hand and kisses it. His motorcycle is right outside. He takes her to dinner at the Orchards, of course. The front desk clerk hits the "Evacuation" button installed after SoloCon and the alarm rings out. Joshua requests a private dining room, chateaubriand for two, a bottle of good Bordeaux, and creme brulee to be left on a tray outside so no one has to see them. In the lobby, Melina glimpses Mary and to her horror, begins to wolf-out. Covering her face, Melina runs outside with the rest of the Orchard's staff while Joshua brings in their food and closes the door. Mary's story tumbles out. She is, or was, Enrico Sanchez's Potential. Sanchez believed in an active approach to training, so last week they went to the Miami docks to intercept a shipment of "pure evil". Vampires were there, and some guy from Egypt too. In the fight, the box broke open and Mary accidentally touched the black lump inside. "Then, everything went pear-shaped." Her Watcher died. An alligator ate the Egyptian guy. Vampires swarmed the docks and she barely escaped with her life. She knew that the package was supposed to be shipped to Solomon, and that's where the Slayer was. So, Mary bought a bus ticket and came here to ask for Sam's help. How Joshua can sit there looking at her, even patting her hand, without ill effect, baffles her. She doesn't know Joshua's expertise as the one-date-wonder lets him look at her without really seeing her, and listen, apparently sympathetic, without hearing a word, as he eats his dinner.

Sam and company arrive at Blaire's just as the bar fight is winding down. Blaire points them in the direction of the Orchards. Slayer Club finds Melina in the parking lot, along with the evacuated staff and guests, where a series of icy looks from Drew put an end to Dr. Gersham's renewed attempts to flirt with Melina. Inside, they find Joshua and Mary, who are just finishing their crčme brulee. Mary is honored to meet Sam, but Tori recognizes a high-pitched whine heading their way. They all run out of the Orchards, just as a Cessna plane falls on top of it. This is the most complete destruction of the Orchards to date. Joshua takes Mary to the new "secret" lair to keep her out of the way while the others go to the Solomon train yards to find the package. Melina snuggles up against Drew on the ride over, but Sam shows an uncharacteristic lack of jealousy. The Empire–Vermont Inbound Limited train is already half an hour late, so Slayer Club cases the station and break into teams to set up a stakeout to watch the three vamps waiting in a warehouse without being seen themselves. With nobody to flirt with, Dr. G compares research notes with Erik. Melina and Drew step aside to converse. When she asks him how he is, he tells her about the body switch and his Slayer Dream, ending with the revelation that Sam has to die. Melina points out that he's always known that Slayers don't live long. But, although he's always known that each night could be her last, he's always been able to believe in the possibility that she might still have years left; it's different knowing that there she only has days or weeks. Melina tells him to make the most of the time they have left. He'll try, but it's not what he's best at. She smiles, once again amazed at how like, yet unlike, Donovan he is. "You'll make a really good Watcher one day." Drew scoffs, but not as hard as he once would have, and Melina only smiles at his protests. Tori and Sam discuss Tori's martial arts dreams, Sam's new weapon, and her hopes that it will shift the balance against the Slayer-less future that Sam's been dreaming about all year. If Sam falls and no new Slayer rises, for whatever reason, Tori swears she will do a goddess's best to get the weapon into the hands of the next Slayer. Also, they both want a chance to spar with Mary, once the curse is broken. The Benandanti think fire will destroy the Heart, and Tori does fire. They just have to fight through the bad luck.

Shortly before the train arrives, Aimee and six more vampire guards join the three in the warehouse. Both vampires and normal humans disembark. Aimee and her group gets aboard. Two vamps cut out of the crowd a family of four, struggling with a stroller and their luggage. Sam isn't willing to let that family die, so she goes alone to stop it while everyone else follows Aimee. Tori watches the platform, anticipating that Aimee will disembark. Dr. Gersham and his golems make sure Aimee doesn't escape out the other side. Drew, Ada, and Melina get on the train and are caught up in the crowd that the vamps are pushing around, causing chaos to cover Aimee's escape, again. Drew tries to shoot one of them, but his crossbow string breaks. Tori misses Aimee and dusts one of her guards instead. Sam accosts the two vampires, catching one, but the second one grabs the baby. The parents scream. Sam holds her prisoner tight and grabs the other one, forcing it to release the child, but she can't stop it from dropkicking the babe. Sam crashes the vampires' heads together, and then quickly stakes them. With another twist of luck, the baby landed in a pile of newspapers, hurt but alive. The family leaves the stroller and runs. Tori spots Aimee up the platform and gives chase. Aimee triumphantly holds a black, pear-shaped lump in her hand. Nothing can directly harm her, but everything around her is chaos. Tori tries to light her Bic, but it sputters. She casts around for an alternate weapon, seizes a fire extinguisher from the wall, and throws it. It misses Aimee, but knocks the Heart of Bes out of her hand. Sam also has a lighter. Ally-oop! Sam lights the small flame and throws it down the platform. She doesn't have to hit anything, just get it close enough. Tori fans the spark into a bolt of fire directly at the Heart of Bes. It incinerates with a tiny, golden mushroom cloud and a shock wave that throws Aimee down onto the tracks. She picks herself up and, as Aimee does best, runs away. On the train, Ada and Drew face down seven vampires with stakes, his rapier, and sheer determination; Melina hangs back, fearing that the proximity of the heart will make her wolf-out again if she tries to engage in combat. He dusts one of them before Tori and Sam torch the Heart and the resulting fireball branches arms, targeting the rest of the vampires, both on the train and platform. Out of the smoke, an image of a mountain dwarf dressed in Egyptian linen and shouldering a kopesh sword, bows to Tori and mouths, "Thank you, Mars" before he disappears. Slayer Club goes to tell Joshua not to kill Mary. They find him sitting in the "secret lair's" basement with Mary, asleep, snuggled in his lap. Both a pistol and a knife lie close to hand, but Joshua's relieved not to have to use them. He actually kind of liked Mary, although her return to Florida means he won't have another date with her. His superiors will understand. The threat has been dealt with, and the target was not the source. Ada offers Mary a spot on her futon for the night. Sam goes to the hospital to be with her father. The rest return to St. Hubert's, where Juanita corners Tori. She needs to talk to someone, and can't think of who else to ask. Clutched in Juanita's hand is a small, blue strip of paper.

Interlude: Two Hospital Visits
Written by Jodi Roosenraad.
The events of this story take place on Sunday, January 1st and Wednesday, January 11th, 1995.

5.12 Cold Cargo
Written and directed by Tim Ballew.
The events of this episode take place on Thursday, January 19th, 1995.
Teaser: Slayer Club is fixing the Sacred Grounds, rebuilding the damage from "Hurricane Mary." Just as Sam gets the picture window hung, a deep rumble shakes the ground and the glass shatters. Since when does New England get earthquakes? A deep chill cuts the air, and a few snowflakes, although the weather forecast doesn't call for snow. Even Tori feels cold and a bit off, as if she were coming down with the flu—odd, as she hasn't been sick since becoming goddess of war. Across the street, a skulking vampire gets hit by a pair of suitcases falling out of the sky. Sam goes over to investigate. The vamp is a paste of dust and accumulating snow, and the suitcases are leaking red fluid, which, when Joshua springs the locks, proves to be wine. Two bottles of good California cabernet are broken among the dirty laundry. The luggage tags identifies the owner and airline they were flying, so Slayer Club finishes off the vamp and takes the luggage back to the Sacred Grounds to call and report its recovery. Back in the alley, shadowy figures with red eyes watch them, softly hooting in a demonic language. Credits.

Joshua and Tori go hit the books in the Library's Special Section. Everyone is bundled up in the intense cold and thickening snowstorm. Tori feels it most acutely, since she's used to being warm all the time. Research reveals nothing. Whatever this is, it's beyond Tori and Joshua's ability to pinpoint...although Joshua isn't really trying too hard. They go back to Hubie House, where Erik and Juanita huddle around an apparently roaring fireplace, but the common room is still cold. Everyone else is upstairs watching TV or in their rooms, trying to keep warm and avoid Juanita. The radiators aren't working, even though Magnus double-checked them. The entire heating grid for the campus seems dysfunctional. Sam and Drew go patrolling, looking for more clues to the mystery of the falling luggage. They find a bright knit cap with earflaps, which Drew picks up, giving him a vision of hiking the Inca trail and watching a native Peruvian band play flute and drums. Then, there's a shakeup, and a mottled gray arm rummages in the duffel, finding the hat. It seems to have been worn for a short time, through the woods, into town, and then either knocked off or discarded in the alley across from the Sacred Grounds. In High Acre Cemetery, Sam spots a bear, disturbed from it hibernation, rooting in the weeds around a mausoleum. They go to the nearest shop to call Animal Control to come get it. Down near the river, Drew spots another suitcase falling out of the sky. It lands in the icy mud on the far side. Four hunched-over figures lope out of the woods and seize the luggage. Sam makes a note of where exactly they went, but it's not cold enough for the river to freeze solid, so they'll need wheels to cross the bridge and follow. So, they return to Hubie House to pick up Tori and Joshua.

As Slayer Club drives across the river, the temperature drops steadily. They find the spot where the loping creatures took the luggage from the riverbank and follow their trail. Nearby stands a large shipping container, slicked with frozen juice and pulp of smushed pineapples. More empty suitcases litter the forest floor. Not far away, three tall figures in brass plate armor loot another shipping container of typewriters. When Slayer Club approaches, the brass figures turn featureless faces toward them and attack with fiery swords. Joshua kills one elemental with a single stroke of his frost-brand katana. Tori is happy to suck the fire right out of them. After thus restoring her strength, Tori can feel the temperature gradient, what direction the cold—or, more accurately, heat leaching—is coming from: outside of town, near the small airport where Tori is taking flying lessons this J-term. There are more elementals nearby, and a second earthquake rumbles the ground. Slayer Club returns to their vehicles and heads for the airport. There, police and sheriff's SUVs are already fanning out searching for survivors from a turbo-prop commuter jet that went down in the sudden storm. Sheriff Lee is giving a press conference. Slayer Club listens in and learns what direction the searchers are going. Fortunately, it's not exactly the direction they're going. Tori directs and Sam drives along the airport access road, then Slayer Club takes hiking equipment and goes on foot. Joshua climbs a tree and spots lights along the vector Tori is pointing. About a mile away, they find the remains of a campfire and four frozen vampire-icicles. Sam stakes them, which warms them up enough to protest before they go to dust. Scattered though the woods are suitcases and shipping containers. Joshua falls into a large crate of weapons, and takes a rifle for himself. Drew steals some pens from a crate of office supplies, just because. More elementals, this time in white armor with icy swords, attack. Tori falls quickly, and Drew is also cut down, the sword being mightier than the pen in this case. Sam kicks her slaying into high gear and Joshua's bullets shatter ice. Slayer Club comes to the edge of a dense fog of ice crystals. Joshua jumps through the wall into a tropical paradise. Sam quickly hands Drew and Tori through, where they can recuperate from exposure and frostbite. Even their wounds don't seem so bad now that they can warm up.

In the middle of the New England forest rises a smoking volcano, surrounded by hundreds of tiki torches forming a primitive landing strip, next to a tall platform made of bamboo and palm fronds: a miniature control tower, where stands one of the hunched-over gray-skinned humanoids with pale bone plates for faces. This one wears a feathered headdress and carries an elaborate staff wrapped with feathers and small bones. It shakes the staff and chants in a guttural language. Another plane soars overhead, more crates and luggage falling out of it. On the ground, dozens of the gray, bone-faced creatures hoot loudly and run to gather the supplies while others shake spears and guns at the sky. More brass armored fire elementals range the slopes of the volcano, setting more torches alight. Another ground tremor shakes the area and the volcano pushes even higher. Tori feels the presence of a fire god inside the volcano. It's stronger than her fire power, but not as wise in the ways of warfare. And it just doesn't belong here in Massachusetts, especially not in winter. Which is why its worshippers are sucking all the heat out of the surrounding landscape, to fuel their tropical bubble. Sam suggests Plan A: Tori goddess-up to get these demons to do what she says. Plan B: Joshua climbs a palm tree with his rifle and takes aim at the high priest. Drew spots a big crate with "HMAS Atlantis" printed on its side. While Tori and Sam do their act, Drew sneaks around to see what's in the crate. Tori uses her fire powers to shape a whirlwind of flames, from which she and Sam emerge without harm. That gets the demons' attention. Inside the Atlantis crate, Drew finds British uniforms, hand weapons, a Gatling gun, and crates of bullets. Remembering his pulp movies, Drew dons a pith helmet and gets the Gatling set up, primed, and loaded, with the hand-crank ready to go.

The demon priest demands, "Are you Kolatoa?" Sam answers. "She is Victoria Clark, the great and mighty!" The demons aren't impressed. Tori swirls the fire more, setting their spears alight. She intends to make them drop their weapons, but goes a little overboard and sets several of them on fire. They charge. Joshua pegs the priest and Drew unleashes a hail of flying lead. When the last of the ground troops are mowed down, Drew re-adjusts the angle of his gun take aim the archers that line up along the nearby ridge; they duck behind the ridge, but they can't fire their bows with their heads down. Joshua runs down the tree to grab what looks like a Star Wars blaster rifle—there's no telling what dimension all these planes came from. Sam borrows his katana, and she and Tori climb the volcano's slopes to take on the elementals. Between fire and frost, the elementals fall before them. Joshua and Drew eliminate the last of the primitive demons and try to follow, but the heat of the volcano is too much for mere mortals, and they fall back to sort and loot what they can from the nearby crates, including grabbing another pith helmet as a consolation prize for Erik, who had to stay back at Martense running interference for Juanita.

Sam has to stop climbing when the air gets too hot to breathe. Tori continues alone to face the god inside the caldera. It's big. And it's hot. And it's angry that Slayer Club killed its priest and worshippers. It throws a sheet of boiling lava over Tori, burning off her clothing. That's enough to hurt even her, but Tori doesn't flinch. Joshua notices her undressed state and focuses the telescopic sight from his rifle on her. Drew finds another sight so he can see, too (what Sam doesn't know won't hurt him). Tori knows that she holds the high ground as long as she doesn't relinquish it. This is her town. She was born here, and she belongs here. This newcomer, upstart, wanna-be fire god doesn't have a match to stand on. She uses a calm, soft voice of utter conviction, "Go home." The fire god retreats. The edge of the volcano crumbles inwards. Tori runs down to where Sam waits. Sam throws her coat around Tori's shoulders, scoops her up, and bounds down the side of the imploding volcano. Joshua and Drew, loaded down with loot, also run. Where the ice-crystal fog formed the edge of the tropical weather, warm air meets cold in a small tornado of rain, turning to sleet, to snow, and then clear again. Slayer Club finds Sam's Jeep and Joshua's motorbike, and they drive away among the cavalcade of rescue vehicles carrying the dead and survivors from the downed plane, which was discovered about half a mile on the other side of the airport.

5.13 Soundtrack of the City
Written and directed by Chris Roosenraad.
The events of this episode take place between on Thursday, February 2nd and Saturday, February 4th 1995.
Teaser: A black and gold carriage drawn by a pure white horse rolls through New York City's Central Park. The driver drones his tourist spiel in a thick Brooklyn accent while two gentlemen in back talk softly of doings at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and across the park, at the History Museum. They reach the larger of the park's lakes, spanned by a palisade bridge, and get out. The two men walk along the lake-edge. There's a flash of light off a blade, and a struggle. One of them falls in the lake. The other retrieves the knife, but when he stands up, a crossbow bolt hits him in the chest. His body disintegrates into a pile of dust. The reins fall across the horse's flanks and it takes off at a fast trot. When it arrives back at the carriage-line, the brown horse in front whickers a greeting. (Subtitles) "Hi Saul! How ya doing? How'd it go?" Saul whickers back, "Hi Mordy. Something's wrong. They rode out to the lake, just like last year, but they didn't come back. We had to run." Mordy looks back over his haunches towards his friend. "Saul, what's wrong with your driver?" Saul bends his neck to look backwards and sees his human partner sprawled across the backseat with a six-foot long stone spear impaling his chest. Saul bares his teeth. "Mordecai, alert the Temple. They need to know about this." Credits.

Up in Solomon, Massachusetts, Sam, Drew, Erik, and Tori patrol downtown with Michael, who is back from a month long "research trip" to Israel. That means Michael was on top-secret assignment for the Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem, while some poor intern did research for him. Their patrol turns up nothing. All the fanged fiends are either hiding underground or at Blaire's demon bar, so Slayer Club walks back to St. Hubert's for hot chocolate. In the downstairs common room, someone is waiting for them. A gentleman with a wide-brimmed black hat and ear-curls greets Michael as a brother and gives him a manila envelope before leaving. The message in Aramaic literally translates: "Get your tukkus to New York. Bring your friends." Signed by Michael's friend at the Cloisters museum, another agent of the Temple. Erik checks on Juanita, who is sleeping peacefully for the first time in weeks. Rather than rouse her, he grabs a change of clothes off the floor and leaves a note on the nightstand. Slayer Club packs clothing and weapons in duffel bags. Sam's axe fits nicely in a guitar case. Two hours later, they check into a small hotel near Columbia where they stayed before when visiting Erik at art school, and spend the rest of the night there. That night, Erik and Sam dream their recurring dreams. Gwen wakes up in her red and gold tower room and oh-so-slowly rises and crosses the room toward Erik. Now, she raises her arms to him. Does she want to hug him, or bite him? He wakes up before he can find out. Sam sees her line of Slayers, and spots Mary Borden, or a girl who looks a lot like her, nearly a hundred Slayers in the future. It couldn't be Mary. Maybe her daughter, or even her granddaughter. Sam examines the axe carried by future Slayers again, and is pleased. The axe she made looks exactly like theirs.

The next morning, they meet Michael's contact for lox and bagels at the Plaza Hotel at Central Park South. He outlines the situation. One of the Temple's men was killed last night, and two very prominent vampires went missing: shadow-chairmen of the Metropolitan history museum and art museum. These rival museums are nexuses of New York's vampire community, but for centuries, they've had an armistice that's been renewed each year on February 2nd. This year, the armistice wasn't renewed. Something happened to the chairmen, and war is brewing between the factions. If something isn't done, the vampire-war will spill out into the streets, and then all hell will literally break loose. Slayer Club's job is to find out who killed the Temple agent, and if possible, put a stop to the war before it boils over into the city at large. Michael's primary objective is to solve his colleague's murder. Vampire politics be damned. Slayer Club reaches out to their other contacts in the city. Erik calls Christophe, his friend from art school who is a voodoo priest. Christophe is preparing for a big dance party he's been planning for months, but he's willing to help if they need some voodoo mojo. Tori and Sam go to see Mr. Smith, the Hephaestus-lookalike, to thank him for selling Tori the dagger she used to kill Baal. Sam shows off her new weapon, and Mr. Smith invites them to join his fencing club on Sunday afternoon. They accept, contingent on stopping a war. Not that there's anything wrong with war, per se. Tori can feel the rise in the city's energy level, and it feels good! They have lunch at Tavern on the Green and then go to talk to the only witness: Saul, the white horse who drove the carriage. Sam gives him some sugar cubes she took from the Tavern's table setting, and invokes her prayer to St. Francis of Assisi, which lets her to talk to animals like Dr. Doolittle. Tori asks to see the murder weapon, and it's brought out. The stone spear is lethal-looking, but the moment Tori touches it, she knows something's wrong. It's made of granite, and it's carved all of one piece. The top is a triangular point, with a crossbar, but the bar is set too high to be effectively set against a charge, and the triangle isn't sharp. It's squared and beveled at the corners. The balance is all wrong, and the bottom edge is rough, as if it were broken off of something bigger. Tori makes her pronouncement. This is not a weapon, and never was meant to be one. What it is, she isn't sure, but whoever broke it and threw it hard enough to impale a man's chest had to have been at least as strong as Sam, if not stronger.

At the scene of the crime, the lakeside is peaceful in the daylight. Tori and Drew both spot the dagger resting in a clump of grass, and Sam examines the small pile of vampire-dust near the water. The steel dagger is sharp and elaborately carved in a Medieval Italian style. Michael recognizes it as an upper-class weapon, used for show or display, not for combat. Sam finds the crossbow bolt that dusted the vampire, but there's no sign of the second one. When Drew touches the dagger, he has a vision: darkness, being brought out into moonlight, a ritual, chanting, cutting a person's hand so the blood flows, then cutting a second person's hand, and the two hands clasp together, mixing blood, then cleaned off on a white silk handkerchief, back into darkness. Over and over again, for a hundred and fifty years, until this last time, when the chanting began, but then stopped. Dust flies. A shout, a splash, falling into water. Being retrieved again, and then more dust, falling into the grass. Drew wakes up in Sam's arms with a splitting headache. He must have passed out. Just over her shoulder, the sun is setting; it'll be night soon. But something's missing. There! He points. Right in the center of the bridge's span, one of the spikes in the palisade railing is missing. The spikes match the murder weapon they saw earlier. As full dark falls, Slayer Club stakes out the lakeside from a nearby copse of trees. All the lights in the immediate area go out, and two vampires emerge from the shadows. One of them wears bright white shoes and carries a notebook. They're investigating the scene, too. Sam and Drew try to sneak up on them, but when the vampires see the Slayer, they go into defensive stances. They're not here to fight, unusually enough. Sam convinces them that she doesn't want to stake them, either, yet. They'd both rather find out what happened, so they exchange information. Slayer Club knows more about the events of last night, but the vampires have a better idea of who could have done this. The person with the most to gain by having the vampires go to war, they think, is New York's mayor. He's cracked down on the criminal element in an effort to clean up the city. He would love to have this excuse to crack down on the supernatural element, too. The two vampires fade back into the shadows. Next to arrive are a man and woman dressed in matching beige trench coats, carrying flashlights. They speak with slight accents. Drew thinks British. Erik's sure they're Italian. In any case, they're engaged enough looking at the crime scene that Sam and Drew easily sneak up on them and have the satisfaction of hearing them jump. When they see Sam, they are relieved that the Slayer is here. They identify themselves as Watchers and invite Sam to join them in a scrying spell. Drew stands back and watches. As the spell takes shape, it begins to snow, swirling faster and faster, blurring the outline of their circle. With a flash of light, the three figures collapse. Drew runs to Sam's side, but she wakes immediately and helps the Watchers to their feet. The spell failed. Apparently, the ritual of peace repeated here over the years made this place resistant to other forms of magic. The Watchers go off to make their report.

Sounds of battle come from the far corners of the park, and Tori feels it in the air. Restless, she paces, triangulating possible places the spear could have been thrown from. The bridge itself would be a very exposed location, but the terrace by the lake, or the small hill covered in trees that they are using for cover right now, are perfect places to set up an ambush. Joshua and Erik go look for a phone to call Christophe. There's one at the nearby tourist center. Drew stays with Sam as she sits down to meditate. Stilling her thoughts and feelings, listening, she hears the City's heartbeat. It is big and deep, busy with commerce It speaks of roads and ships, bridges and cars. The voice of the city is many-layered, with shouts, cursing, music, dance, car horns, and harp strings. It rests on the bedrock of Manhattan Island and across the river, each of the boroughs and Long Island add their voices too. There are ley lines here. Sam spots them high up, lacing the skyscrapers like a mystic cat's cradle. Here in the park, there is a deep calm. This is where the city rests, where people come to relax and enjoy themselves. However, anger is spreading like a red glaze. Resentments long-held are being released. Two more investigators arrive: young men in baggy jeans and do-rags, sniffing around, their noses almost to the ground. Werewolf teenagers on a crescent moon night. Sam comes out of her reverie and goes down to talk to them. They don't know anything, but they'd be real happy if the fang-faces just did each other in. Maybe 'da boyz' could get a piece of the park for themselves, then. But they got no problem with the Slayer. They slink off into the night. Christophe comes to the park to meet Erik. It's late and he's got a party going back at Columbia, but it's Erik. There's karma there. Sam relates what she felt from the mood of the city. Erik and Christophe prepare a more specific ritual to talk to Central Park herself.

Erik draws a horseshoe-shaped vever on the ground in powdered sidewalk chalk and cornmeal he brought with him. This resonates with the Central Park horses, good luck, freedom, and protection. Christophe invokes Legba, voodoo loa of portals and communication, while he pours a measure of rum and smokes a joint for the spirits, too. Slayer Club and Christophe are drawn to the southeast, to the corridor of bronze busts of philosophers, artists, and writers. Johann Schiller was the first statue installed in the park, back in 1859, and now Schiller is talking to them in the voice of the Park herself. "Sure, man. There's like, fighting going on all over. It's like totally not cool how they're messing up my greens and tipping over my benches and trash cans. And the statues, man. The statues!" Erik tries to direct the spirit with some questions. "Who is pissing you off?" "Not me, man. If there's madness afoot, it isn't mine. Someone else is seriously mad, sure. It's disturbing the peace." Drew asks, "Who vandalized your bridge?" And the spirit goes quiet. "You know, don't you? They vandalized your bridge and used it to kill a man. That's not cool and we want to stop them." "Well, yeah. That's not right. But there are, like, other powers, yanno? Some of 'em you don't want to piss off, cause some of 'em sit on the Conservancy board. And they've done a good job, yanno? I don't want to go back the way it was, with winos pissing on every bush and trash collecting in all the waterways. It wasn't pretty." Slayer Club put their heads together. Who would benefit from the vampires starting a war? Enough to kill a man to make sure it happened? The spirit is willing to play Twenty-Questions. Well, there's the mayor. Always looking for a reason to crack down on the mystical set, yanno. But he is a normal, so if he got involved, it'd have to be seriously secret, or the papers would have a field day. The vampires wouldn't do this, because they like the status quo the way it was. The werewolves are opportunists, but not powerful enough to set this in motion. That leaves the Watchers? Sure, they train the Slayer and Potentials. They certainly wouldn't object to vampires killing each other off. But would a more active faction among the Watchers be willing to do this? Perhaps. Just who were those Watchers, anyway? Sam never got their names. Slayer Club thanks the spirit. "No, problem little people. Peace. Rock on!"

It's getting late, and Slayer Club is hungry, so they return to Tavern on the Green to eat at the bar because the boys don't have proper jackets. A drunken guy hits on Tori. Sleazily. With puns. She tries to ignore him, but the war outside is jazzing her up. She slaps him, a bit too hard, and the jerk flies across the bar, smashing bottles before hitting the floor. A bar-brawl breaks out. Erik joins in to burn off some tension. Sam pulls her punches so she doesn't kill anyone. Joshua disappears to riffle the cash register. Drew goes to the dining room, where he spots the trench-coated pair joining the throng of people leaving. Drew waves at Sam as he goes out the door and Slayer Club follows. Drew confronts them, demanding their names. The young woman nervously stammers, "Sis – I mean, Jane." Sister Jane and Father Marco aren't Watchers, but they know the Watchers well enough to impersonate them. When Sam asks, they admit to membership in a small order of "New Crusaders" operating on the fringes of the Church to fight the supernatural. They're surprised that the Slayer, who is also Catholic, doesn't applaud their results. She does, but not their methods. They started this war to eliminate New York's vampire population, but how are they supposed to contain it? Tori can feel it already. Some of the vampires are leaving the park, taking their fight into surrounding streets. Still, the priest and nun won't let anyone stop them. Father Marco animated the park's statues to fight the vampires. Now King Wadislav II of Poland turns his stone horse and twin swords to protect Father Marco. Sister Jane's prayers wrench more spears from the bridge and hurl them at Slayer Club. One spear catches Joshua in the shoulder and pins him to a tree. Michael knocks out the priest and nun, but Sam stops him from killing them. Temple justice will deal with them. Michael calls his friends at the Cloisters to pick them up and take Joshua to the nearest hospital. Tori remembers to remove all of Joshua's armament, including the vampire's knife.

All across Central Park, it's grand melee with vampires fighting vampires and statues smashing both sides. Slayer Club seeks out Harvey, the vampire with the white shoes. He's still alive, directing a group of combat reference librarian vampires attacking a squad of art geek vampires with bright colored Mohawks and facial piercings. One of the Mohawk-wearing guys is an actual Mohawk, and de facto leader of their side. Sam grabs Harvey and Long Fang, and puts them face-to-face. If they can finish the ritual, the truce will be re-established. They have the knife. Drew knows the ritual by heart. Sam will protect them until they get to the spot by the lake where peace reigns, even in the middle of war. And they do it. The war is over, just like that. The statues walk back to their pedestals and pose as they usually do. The few remaining vampires return to their museums. Harvey and Long Fang agree to meet again next year and Harvey pockets the knife for safekeeping. Michael returns to the Cloisters to await the Temple's Grand Marshall and Sam goes with him, as she promised to keep an eye on him. Drew, Tori, and Erik go to Christophe's party. Sam and Michael join them once the Grand Marshall gives his verdict. Life imprisonment. Father Marco and Sister Jane only wanted the vampires to kill each other. They didn't intend to harm any human beings, but the statues' orders were "to kill anyone involved in the ritual." The driver was involved, peripherally, but the horse didn't count as a person, which they will not tell Saul. Michael accepts his superior's verdict, reluctantly. The next day is Sunday, a clear crisp day with one of the few moments of pure white snow over the city. After church, Sam and Tori go shopping. Erik and Drew hit the Strand. Michael checks on Joshua, who will recover with further treatment in Solomon. They all sit in on Mr. Smith's fencing club. A couple of the fencers are Olympic-quality, but Tori and Sam deflate their egos a peg or two, even while holding back. Erik excuses himself early, quietly slipping off to a find a jewelry store. He has a ring to buy.

5.14 SOP (Sneetches on Parade)
Written and directed by Chris Roosenraad.
The events of this episode take place between Thursday, February 9th and Saturday, February 11th, 1995.
Teaser: In the woods above High Acre Cemetery, a black-leather clad vampire in game-face runs, half-wading, half-jumping, through hip-deep snowdrifts. Thirty feet behind, Samantha Kessler pushes her way through his wake. Trailing them, the rest of Slayer Club also struggles—except for Tori, whose footprints melt the snow, making a Tori-sized path. Drew stops shuffling, raises his crossbow, and fires. Just above the heart, but it makes the vampire pause. Tori and Joshua also shoot, and hit the vampire in each shoulder. Erik's hammer knocks it on its face, giving Sam time to catch up. Sam jumps and tries to use a tree trunk for a springboard to tackle the vamp, but it rolls out of the way. She belly flops, but is now close enough to get to her feet, lunge, and stake it. Dust makes a gray patch in the snow, along with a faint circle of green liquid and glass-shards. Whatever kind of ichor it was carrying is gone now. Erik retrieves his hammer and Slayer Club goes back to Martense for hot chocolate. At Hubie house, Juanita shows off her new ring—a white gold snake biting its tail, with a heart-shaped emerald at the head and a tiny diamond at the tip of the tail. Erik gave it to her when he returned from New York, which went a long way toward earning her forgiveness for leaving her behind. But when he dropped to one knee and asked for the honor of her being his wife, Juanita choked and rushed to the bathroom. When the morning sickness passed, she said, "Yes!"

That night, Sam and Erik have their usual dreams. Gwen wakes up, rises, and reaches out to Erik as if she would hug him, or bite him. Sam questions Kate about where the Slayers were Called in the past. It would be interesting to see if there's a pattern. Kate says it would be dangerous for anyone to find out from Sam where the next Slayer is, because there are far more things out there that would kill her than would help her. Sam agrees, and leaves it at that. Friday morning, Sam has her class "The Dead, Dying and Mourning Self"—ten black-clad goth kids, one boy who has leukemia, and Sam. In the afternoon, Hubie House votes on what to build for the Winter Carnival snow sculpture contest. The Carnival theme is "Dr. Seuss." After much discussion, The Cat in the Hat and the Grinch are both rejected as too obvious. But Tony always loved the story of the Sneeches. When the others go "huh?" he runs to fetch a battered boxed set of Dr. Seuss books to read the story to his dorm-mates. "The Star-bellied Sneeches had bellies with stars. The Plain-bellied Sneeches had none upon thars." Anyone who gives the big man grief for bringing his childhood books with him to college gets a glare. It was either bring them with, or his mother was going to throw them out. So, the Star-on, Star-off Machine is their snow sculpture plan, with some ostrich-like Sneeches waiting in line to go through it, and then admiring their new stars at the other end. Erik thinks with a little enchantment they could make the machine work—let their classmates slide through a tunnel on dining hall trays, and when they come out, they'll have yellow-green stars on their clothes that would either wash off or come off with another trip through the machine. Magnus signs out a bulldozer from B&G to move snow around. Everyone in the dorm helps build the giant snow-chute from the second story balcony and then shape the Star On/Star Off machine around it. Several mundane students take the ride many times, trying to figure out how it works. The Special students are also impressed. Sam's off-hand suggestion of a Mardi Gras theme for the party on Sunday night gets rousing approval. Easy costumes with masks and feathers, specialty drinks of hurricanes and mint juleps (made with mint schnapps) and Cajun/zydeco music. It's a party plan!

On Saturday night, Ada throws a re-opening party for the Sacred Grounds. A huge brass espresso machine replaces the one that "Hurricane Mary" and her Egyptian bad-luck curse blew up. Slayer Club goes to drink hot chocolate, dance, and have a good time. Sam and Drew dance the "uncoordinated white boy with martial-artist girlfriend" dance. No one wants to get too close, or they might get kicked accidentally. Tori sips a mocha and eyes the crowd. In the back corner there's a group of four tragically unfashionable people. She points them out to Erik, who thinks they might be art students. When Sam and Drew take a break from dancing, Sam says they're vampires, and three more join their table. The three new arrivals slip over a locked briefcase in exchange for three cardboard boxes about five inches square by a foot high. An argument breaks out. Drew glimpses Aimee in the shadows near the basement door. Juanita asks Erik, "Did you feel that?" just as the brand-new espresso machine blows up. Coffee steam and smoke fill the room. The crowd stampedes for the exits. Ada groans, "not again!" Tori flattens herself against the wall and Erik puts Juanita behind the bar where it's safe. Sam heads toward the vampires' table, but all she finds are seven piles of dust on their chairs, and a large, sharp-edged chunk of the espresso machine imbedded in the wall. The three boxes and briefcase are gone. Drew points down to the basement, where the door is unlocked and the lights aren't working. Slayer Club gets flashlights from the office and investigates. The formerly locked and barred door to the Witch-tunnels is open. An acetylene torch and three boxes half-full of Styrofoam peanuts lie on the floor beside it. Aimee is gone. Slayer Club helps Ada lock up and then goes to Blaire's to ask her if she's seen Aimee. A week ago, yes. Aimee was talking to two pairs of vampires, on different nights. Tori thinks it was a set-up: Aimee acts as middle-vamp, brings the two sides to the table in the middle of a party where they won't be noticed and there's access to the Witch Tunnels for a getaway. The out-of-towners wouldn't know that the Watchers own the Sacred Grounds and the Slayer and her posse hang out there. Then, Aimee double-crosses them, uses a one-shot spell to explode the espresso machine and maneuver the brass shard to decapitate her "partners" so she can take both the payment and merchandise for herself.

Joshua picks the lock to the Martense alchemy lab so Erik can test the boxes to see what they contained. From the Kirlian photography rig, he gets an image of a clear glass bottle, with pale green flames or vapors dancing above the rim. Pale green, just like the goo in the snow bank last night. Slayer Club returns to the scene of their slow-speed chase and finds the hammer-shaped hole in the snow. Erik scoops as much of the green slush as he can get into a large beaker and seals it. Back at the lab, amid the bubbling retorts and Jacob's ladders, Erik finds that the frozen goo is strongly magical, but the test for aspect, to see what kind of magic it is, comes up neutral, usable for any kind of spell or enchantment. This is Paut, the Essence of Magic, like Phlogiston is the Essence of Fire. Erik is studying these substances in Alchemy this semester, although Paut is not covered for another ten chapters. He's now ahead of the class! Before anyone notices, or can stop him, Erik takes a taste of the Paut. What alchemist doesn't taste his experiments? That's why they all go insane, or into other dimensions of thought, depending on how you look at it. When the tip of his tongue touches the green liquor, Erik's eyes roll back in his head and a beatific smile spreads across his face. Instinctively, he reaches for his sketchbook and pencils and begins to draw: an Escher-esque sketch of an oval room, with three rounded bottles sitting on a picnic table with the benches on either side. The walls are covered in drapes but no windows, and a high-backed chair sits in the foreground. A figure, shadowed so even the gender is indistinct, sits as if he or she were looking out of the page at the viewer. Spooky.

Slayer Club has two magic-detectors in their vault, the tricorder device that Joshua stole from the time-traveler Professor Astin, and a dowsing rod that they confiscated from another student last year. Erik takes the dowsing rod and Drew takes the tricorder down into the Witch Tunnels. Compensating for the demon sleeping under Solomon High, and Tori standing right next to him, Erik follows the next-strongest source of magic. Drew's attempts to whack the tricorder into obedience only make it pick up the Martense radio station, so he shuts it off and turns his attention to looking for traps. Drew stops Erik just before a trip-wire. Joshua disarms and retrieves a claymore landmine. At the next turn, a vampire kicks Erik into the wall and then runs away. Sam chases it to a locked door, lowers her shoulder, and plows into the room. Drew follows. Tori and Erik stay back to watch the corridor. More vamps appear. Tori fires a flame-jet from her new "ray gun" that Erik gave her for Christmas, and Erik throws his hammer. Slayer Club searches three interconnected rooms filled with boxes of weapons and camping supplies, and an oval room with the picnic table and chair, but no vials. Drew notices a square of bricks in the ceiling is lighter in color than the bricks around them. Sam climbs up on the table and pries the panel out, which breaks the cable-pulley system it was attached to.

Above is a warehouse next to the train station. Ten vampires, six to the right, four to the left, converge on Slayer Club. Sam charges the larger group to keep them off her friends. The plan is to keep them busy while the others dust the smaller group, and then they clean up the remainders together. It's a good plan, and would have worked, if only Sam had taken on the smaller group first. Although she dusts two of hers quickly, that leaves four more. One, armed with a crowbar, slips in behind Sam, takes aim at the back of her head, and swings for the fences. The crunch makes Tori's head whip around. The Incarnation of War sees pure red and charges across the room, screaming in rage. But Drew somehow reaches Sam's side before Tori does. His sword cuts through crowbar-vamp's neck and dust flies. Sam is avenged! While the fight rages below, Joshua climbs up on the catwalks to open some windows and let the light shine in. Between blade and fire, all the vamps are dusted, but the Slayer is down. Tori checks Sam's pulse, which is weak, but there, and rips her T-shirt to make a battlefield dressing. Meanwhile, Erik checks to make sure no more vampires surprise them. He nearly gets run down by a car, but jumps at just the right moment to clear the hood, and run over the top and down the trunk. Erik turns and throws his hammer, breaking all the blackened windows. The driver falls to dust in the sunlight. Aimee slithers out of the backseat and down another secret tunnel, escaping again. The thunderclap not only broke the windows, but also the three bottles that Aimee was carrying. Erik pulls some alchemy vials out of his pocket and quickly scoops up as much of the Paut as he can. He saves two vials before it vaporizes. Sam's eyes flicker open, but she's in dire need of a magical doctor who won't ask too many questions. Drew and Tori help her into a cab to go to the Martense clinic. Erik and Joshua follow in a second cab. Sam won't see the Mardi Gras party for being unconscious, but weakly walks into the midnight buffet and polishes off an entire tray of deli sandwiches. Almost dying makes you hungry! Sam has a new perspective on her Monday morning "Death and Dying" class.

5.15 The Thin Tweed Line
Written and directed by Tim Ballew.
The events of this episode take place on Tuesday, March 7th and Wednesday, March 8th, 1995.
Tuesday, March 7th, 1995—Matthew Hartsdale sits on the wide, shady verandah of the Killian Estate in Jamaica, sipping a mojito with an umbrella in it. Instead of tweed, he's wearing a white linen suit with a panama hat, and he's reading a thick, leather-bound journal illustrated with a naturalist's drawings of demons. James Phineas Wolf was a Watcher in 1869: the year that the town of Dansbury Heath, in the hills between England and Scotland, was destroyed with nearly all its occupants.

Flashback: a Victorian town under attack. Barely seen shapes tear people to shreds as they try to run. Screams fill the air. A man in a plain, dark suit runs through the carnage, clutching a large book to his chest. He darts inside the church. VO: "They came out of nowhere, the death of a thousand invisible wings. They went first for the town council, and every man died horribly, their hearts torn from their chests. And then they descended on the midwife's house, and the vicarage, and various homes throughout the town. My Slayer—bless her brave soul—fought as she has never fought before, but they swarmed her en masse. Although I couldn't see them, she could. She fought, and died. Horribly. I have taken refuge here in the church crypt, sealed in with a single lamp, my inkpot and pen to chronicle these events so that others might know." The man climbs down a long, spiral staircase and barricades the door at the bottom. VO continues: "The telegraph from the Council told of another, similar attack, in the year of our Lord 1743, when a small town in the Slovak region of the Austro-Hungarian Empire was destroyed. That town was known to harbor witches, as was Dansbury Heath. Many members of the Town Council were known to practice rites under the moon, but soon these invisible attackers began rending anyone on the street and inside the houses. The Watcher's Council said that this pattern was the same. The invisible demons first sought out the Slovak witches, and then their families, and then everyone else. Shortly thereafter, an earthquake shook the region, and the earth swallowed up the entire town. Thus ends Volume 3."

Hartsdale runs his finger over the page and listens. A fluttering of wings comes from the house behind him. He stands, and the door and its frame explode outward. A cold wind rushes into the warm Jamaican night, blurring the stars to the north. When the leaves settle again, Hartsdale goes inside and follows the trail of broken furniture and gouges in the walls and ceiling down to the pit in the basement. The stone lip of the pit has fresh claw marks on the side nearest the door. Hartsdale goes to the library, but the next volume of Wolf's journals is missing. He calls the Watcher Council. Credits.

Wednesday morning in Solomon, Massachusetts, Drew is reading Volume 4 of Wolf's journals and half-listening to Erik and Juanita talk about marriage plans. They had thought of waiting until the end of the semester and then having a big wedding, but the way Juanita's pregnancy is progressing they should probably step up the schedule. The doctor who did her first ultrasound asked them if they were absolutely sure about the due date, before he upped it by three months. From now on they'll use a magically in-the-know doctor Juanita knows of. Suddenly, Juanita's eyes roll back in her head and a harsh voice speaks out of her mouth. "They shall come to purge the world of all that is unclean and unholy. Protect me! Protect us!" Erik moves comfort her, but she brushes him off. "Not you, you blithering idiot. Him!" She points to Drew, and then passes out.

Hartsdale arrives in Solomon by chartered plane and stops first at the Sacred Grounds. Ada knows who Hartsdale is, but Hartsdale has never met her. At first, he takes her for a barista before Ada sets him straight. Apocalypse is coming. More Watchers are on the way: Daniel Wong, who completed Sam's Cruciamentium after Hartsdale was shot, and George Cavendish are the closest, already in New England. Others in North America are boarding planes to get here as soon as possible. Ada and Hartsdale go to the Brew Pub, but the book he wants is not there. On the road, Tori's white Volvo passes them. She's on her way to the airfield. Wednesdays, Tori has no classes, but puts in flight-hours preparing for her solo. Sam gets to her 9 AM class late and disheveled. She's been out all night hunting for vampires that aren't there. Even Blaire's is dark and locked up tight. Joshua wakes up beside a pretty, redheaded woman who screams "Apocalypse is coming! Protect me!" before she wakes, mortified, dresses quickly and runs out to her "Special" class. Michael has an emergency meeting of Special faculty to discuss the impending apocalypse. The diviners are working. It's big, and it's soon, but whether it will hit in the next hour or the next week, they're not sure. If necessary, they can call it a bomb threat, or sound the tornado warning siren to get the students to their dormitories. Classes will definitely be cancelled.

3,000 feet above Solomon, Tori Clark and her flying instructor bank the blue and white Piper Cub around the airstrip for another run. Tori mightily resists the urge to buzz the control tower, when she spots a dark cloud moving quickly on the southern horizon. Tori asks her instructor casually about the "flock of birds," but he can't see the cloud bearing down on them. In moments, it blots out a third of the sky comes right at the plane. Dogfighting instincts come to the fore and Tori takes evasive action. She turns toward the cloud and climbs, but the Cub isn't fast enough and the swarm is too big. She turns again, banking sharply toward the ground and makes a run down the Housatonic canyon. Her instructor screams, thinking that she's trying to kill them. Quite the opposite. Tori puts the plane down on the Martense football field. Her teacher faints. Most of the demons scatter across campus and into town, but some stay to dive-bomb Tori. They veer off when she brandishes her lighter and blasts them with fire. They circle, returning for another run. Suddenly, a platoon of humanoid figures cloaked and armed with battle-axes bamf in all around her.

Ada and Hartsdale drive back to Martense campus, figuring that Drew has Wolf's Volume 4 in his dorm room. They, and everyone else on campus, see Tori's plane land and wonder what's going on. Michael sees it, and runs to get Sam out of class. Both Slayer and Djinn can see the demons that are dive-bombing the campus. They're gargoyles, like Martense's mascot, but not so friendly. Michael summons his falchion and a sword for Sam. It's not her axe, but it'll do. As they fight their way to St. Hubert's, Michael is wounded. Intense cold and pain like he has never felt scream through his body. All around, students are running, screaming as some of them are ripped to shreds by invisible teeth and claws. Joshua leaves his one-night-stand's dorm when he also sees the plane land and gets corner-of-the-eye glimpses of the gargoyle creatures. Acting nonchalant, Joshua makes it back to St. Hubert's without drawing the demons' attention. Ada and Hartsdale are outside Drew's room. With a little explanation, they convince Joshua to pick the lock so they can get the book from his desk. Hartsdale is a bit shocked to see two sets of desks and bookshelves, but no bed. Both Sam and Drew's beds are in her room. Ada just shrugs. Joshua gathers up his katana and sniper rifle, an extra box of ammo, and several bottles of holy water before climbing up through Xiu Mei's room to St. Hubert's bell tower.

Tori and her platoon of minions fight intensely on the sports field until the emergency vehicles and media arrive. Two of the paramedics die from being hit with gargoyle claws. Tori turns her instructor over to the survivors and then runs, with her minions around her, leading the gargoyles away from the emergency personnel. When Tori's minions die, the killing gargoyle gets a little more substantial and visible, sucking out the demon's essence. Tori feels the aching cold too, when the claws get too close. Hartsdale calls 011-888-WATCHER from Drew's room, getting "What do you want now, prat?" before they realize that Hartsdale is one of their own. The next book he needs is Sulieman's Grimoire of Creatures of the Dark, an account of a similar attack in 1617 on a village in Turkey. The Martense Library has a copy. Hartsdale calls the Sacred Grounds to tell Jonathan to send any arriving Watchers to meet him at the library. Upstairs, Joshua dips his bullets in holy water and takes aim at the shimmering spots he can almost see around Sam and Michael. The holy water makes the bullets effective. One shot, one kill. Drew leaves his physics class and takes his sword out of his gym bag. When he spots Sam and Michael in the quad, he concentrates on stabbing the same places that Sam is, since he can't see the gargoyles at all.

Once they reach St. Hubert's, Tori gets her sword and Sam gets her axe. Hartsdale is reluctantly impressed with Sam's industriousness in making the weapon, but there's no time to catch up now. Across the quad, Juanita is making her way back from class when the gargoyles catch her. She screams in two voices and blasts them with magic, but the gargoyles just absorb her blast and get more substantial. Breaking into teams, Slayer Club and the Watchers, Juanita, and Marcy, with Tori's minions forming a perimeter, fight their way to the Library. There, they meet Wong and Cavendish and a brunette girl, about 13 years old, armed with butterfly-swords. Drew stops in the doorway and wubbles. It's Kate, from Sam's dreams, but she shouldn't even be alive yet! Sam, Tori, and Michael barricade the doors and, with Tori's remaining minions, set up two points of defense: the outside doors, and the door to the stairwell leading down to the Special Archives where everyone else searches for Suliman's Grimoire. Hartsdale finds the book. It's written in Turkish, but that is one of the eight languages he reads. First is a description and history of the demons they're fighting. He skips that part. Next details the ritual of banishment. They need a minimum of four people who are not "native witches"—i.e., not magically talented—and a pint of dragon's blood. The ritualists go to the four cardinal points of the infested region and pour the blood in a circle, draw symbols on the ground, and chant in Turkish. They decide that each cardinal point should have a team of two: Drew and Ada. Joshua and Wong. Cavendish and Kate. But with Sam, Michael, and Tori manning the defense, and Juanita and Marcy non-combatant, that leaves Hartsdale alone. And where to get dragon's blood?

Sam steps out of the defense line for a moment and kneels beside Juanita, who's in intense pain, her eyes yellow and slit-pupiled, and her voice, when she speaks, hoarse and deep. Sam asks, respectfully, if she will donate a pint of blood to save their town. Juanita says "yes" and Sam quickly fetches the first aid kit from the library office and four coffee mugs. Sam draws the blood, all the while feeling that something inside Juanita is allowing this to happen. She thanks the unborn dragon for its help and distributes the blood to the four teams before returning to the fight. Tori and her minions are in their native element. This is the Alamo, but better! Tori has an expert, perfectly tuned force to work with, and her minions are inspired by religious fervor. Sam and Michael cover each flank. Once, they are beaten back to the stairwell, but Tori's minions perform a pincher maneuver, crushing gargoyles between them, and push back to the outer doors. Gargoyles converge on Michael, trying to catch him up and carry him off, but Sam cuts a swath through the enemy and pulls him back to the line.

The Watcher teams set out through the steam tunnels, from the library's furnace room to the parking garage. On the way, they meet two Special faculty members fighting four more gargoyles. Joshua and Drew kill the demons, but not before one of the teachers is killed. The other one carries her body back to the library. Drew has Sam's keys. Joshua hot-wires three other Jeeps, including Erik's. Covering Solomon County, Cavendish and Kate go north to the river. Wong and Joshua go south into farmland. Drew and Ada take the western edge, farthest into the woods, and Hartsdale takes Erik's Jeep to the east. When Hartsdale gets near his designated spot, he takes a crossbow and cold iron Viking sword from Erik's arsenal and heads into the woods. Drew and Ada have the longest hike between the road and their spot, but all four groups have radio walkie-talkies. When Ada and Drew are within fifteen minutes of their destination, the ritual begins. Hartsdale pours his circle of dragon blood and begins the symbols. Halfway through, he realizes that he's smudged one of them and re-draws it. Once all four parts of the ritual have begun, the gargoyles notice. The attack at the library ceases, and the entire gargoyle army flies off toward the four corners. Wong dies, and Joshua takes up the chant, successfully reading from Hartsdale's phonetic spelling of the Turkish words. Cavendish also succumbs to the gargoyles' attack, but his Potential Slayer—Kate—survives and completes their part of the ritual. Hartsdale cuts down the first gargoyle to reach him, and also completes his part the ritual. At Drew and Ada's corner, Ada goes down to the first wave of gargoyles, well before she can complete the ritual. A second wave is on the way—far too many for Drew to fight alone. He could easily complete the ritual before they get there, but it would mean abandoning Ada to the last survivors of the first wave. The fate of the entire town—not to mention his own life—may hang in the balance, but he can't bring himself to leave the Watcher to die. He stabs the final gargoyle before it can finish her off and only then turns his attention to the spell. It's almost too late—the lead gargoyle's claws are only feet from his face when he screams the last words of the spell and a hemisphere of protective energy spreads over Solomon, destroying any gargoyles caught within it.

5.16 Hissy Fit
Written and directed by Greg Pearson.
The events of this episode take place beween Saturday, March 18th and Tuesday, March 21st, 1995.
Teaser: A stone room, torch-lit, with a granite altar topped by a big clay bowl carved with Mayan symbols. A Mayan priest in full regalia looks up from the bowl and speaks to a number of men, dressed in ritual Jaguar and Eagle costumes. Subtitles: "She is coming!" One of the Jaguars asks, "Can it be stopped?" The priest answers, "No. It is too late for that, but we can prepare." The priest waves his hand over the water in the bowl. Reflected there is an image of Samantha Kessler leading Slayer Club through the Cancun airport. Erik, wearing his gloves of linebacker strength, is loaded down with several snakeskin-print suitcases. Walking beside him, Juanita looks miserable in a creased cotton maternity dress. Roll credits.

Tori's birthday was on Valentine's Day, but her father wanted to give her a lavish present: a Spring Break vacation in Cancun. Her father paid for three rooms at an all-inclusive resort, five plane tickets, and arrangements to see the nearby ruins of Chichen Itza on the equinox. A thousand years ago, the Mayans built the Great Pyramid as a solar calendar. On the spring and autumn equinoxes at dawn and at sunset the pyramid's shadows form the shape of a feathered serpent walking down the steps. If you stand in just the right spot, clapping hands echoes off the stones as a chirping birdcall. This phenomenon brings busloads of tourists deep into the jungle twice a year. In addition to Sam, Drew, Erik, and Joshua, Tori invites Juanita and Michael to come with. This spares Erik the pain that Juanita would inflict if he left her behind, and gives Michael the chance to see Mexico again, without a war going on.

During the van ride from the airport to the resort, Joshua makes friends with the driver. On arrival, he slips the man some money to buy weapons for them—just in case. Since when has Slayer Club ever had a purely relaxing vacation? Something evil is bound to happen. On Saturday, it rains. The only rainstorm in the entire month, and they got it! Outdoor activities are postponed. Joshua and Michael (using a glamour of a curly-haired lifeguard) hang out at the indoor pool. The German tourists love Michael's "look" and Joshua gets a speed date—from pick up line, to going upstairs, to getting slapped in a matter of hours. Juanita goes to lie down while Tori leads the rest in a campaign of shopping. Haggling so intense, it's the next best thing to combat. Tori loves it! Sam finds an appropriately hideous tropical shirt for Drew, and a second one for her father. Tori even gets a great deal on luggage in which to take home her purchases of pure vanilla, Mexican chocolate, silver jewelry, and pottery. For dinner, the resort offers any kind of food—except Mexican. Erik and Juanita eat at the Italian restaurant while the others eat sushi, except Sam, who gets a Kobe steak. After dinner, Joshua deals a poker game at the bar, cuts the bartender in, and proceeds to fleece the trust-fund college kids on spring break. Tori learns to play Go from the Japanese tourists, and gets amazingly good. Sam and Drew sit to one side, drinking colas and being moody. Ever since they met Kate in the flesh, they've both been withdrawn and distracted. Not that Drew's grades have suffered—much—but Sam's cut classes to get in extra patrol time. Michael notices their mood and approaches Sam with some advice. They're mourning. He knows the signs, but it's premature. Even if they don't have much time, they should enjoy it as much as possible and not borrow sadness from tomorrow. He asks if Sam has considered the route that Erik and Juanita are taking. Sam blushes. She's thought about getting married in a wistful kind of way, but she doesn't want Drew to have to live as a widower the rest of his life. Michael knows what that's like. He's been a widower for five thousand years, but he wouldn't have traded the time he had with Shu for anything in the universe. That night, Sam dreams about the line of Slayers and commiserates with Kate about what happened to her Watcher—just recently for Sam, but years ago to Kate. Sam knows why Kate couldn't mention the fact that they'd met. Instead of fifty years in the future, Sam is looking at five.

Sunday morning is sunny and Slayer Club hits the beach. Michael quietly arranges a day at the resort's spa for Juanita. Tori gets a boogey-board and takes to the waves. Sam and Michael try parasailing. Joshua, Erik, and Drew play pick-up volleyball with beautiful women, although Erik has to resist the temptation to flirt too much. Joshua is quite willing to take up the slack. One particularly athletic Mexican woman named Luz takes a fancy to Erik, so, to cool him off, Sam takes Erik parasailing. Whether it's the heat or the hot women, Drew is completely distracted and winds up with more sand on his face than on his feet. Sunday dinner at the Brazilian steakhouse—meat, and more meat! Afterwards, Joshua, Erik, and a spa-relaxed Juanita dance at the resort's discotheque. Michael squires Tori in the Big Band Room. Sam and Drew slow-dance and she tells him what Michael said, about mourning and carpe diem. They don't know what exactly the future holds, so, maybe, they can let go and be just a little bit happy? Having fun is easy for Joshua. Monday morning, he wakes up in bed with two beautiful women who slap him in sequence. At breakfast, the Japanese tourists all gather around the TV news. Officially, the Tokyo subway was evacuated because of a "bad smell". Michael calls Temple HQ to find out more details. They say that the Tokyo police raided a doomsday cult who put sarin gas on the subway. Four people died from direct contact with the poison and the subway was immobilized during the investigation. But, in spite of the bad news, the vernal equinox won't wait.

The bus to Chichen Itza and the nearby town of Piste loads up with tourists. The drive through the jungle is warm and steamy on mostly empty road punctuated by tollbooths, leading to a small, dirty town filled with tourist-trap stores. The seven members of Slayer Club are all jammed into one room at the town's best hotel, with peeling yellow stucco and iffy plumbing, but this part of the trip isn't about the amenities. It's about the history and legends of the Maya. Erik's snake-tattoos almost vibrate with the nearness of primordial reptile-energy and, the closer they get, the more excited Juanita gets. This area is steeped in the worship of Kulkulcan, the winged serpent. A benign deity said to protect his worshippers and inspire great feats of athletic prowess on the ball court. The players had good incentive. In ancient times, the entire losing team would be sacrificed to the god. Slayer Club decides to tour the ruins early to scope out good spots to watch the sunrise. Most of them walk; Juanita and Erik take the bus. They tour the ruins and then return to town for dinner—real Mexican food at a local restaurant. When they get back to the hotel, they find a note under their door, requesting a meeting at the temple at 11 pm. It's unsigned, but of course Slayer Club goes to find out what's up. They have the weapons that Joshua got for them, just in case it's a trap. (What are the odds?) Joshua bribes the bus driver to take them back to the ruins and wait in the parking lot. At the gates, Luz meets them, now dressed in khaki shorts and shirt with a small backpack. She's a student in Mayan history and archaeology at the University of Mexico City, which has an outpost here to study the ruins. The researchers found that the ruins have been used for serpent-worship, recently. Fresh blood appeared on the stones and some local people have disappeared. But without bodies, the authorities won't investigate. Tomorrow's equinox coincides with a planetary conjunction—the most powerful equinox in recent history. If this cult of serpent worshippers is planning a big sacrifice, it will be before sunrise, when all the tourists arrive. The authorities won't do anything, but perhaps the American demon hunters will help? Of course! Stopping ritual sacrifices is one of Slayer Club's favorite things to do on vacation. Luz's University ID and a bribe get them past the guards. There are three areas to cover: the great pyramid with the nearby ball-court, the university grounds on the western side, and the holy well—or cenote—at the far eastern edge. This well was sacred to Kulkulcan because the water goes deep. There are no lakes or rivers running through the Yucatan, so all springs and sinkholes like this were vital to the ancient peoples. Most were sources of drinking water, but some were used in religious rites, to accept the bodies of the sacrifices. Slayer Club splits up to cover all three areas. Tori and Michael patrol between the pyramid and the ball-court. The resonance of the game/battles that occurred there make Tori's spine tingle. Erik and Juanita go with Luz to the University grounds. There isn't much there, just the ruins of dormatories and an ancient observatory. Juanita sits on the ground and begins a ritual to summon Ochosi, the loa of hunters, to help them. Erik and Luz climb the observatory where they can see more ground. Sam, Drew, and Joshua cover the sacred well and surrounding jungle—which seems like the most likely place for the serpant cultists to show up—watching carefully for anything moving.

Shadows move. Men dressed in jaguar skins gather, but not at the well; at the University. Luz shoots Erik with a silenced pistol, but in the dark, with a moving target, her bullets don't hit anything vital. Erik screams for help and jumps down the tumbled wall of the observatory back to Juanita's side. The jaguar warriors strike to subdue and interrupt her summoning ritual. When Erik screams, everyone runs to that location, except Joshua who stays in the trees near the well, ready to signal if the cultists circle back. Sam runs flat-out, only slowing a little to cut down five cultists who get in her way. At the Observatory, she spots blood on the ground and tracks it to a ruined building with a hole and ladder in the floor. More jaguar warriors guard the way, but Sam and Michael take them out. Tori cuts Luz before she can shoot again. At the bottom of the ladder, firelight and voices: the high priest gloats about capturing not only the "male and female Guardians," but also "the Serpent itself!" Juanita battles the high priest with magic. Erik tackles the cultist who hit her and pounds him to a bloody pulp. Sam, Michael, and Tori fight more than a dozen cultists. Every swing of their blades takes one down. It's quickly over. Juanita takes a dagger from her pack and chants a spell as she cuts off, and then pins the high priest's face to the wall. Now, they can have a little chat. Her serpent god is trying to manifest and their god doesn't like what her god is doing. So, their god is basically having a hissy fit because it's being out-maneuvered. Figuring it's as much honor as a failed cult can hope for, Slayer Club weights the bodies and throws them down the sacred well, where they disappear without a trace. After missing the fight, Joshua re-joins the group for the clean up. He takes Luz's ID and pack because he knows some people who can help cover up the "accidental" death of a University student. Sam and Tori do first aid on Erik's wounds, then they pay the van driver an extortionate sum to take them directly back to the resort. There's no way Slayer Club will go to the sunrise gathering now, but at sunset, Sam and Drew take a walk on the beach. Drew wears his tropical shirt and Sam reveals another present she got for him.

Interlude: A Decent Proposal
Written by Jodi Roosenraad and Greg Pearson.
The events of this story take place on Tuesday, March 21st, 1995.
At long last.

5.17 Four Funerals and a Wedding
Written and directed by Greg Pearson.
The events of this episode take place between Thursday, April 13 and Sunday, April 16, 1995.
Teaser: April 14th, 1970—Quy Dinh, North Vietnam. A line of Vietnamese men dressed in black and carrying AK-47s weave through the jungle, single file. In the dark, they pass an even darker shadow just before reaching a starlit clearing with a circle of thatched huts. The shadow moves, and the last man in line gets a hand across his mouth and a blackened combat knife across his throat. Some of the Viet Cong go into the dark huts while others fan out to cover the village perimeter. The shadow resolves into a camouflaged American soldier, his face and hands blackened with soot and an M-16 slung across his back. He moves silently from sentry to sentry. His combat knife slashes two more throats, but the third sentry spots him before he can strike. Alarm! More Viet Cong run from the huts and give chase. The American runs, dodges, swings up into a tree, takes out his radio and calls in a mayday. "Recon Ferryman reporting. Airstrike needed at the following coordinates. VC meeting point. No civilians nearby. Send in the birds! Ferryman out." The radio dispatcher relays the coordinates. Kestrel responds to Ferryman's call, his jet streaking out of the sky. Close-up on the pilot's face: a much younger and very eager Samuel Kessler. Firebombs turn the night into day. Ferryman jumps down from the tree, but is brought up short by a Vietnamese vampire in game-face, covered in blood from his gaping throat. "Hey! Yankee! That hurt!" The vampire lunges. Credits.

Thursday, 14th April 1995—Easter weekend. Erik and Juanita's wedding is on Sunday. Joshua's mother decorates the Monastery with flowers, candles, and a ceiling-net full of balloons in the Great Hall. Sister Isabella of the Benandanti will officiate and the New York bakery where Andrea Czarbach is moonlighting between off-off-off-Broadway appearances does the catering. Drew is Erik's best man, but in planning Erik's bachelor party he defers to Joshua. Cora lays plans for Juanita's bachelorette party. Tori weeps over the lizard-green dresses Juanita chose for them to wear—guaranteed to make the bridesmaids look more ill than the bride. Thursday night, Sam and Drew stake out the Crimson and Gray bar and follow a blonde hippie girl and a drunken football player down an alley. When Sam pulls the vampire off the linebacker, the girl drops her game-face and pleads for her un-life. She claims to have information that's worth being released: there's a special vampire in town, a Green Beret when he was alive, called the Ferryman, like the dude on the river Styx. The hippie chick wouldn't know a Green Beret from a Gucci, but she knows he hunts demon hunters. He's in Solomon, and he's gunning for the Slayer. That's a good warning. The Slayer should let her go, now. Sam disagrees and stakes her anyway. Drew thinks that's a bit mean, but he's not going to argue. They go to the Sacred Grounds to ask Ada if she's heard of this Ferryman. She has. Ada knows a Watcher who lost his Potential Slayer to him. At first, they thought it wasn't a vampire, because the Ferryman shot her, instead of draining her. But he left his trademark: two gold coins on her eyes.

Friday, in the spirit of the wedding and Easter weekend, Michael assigns his class a report on mythological romances that turned out well. No Romeos and Juliets need apply. Perhaps Bouccis and Philomon, the Ancient Greek couple who only wished to die within the same minute, so neither had to live without the other. After class, Sam finds a gold foil wrapped chocolate coin in her mailbox. That evening, two women in dark blue suits knock on Erik's door, flash badges and ask him to come with them. Of course, he goes. They bundle him into a black Suburban and crowd into the back seat with him. When he asks what this is about, the brunette pulls the pins out of her hair, releasing a cloud of curls, and the blonde throws off her glasses with one hand and unbuttons her suit-jacket with the other. The Suburban rocks down the street with loud music and purple strobe lights. They deposit Erik at the Solomon airport with lipstick-kisses all over his face. Joshua, Drew, Magnus, Tony, and Michael are already there. They board a private jet owned by Joshua's father's casino and fly to Atlantic City, where they are wined and dined at the casino, a top-ranked steakhouse, and several strip-clubs, in alternating order. Back in Solomon, Cora presents all the girls of St. Hubert's with "I'm with the Bride" T-shirts in pink and green. Juanita's shirt says, "I AM the bride," and she gets a sparkly tiara and veil. They have a delicious dinner at the Foundry and then barhop through every pub in Solomon County (except Blaire's). Sam is the designated driver. Afterward, they return to the Vastarleys' house where Cora hired a troupe of exotic dancers—both men and women—to entertain everyone. Juanita delegates others to drink and eat Jell-O shots for her. Tori dances with the male dancers. Cora dances with the female dancers. Sam blushes a lot.

Saturday about noon, Erik stumbles back to his room to sleep. For a moment, he thinks he's in Tony or Joshua's room by mistake, but the door was unlocked, and there are no American Gladiators on the wall. It's his room all right, but it's clean! And what's that smell? Lemony-fresh. Ahhh... Sleep is good. Erik wakes up much later to another knock on his door. Remembering what happened last time, he checks the peephole first. Michael stands in the hall with a wrapped present from him and Tori, for Erik to wear at his wedding, if he would like. Erik brushes his teeth and then rips open the box. It's a silver Celtic torc patterned with stars of David and stylized flames, set with cabochon jades at each end. Of course he'll wear it tomorrow. Wow. He's getting married tomorrow! Erik suddenly needs to draw. Grabbing clothing that has been folded and put away—what a concept! Erik heads to the art studio. Hours later, he's produced a poster of him and Juanita facing a dark cave opening. She's carrying a baby in a backpack and has a fireball in her right hand. Erik has his gloves on and hammer raised. The baby's mouth is open in laughter. Erik drew the child as human, but with yellow, slit-pupil eyes, the only sign that it isn't, quite. It could work, to be parents and still fight evil. It could work.

Saturday afternoon Sam tells the rest of Slayer Club about the Ferryman. Figuring that the most tempting target would be the wedding, when everyone will be in one place, Sam and Tori add to the decorations. Sam sets her wedding present—a chrome and copper family of dragons—on the head table and fills all the decorative bowls with holy water. Tori finds good hiding spots for her sword, a crossbow, and her fire-ray gun. Sam hides her axe under the altar, but that doesn't feel right. She decides to keep it with her instead. For his "last meal of freedom" Erik decides he wants sausage, sauerkraut, and good beer, so the bachelor party drives up to a German restaurant in Vermont. Juanita takes her party to her father's mansion at the edge of town, where his cook serves them a Cajun/Creole feast. After dinner, Sam drives Juanita back to the Vastarley's house where she's staying with Cora and Sister Isabella until the wedding. Sam and Tori park their cars and walk back St. Hubert's. There's a gunshot. Sam's hit in the back. She falls to make a smaller target while she looks for the shooter. For cover, Tori sets the shrubbery on fire. There's a second muzzle flash across the quad in an upper window of the library. Once inside their dorm, Sam borrows one of Mari Jergen's flying creatures (a stirge) to reconnoiter, but the shadow at the window is gone. While Sam's flying behind the stirge's eyes, the boys return from dinner. Joshua runs to the library and finds another gold foil-wrapped chocolate coin on the windowsill. Using a silk handkerchief, he brings the coin back. Sam does a seeker spell to locate its owner, and the sand settles at St. Hubert's! Floor-by-floor, Slayer Club searches their dorm, but it's all clear. Maybe "owner" wasn't specific enough. If the Ferryman intended the coin as a gift for Sam, the magic might consider her to be its owner. In any case, the Ferryman isn't here. They know there's a tunnel from the library to the parking lot. Joshua checks Sam's Jeep, and finds a wad of C-4 wired to the ignition. Erik's Jeep is clean, but Tori's Volvo is also wired to explode. Joshua disarms both bombs and pockets the explosive. This could come in handy, later. Slayer Club returns to the Vastarleys' to warn Juanita. Tonight is the full moon and Sister Isabella is feeling wolfy, so she offers to help track the Ferryman by smell. Michael borrows Mrs. Vastarley's computer with its DSL line to hack some DOD records. (Not as difficult as it would be a few years later.) Donald Gibbons, a.k.a., the Ferryman, last survivor of his Force Recon team, was lost in the firebombing of Quy Dinh village twenty-five years ago. His body was never found. He's listed as MIA—presumed dead and was awarded several medals posthumously. Michael also finds a note about the pilot who responded. He tries to break the news gently, but Sam's already guessed that her father might be a target. She knows reminding her Dad of those times is harsh, but she has to ask. He sighs. There were lots of fire-bombings back then. Samuel doesn't remember Ferryman, or Quy Dinh specifically. Joshua offers to check Mr. Kessler's vehicles—the garage is being rebuilt, and they have a brand-new tow truck—but Samuel snorts. He can check them himself. Joshua gives him one of the bombs and shows how it was rigged to Samantha's Jeep. That upsets Samuel more than bad memories. He promises to not make himself an easy target. Slayer Club goes up to the Brew Pub to get the Kevlar vests that Mr. Kessler bought for them, but are seldom used. A wolf howl sounds outside. Sister Isabella is on the trail, but it's cold. A sense of palpable tension covers the Brew Pub. Ferryman's out there. They know it, but if they wait too long, he'll disappear before sunrise. Sam and Michael put their heads together.

Outside the Brew Pub, Samantha Kessler stalks out the front door and throws her helmet on the ground in frustration. Her mouth moves, "If you want me, come and get me!" but the wind takes her words away. A gun flares in the grass between the pub and the woods. The bullet hits her between the eyes. Blood spatters. Sam's body falls, twitching to the ground. Three crossbow bolts and an arrow fly from the Brew Pub's windows. Erik's bolt finds the grass-covered ghillisuit first. Next, an arrow carrying a cloth soaked in holy water. The other two bolts are superfluous. Michael waves his hand and wipes his face. The illusion he made of Sam's dead body dissolves in a spiral of sand and wind. Sam leaves the Brew Pub for real and checks what is left of the Ferryman. The ghillisuit collapses, empty except for a well-cared-for antique sniper's rifle, a blackened combat knife, and a pile of dust.

Sunday morning, Joshua examines the Monastery by daylight and finds more packets of C-4 wired to the main pillars of the chapel. He adds them to his growing stock of explosives. Mrs. Archer is embarrassed that she didn't spot them herself. Early Easter mass at St. Catherine's celebrates the rededication of the church. That afternoon, Drew escorts Cora down the Monastery's aisle. Joshua escorts Tori. Just as they part at the front of the chapel, he whispers, "I think this constitutes a second date." There's nothing she can say in return, but the ambient temperature of the room rises a couple degrees. Erik is wearing his silver torc with his tux, and looking very handsome and clean, for once in his life. Juanita appears on her father's arm, also wearing a silver torc from Tori and Michael. Juanita's is scaled, with cabochon rubies held in snake's mouths. As Sister Isabella begins the service, Juanita passes Erik a note containing his vows, which he'd forgotten about until just now. She's given him the "love, honor, and obey" line, which he says proudly. She promises to love, honor, and cherish him and they both promise to protect each other, as long as they both shall live. Sister Isabella pronounces them wife and husband, and they kiss. At the reception, Drew presents Erik with a box of 1st edition, signed comic books, and Juanita with a leather-bound grimoire of serpent magic. Sam's present, in addition to the dragon sculpture, is free vehicle maintenance at Kessler's garage for both of them for life. Joshua gives Juanita an envelope containing a single piece of parchment: a deed for a hundred acres of land in Texas, including two small hills that appear totally unremarkable from the outside. The state wouldn't sell the mineral rights, but everything else is theirs. Juanita kisses Joshua soundly and jokes that she wants to marry him, too (and, now that she has a compound in Texas, she could!). Monday morning, just before dawn, Erik dreams: once again he's in the candlelit tower bedroom. Gwen lies in the bed. Slowly, she wakes. Eyes open. She slides out from between the sheets, red silk shaping itself to her body. She takes a step towards him, raises her arms; hands now even with his throat, fingers curved.

Epilogue: Across town, in a basement dedicated to peace and love, vampire-style, the gray-haired Karaoke Vamp sits in a beanbag chair, contemplating the shifting red and yellow patterns in a lava lamp. He takes a hit off a bong and holds the smoke in. Another hippie vampire slinks in the door. "Dude. The Slayer killed the Ferryman." Karaoke Vamp exhales and nods. "Good. The way we want it." The younger vamp is confused. "We do? But if he killed her, then it'd be done. Right? Why'd we go and warn her?" Karaoke Vamp just stares at him. "We warned her because there was a very small chance that Ferryman could have done for her." The younger vamp doesn't get it, so the elder asks another question. "Do you know what you get when you kill the Slayer?" The young vampire smiles, "Fame? Glory? Chicks!" Mild annoyance. "No, you idiot. When you kill the Slayer, you get another Slayer. And you don't know who she is, or where she is, or what her weaknesses are. We've put in too much work to have everything derailed by a last minute change of Slayers. So, right now, like it or not, we are Sam Kessler's guardian angels."

5.18 Mastermind
Written by Greg Pearson and Tim Ballew, directed by Tim Ballew.
The events of this episode take place on Friday, April 28 and Saturday, April 29, 1995.
Mr. Tyler and Herr Cole enter the Sacred Grounds, chatting amiably, and get coffee. Russell Barrows sees them, blanches, and runs to the pay phone. Cut to: Karaoke Vamp talking on the phone. "No. It's too risky. You know what's at stake. I said no!" A deep, sepulchral voice in his ear says: "I am aware of how much effort you have put in to this plan, but you owe me. Your plan would have been a complete failure without my help. And I really do insist. I promise not to screw up your plan by killing her. But that doesn't mean I can't have some fun with her." Credits.

On a ridge above Solomon's Main Street, a large blue demon with curling ram's horns hefts a rocket launcher, sighting down at Sam Kessler and the Women of St. Hubert's, all wearing "I've got the bride's back" T-shirts. The blue demon thumbs off the safety, then suddenly jerks and falls over, revealing two hippie-vampires holding tasers. "Dude, that was totally uncool." Oblivious, Sam's bachelorette party approaches Drew's bachelor party from the opposite direction. Tori and Erik nod to each other, blindfold Sam and Drew, and hustle them into waiting cars. When the blindfolds come off, both parties are at Blaire's. Erik and Michael guard the doors to keep the demons from leaving, while Sam and Drew take over the Karaoke machine. Blaire tries to get them to leave, but they won't, so she gets out some vodka, tequila and human-safe mixers. Might as well make some money off this. Ada gets drunk. Sam and Drew sing, "I'm a little bit country. I'm a little bit rock & roll". Tori belts out "R-E-S-P-E-C-T". Erik screams something by the Pixies and the demons head-bang with him. Sam gets four other demons to stand up and sing "YMCA" with the Slayer. Joshua knows what's coming next, and wants no part of it. Instead, he chats up a succubus and they slip out together. After Blaire's, Sam's party goes to the Sacred Grounds for more chocolate than should really be legal and a wall of embarrassing baby pictures that Tori got from Mr. Kessler. Drew's second act is at the newly renovated Paradise Theater, which Erik rented for the night. They have Star Trek 4 and Terminator interspersed with embarrassing home movies of Drew's childhood. Blaire takes a huge breath of relief when they're all gone, and makes a phone call.

Saturday morning, the groom's party has breakfast at the Quarterback Club; the bride's at the Blue Plate Diner. Mr. Tyler and Herr Cole offer Drew congratulations, but there's also business to discuss. They've finally come to an agreement about the amulet Drew has been holding for them. Mr. Tyler will get the amulet and Herr Cole will get a "sweet deal" of treasure in exchange, along with "an apprentice to be named later." All they have to do is collect it. On the way to the Brew Pub, Drew asks Pandora to check if Cole is acting under duress. She consults her spell notebook. As far as she can tell, there's no coercion, magical or otherwise. This is his choice. The mages applaud Drew's caution. Before turning it over, Drew wants to know what the amulet is and why Tyler plans to do with it. It's a very powerful, single-use component for spells manipulating time. With other rare items, it could even be used to travel back in time. Herr Cole wanted to use it to prevent the downfall of the Bavarian Illuminati. Mr. Tyler wants another chance with a woman he loved and lost. After years of debate, Cole reluctantly agreed that his plan would be too disruptive and there'd still be no guarantee of success. So, he'll take his consolation prizes and bow out. However, when they reach the vault and Tyler, Cole, and Erik use their rings to open the box, it's empty. Tyler is apoplectic. Cole's not happy either. They hold Drew responsible. He has 24 hours to find the amulet, or there will be dire consequences. Like for example, right now Drew is late for his wedding!

Erik drives like Joshua rides, but still manages to get them to the church in one piece. Sam paces the bride's room. Drew would not get cold feet and leave her at the altar. She's just short of going out to track him down when Drew arrives, out of breath. Father Leoni signals the organist to begin Paschabel's Canon. Hartsdale and Ada process, he in a black tuxedo with a blue-gray tie and cummerbund, she in a blue-gray sheath dress with a bouquet of white daffodils. Michael and Pandora process, and then cross to opposite sides, Pandora standing next to Hartsdale, Michael beside Ada. Tori walks alone because Erik is still in the car, searching for the rings. The music shifts to Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" and Sam appears on her father's arm. Drew stops breathing for a moment and grins. Sam grins back. Tori's tailor transformed her mother's old-fashioned gown into a Greek goddess halter-top with a full double skirt like Audrey Hepburn wore in Sabrina. In his dress uniform, Mr. Kessler walks proudly, leaning on a cane. Father Leoni asks, "If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." Sam glances at the Watchers, but Hartsdale only smiles. Ada sniffles. On the bride's side of the sanctuary, Professor Malion loudly blows his nose. He loves weddings! Sam chose the readings, from the book of Ruth: "Where you go, I shall go. Your family will be my family, and your God, my God." And from Corinthians I: "Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary. There are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease. There is knowledge, but it will pass. For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial, but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear... Meanwhile, these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love, and the greatest of these is Love." Fra Murphy gives a homily on the nature of love, human and divine, and the life of the visionary Saint Catherine of Sienna, whose holy day is today. Mass is celebrated, and, just in time, Erik slips in beside Drew, patting his pocket. The rings are blessed, and Sam and Drew vow to love honor and cherish each other, "as long as we both shall live." As the rain pours down the stained glass windows, Sam and Drew kiss.

Photographs follow. Mr. Kessler hired a limousine to take them to the reception at the Sacred Grounds. Tori and her mother donated the catering: a beautiful cake decorated with colored sugar-crystals, a chocolate groom's cake shaped like a stack of comic books, sparkling apple juice for toasts, and Andrea Czarbach's brownies. (Andrea is realizing how much money she can make on a wedding—more than an off-Broadway production of "Oklahoma!" for sure.) Erik hired a DJ, and Juanita hangs over his shoulder making suggestions. Joshua disappears with one of Drew's cousins (apparently, the thing with the succubus didn't work out...). Michael gives Sam and Drew matching ruby rings emblazoned with gold Templar crosses. He whispers that Erik prepared the rings' enchantment and Michael put a piece of himself inside. Some of his knowledge, gleaned from centuries, would always be with them. Sam is awed. She hugs and kisses Michael and Erik. Drew fills them all in on why he was late. Whoever took the amulet had to have access to the vault, and the three rings to open the box. There's only one person at Martense who could have seen all three and copied them: Russell. Making their goodbyes, Slayer Club takes the limo to Martense to change wedding attire for hunting gear. They intercept Russell carrying suitcases to a taxi, which Michael pays to leave. With a little arm-twisting from Sam, Russell talks. Years ago, he copied his father's ring to get into the locked liquor cabinet. About six months ago, a vampire named Mr. Howe paid him a lot of money to make copies of Tyler and Cole's rings and help them break into Slayer Club's vault. Russell didn't care about any of his father's junk, but if Howe was going to pay him to get it, okay. When he spotted Tyler and Cole at the Sacred Grounds the night before, he knew the jig was up and decided to skip town—if only the reception had gone a little bit longer! Russell doesn't know about the other vampires involved, but Howe has a lair in the witch tunnels. Slayer Club takes Russell with, to open the door and keep an eye on him.

A dark stairway curves downwards. At the bottom, the door closes with a grinding click. Forward into the labyrinth. The first torch-lit room has a deep pit, a chess table, and two flat bags, white and black, lying on the floor. Tori ponders the wrongness of the chess layout from a tactical perspective. Drew shines his light into the pit, lined with spikes. Forty feet below is another door. Michael tries to summon climbing gear, but gets nothing. After a long discussion about the efficacy of moving the pieces (not magical) or the chess-table (also mundane), or investigating the two bags (highly magical) Drew reaches into the white bag and pulls out a 10' rope and a metal bar engraved with "hold" and "move". Michael reaches his left hand into the black bag and pulls out the bloody stump of his wrist. (Bad bag!) Fortunately, Michael can regenerate his hand, but it will take weeks. In the meantime, Sam binds the wound. Pandora consults her spell book. Tori mutters over the chessboard. It's just not right! Better to go on the offensive, so Tori moves the white queen to take the black one. Drew makes a Hellfire Club joke, but nothing else happens. Tori puts the chess piece into the white bag, and nothing continues to happen. Drew holds the metal bar and mutters, "hold." The bar freezes, unsupported in the air. When he says, "move," it falls normally. Sam sweeps the chessboard clear and flips the table over. On the bottom is a hinged ring. Former Girl Scout Sam threads the bar through the ring and lashes it tight with the rope. She and Erik maneuver the table over the pit and Drew says, "hold." The bar and table freeze in mid-air. Everyone climbs on board, holding onto each other. Drew says, "Move-hold" all the way to the bottom. Sam takes the rope and rod to keep, and they exit through the lower door. A familiar sepulchral voice intones, "Well, that took longer than expected." Four crystals in the corners of the room sparkle in the torchlight. Room #2 has a pentagram with five burning tallow candles, an hourglass about half empty, and two wooden treasure chests. This time, the door is up near the ceiling. Pandora examines the pentagram. The demon it summons is seriously nasty. One of the treasure chests is filled with coins, half an inch thick. The other has four metal flasks—Pandora translates, "glue". As the hourglass drains down, Slayer Club glues the coins to the wall, making hand and foot holds to climb up to the ledge. They make it with only grains to spare. The door is covered in runes used in teleport spells. Everyone holds hands and steps through the portal. Room #3: they all arrive separately anyhow, on balconies in each corner: Drew and Russell; Sam and Erik; Michael and Tori; and Pandora by herself. There's a square hole in the ceiling and a giant Cthulioid thing writhing on the floor far below. On each balcony is a potion-bottle, with three letters and a warning label: "This may contain a potion of Climb, Blur, Water Walking, or Poison." And just to make things more interesting, no one in the room can speak. But Michael holds up his copper flask and draws the letters "ION" in the air. More crystals sparkle on the ceiling and the deep voice says, "Well, I didn't expect that." Sam uses her hands to shape "ALL," the letters on her pink glass bottle. Pandora does YMCA style body-letters to spell "ITE" from her blue bottle. Drew draws "RAT" in the air with his finger. His bottle is white. Sam thinks she has the poison in her pink bottle. If she's wrong, they could lose something useful, but if she's right—she throws it down on the demon, which screams and dies a horrible death. Since Michael only has one hand, Tori quaffs the copper climbing potion and ferries everyone up to the hole in the ceiling. Pandora wants to go down, not up, so Tori takes her down next to the dead demon. Frowning up at the crystals, Pandora drinks her potion of blur and nearly disappears. She runs around the demon and then returns to Tori. They climb back up and out the hole. In the corridor above, Slayer Club can talk again. Sam asks Michael for a boost. She wrenches one of the spy crystals out of the wall. The deep voice chides her that she's wasting time, but it makes Sam feel better. Room #4 is a lava pit, except for several rocks about ten feet apart. Tori concentrates and sucks the heat from a five-foot area, making solid basalt, but the effort is too much. If she keeps going, she'll be exhausted and no good for a fight afterward. Erik finds two ten-foot long boards and a pair of fireproof gloves. They could make a floating bridge, but the boards are too flimsy to stand on, so it's the long way: two over, one back. He and Drew begin. Pandora pulls Sam aside. There has to be another way. Sam agrees. She's also curious about what Pandora got in the last room: a vial of demon blood, which could be useful some time. They draw a rough map of the dungeon on the floor. Sam grinds the crystal she took under her heel and casts her Seeker spell. The crystal powder settles in the room with the pentagram. Erik and Drew didn't get very far across the lava, so they come back. Michael casts darkness to block the spy crystals and Slayer Club retraces their steps. They use the rope and rod to swing down to a balcony. Sam goes first. Pandora freezes, but Michael carries her, swinging one-handed. Drew, Erik, and Russell get over, but Tori, still tired from draining the heat out of the lava, nearly falls. Sam catches her and pulls her up. Back through the teleport door and down the coins to the empty pentagram. Pandora changes a couple of runes and chants an incantation.

Slayer Club appears in a room with six vampires in game-face, and a black and gold-flecked orb on a golden pedestal next to a control panel full of buttons. The minions attack while their leader, an intense, dark-eyed vampire wearing a very dapper pinstriped suit, runs for the door. Sam sprints, but the door slams in her face and two vamps jump her. Michael pursues the fleeing leader. Tori and Erik spar with a vampire each. Pandora kicks another vamp in the 'nads. Drew dodges every attack thrown at him. Sam bisects one vampire, but the second one tasers her. Michael runs down a hall lined with cages of demons toward another room with a pentagram. He has to catch the vampire leader before he reaches that escape. It takes more than a taser to stop Sam. She shakes it off and impales her second vampire. Tori beheads hers and then helps Drew. Erik smashes his to pulp. Pandora's vampire catches her and sinks its teeth in. Sam stakes it from behind. Michael summons a bomb and throws it. The explosion knocks the dapper vampire down. Meanwhile, Russell tries to make the orb work. Failing that, he pushes control buttons at random. All of the demon cages open. Michael yells "Solaris Lux" and throws a beam of sunlight. The vampire cowers magnificently from the light, or possibly the hydra towering over him. The hydra bites the vampire in half and spits out dust. Michael runs back to the control room and slams the door behind him. Sam knocks Russell out. Drew ties him up and smacks him until he comes to and starts babbling (or maybe gloating; it's hard to tell). Mr. Howe was Russell's only contact, although he's pretty sure he was working for somebody else. It was their idea for Blaire to send Slayer Club to the farmhouse that night, so that they'd be out on Route 7 when the vampires staged their attack on Misha and Ivan to make it look like they were after the Book of Prophecy (which they'd actually sold to Misha and Ivan to get it into Slayer Club's hands). Sure enough, that convinced Slayer Club to keep the book in their vault, giving the vampires the perfect excuse to raid it without arousing suspicion that they might be after something else. The next morning, Mr. Howe and his conspirators went to the Brew Pub through the demon tunnels. Mr. Howe had the three rings. One of the other vampires, a safecracker hired from a criminal gang in New York, opened the Brew Pub vault. Then, they and "some grey-haired hippie dude" opened the box, removed the amulet, and sealed it again. Once Howe, Russell, and the hippie left through the demon's belly, the other vampires took the Book of Prophecy out the front door, setting off the wards. Slayer Club showed up, hunted them down, recovered the book, and congratulated themselves on a job well done, while Mr. Howe and the hippie escaped with the real prize, and Russell and Blaire got fat payoffs. Russell looks smug until Sam knocks him out again.

That night, Sam dreams. She doesn't need to guess how many Slayers are in line ahead of her. She can count them on one hand. However, when she looks back at herself, she's wearing her wedding ring! Kate says, "Congratulations, Sam. Not many of us get to wear one of those." Down the hall, Erik dreams: Gwen in her tower; red and gold tapestries; candlelight. She gets up, walks slowly towards him. She reaches, fingers curled, to his throat, but then her hands open. Her palms are cold as they caress his face—but not half as cold as the look in her eyes when she gazes down at Erik in bed with Juanita, obviously pregnant, asleep beside him. Erik realizes that he's awake! Gwen is in his bedroom, standing over him. He screams.

5.19 Rebirth
Written and directed by Greg Pearson.
The events of this episode take place on Sunday, April 30 and Monday, May 1, 1995.
Erik dreams his boring dream again. Gwen, the titian-haired vampire, wakes up in her gold and red brocaded bedroom right out of a fairy tale. She slides out of bed and slowly walks toward Erik, fingers curled into claws, but then opens her hands and caresses his face. Her hands are cold as the grave. Erik wakes up confused. Gwen stands over him, glaring furiously at Juanita on his other side. Erik looks back at Gwen, realizes that he's not dreaming anymore, and screams! From next door, Callie pounds on the wall and yells for Erik to be quiet. Down the hall, Tori wakes up and grabs her sword—that yell sounded different from the ones that usually come from Erik's room late at night. Gwen is pissed! Not only is Erik in bed with another woman, he's having a baby with her! She looks around and pulls a short sword out of Erik's overflowing laundry hamper. Erik jumps out of bed and grabs a flail out of his closet, keeping himself between his wife and the vampire. Juanita wakes up and force-blasts Gwen across the room, sending her crashing into the wall. Erik wraps his flail around the sword, but Gwen throws it away and jumps out the window, spraying glass onto the lawn. Tori kicks down Erik's door, looking around for trouble. Juanita clutches her abdomen. Her water just broke. Erik screams again. Credits.

Tori calls Michael to start the phone-tree. Michael leaves messages for Ada and Pandora to tell them about Gwen, and then calls Juanita's father and Erik's parents to give them the news about the baby. Erik starts throwing things into a duffel, but Juanita's already packed a bag with everything she might need, from infant diapers to a small crossbow and stakes (just in case), with a folder with all their paperwork on top. Juanita calls her "special" midwife to meet them at the hospital. Tori drives, since Erik is in no condition. Michael leaves notes for Sam, Drew, and Joshua under their doors outlining what happened. Just as the sun comes up, Joshua gets slapped and Drew's cousin slams her hotel room door in his face. Across town, Sam and Drew lie in bed in a re-renovated Brew Pub and joke about their first night there pushing the sofas together. Joshua rides back to St. Hubert's and calls Buildings and Grounds about Erik's broken window. Tori offers to pay for the door. Not that Erik is thinking about broken windows right now. Juanita's labor screams threaten to shatter the hospital's. The doctors give her an epidural, and fortunately, it works. When the Sacred Grounds opens, Michael buys coffee and muffins for everyone. Ada and Pandora join everyone in the waiting room. Sam and Drew finally get up and dress for church, since it is Sunday. Surprisingly, they see Joshua at St. Catherine's. He wanted to ask Father Leoni about how to keep a vampire out once it's been invited in. Both Father Leoni and Ada know the ritual for that, but the priest is kind of busy with Sunday Mass. Now that Sam and Drew are up to date, Joshua leaves to find Ada and Pandora. Glad to be of help, they re-seal Erik's room so Gwen can't return. Unfortunately, a hospital room is too public for the ritual to work there. After church, Sam and Drew search St. Hubert's for any clues Gwen might have left: a hair, a footprint, a spot of blood on the broken glass. B&G cleaned up thoroughly. Sam can tell that Gwen left in a northerly direction, but that's it. They check the Paradise Theater, which would be familiar to her. There are signs of break-in, but Gwen isn't there. There are miles of Witch tunnels, dozens of dry mausoleums, and any number of abandoned houses where she could be holed up for the day. After not getting much sleep the night before, Sam, Drew, Tori, and Joshua return to St. Hubert's to take naps.

At 4:37 PM on Sunday, April 30th 1995 "Baby boy Sorensen" emerges into the world. The midwife declares it a good sign. Taurus, with Pisces rising on the horizon gives the boy great strength and a beautiful voice (Taurus the bull, strong in the throat chakra), and a deep spirit filled with insight (Pisces the fish, balancing yin and yang). The baby appears completely normal, with ten fingers and ten toes, the usual number of arms and legs, and nothing extra, like a tail or horns. He weighs 7 lbs. 6 oz., with a thick shock of black hair, and an Apgar right at the top of the charts. He cries strongly when the midwife clears his nostrils and thumps him on the back. The only thing strange is he won't open his eyes until the lights are dimmed. Then he reveals golden irises with vertical slit pupils, just like Erik drew in his poster of evil-fighting parents with baby in snuggly backpack. Erik passes around chocolate cigars and Joshua figures out how much money he won in the betting pool. There's some debate about what to name him, but when she holds her son for the first time, Juanita knows his name. Drake Madera-Sorensen has arrived.

Sunday night, Slayer Club arranges shifts to guard Juanita and the baby, with Michael going first. Joshua goes to Blaire's to eavesdrop and win at kitten poker. Sam, Drew, and Tori patrol, but Gwen doesn't show her face. Monday morning, Slayer Club survives their classes and then returns to the hospital. They double-check the Paradise Theater, the Martense Museum, and the library for good measure. Monday night, Erik decides to go shopping for Juanita and hopefully draw Gwen out of hiding. While Erik acts bait-y, Joshua and Michael follow covertly. Joshua is good at this. Michael, not so much. Sam, Drew, and Tori are ready to pounce the moment Gwen shows up. The first sign is when Gwen (wearing a Martense sweatshirt and jeans she took off of a victim) throws Jonathan through the window at the Sacred Grounds and darts down into the Witch Tunnels. No matter how many times Ada replaces that window and barricades the door, vampires find a way through. Sam tracks Gwen through the tunnels with Drew on the lookout for traps. The last time they were down here, they found an entire dungeon. This time, only darkness and cobwebs as Gwen gets farther and farther ahead.

Back at the hospital, Gwen emerges through a hidden door near the basement blood bank. She grabs a nurse, drains her, and takes her uniform. Pandora is getting a soda when she spots the redheaded nurse going into Juanita's room. Juanita recognizes Gwen and TK blasts her, knocking her backwards into Pandora. Gwen untangles herself, picks up Pandora, and throws her back into Juanita's room. Pandora lands next to her backpack, pulls out a bottle of holy water and throws it. Gwen smacks the bottle into the wall and stalks forward, radiating menace. Juanita scrambles between Gwen and her baby. Pandora calls up a spell to harden the air into a shield, slowing Gwen down. Juanita pulls out her crossbow. The vampire makes an end-run around the barrier. Pandora calls on spirits of fire—including Tori. Down in the Witch-tunnels, Tori feels the pull. Gwen bursts into flames, yet leaps toward the bassinet. The quarrel flies and Gwen disintegrates into sparks of fiery dust. Juanita brushes embers off the blankets and cuddles Drake fiercely. A few minutes later, the rest of Slayer Club, including Erik, reach the hospital and run up to the room. Juanita rages, "You left me alone to face her! I could have been killed! The baby could have been killed!" Pandora wisely stays silent. In the doorway stands Erik's grandfather the congressman.

Interlude: Sam Dreams
Written by Jodi Roosenraad.

5.20 Imagine...
Written and directed by Greg Pearson.
The events of this episode take place on Thursday, May 25 and Friday, May 26, 1995.
Sam dreams. There's only one Slayer left in front of her. Tough-girl Faith is gone. The serious dark-skinned girl standing at parade rest with her elaborate braids is gone. Kate's eyes are dewier than ever when she says, "It's time." The blonde girl, lonely but fierce, with her axe and red leather pants, fades away into nothingness. Kate also fades away, leaving Sam standing alone at the edge of an infinite void, only dead Slayers standing behind her.

It's the next-to-last day of finals. Sam's last exam is for "death and dying." Five short-answer questions and an essay: either pick two of the world cultures they've studied and compare/contrast them, or "How have your feelings and attitude about death changed over this semester?" Of course, Sam picks the second essay. Her feelings haven't changed. She's always known she was going to die, sooner rather than later. From the moment she was Called, she was determined to do her job the best she knew how, and enjoy every minute she possibly could. Carpe diem was her watch phrase then, and it still is. She spins her wedding ring on her finger and signs the bottom of the page with a flourish. For his optics class, Drew built a laser to beam a message from one laptop to another, across Martense campus. He spends most of the day setting up his equipment on the roof of the physics building. Tori goes over her notes for WWII history, not so much to study, as to remind herself which parts of the battles her professor doesn't know. Erik perfects his formula for "Essential Ice" for alchemy, but he wants to field test it before his final tomorrow. Joshua has his last final for statistics and probability in the afternoon. So, after dinner, Sam, Erik, and Joshua go patrolling.

Greenfields cemetery is dark under the sliver of a crescent moon. At the fence, they hear sounds of battle. Suddenly, a vampire falls out of the darkness, impaling itself on the fence, and goes to dust. The trio hops over the fence and find three vampires circling a red-furred she-wolf. Sam steps up and dusts one of the vamps, to make it more even. The werewolf grabs another and throws it into a conveniently protruding branch. Erik hits the third vamp over the head with his "Ice-6 2/3" which only freezes its head. So, Erik hits it again with a stronger formula "Ice-8 1/2" and that freezes the vampire solid. One tap of his hammer and it shatters. Sam looks around for Melina's clothes, but when the wolf transforms, she's already wearing a black and yellow spandex outfit. Erik's jaw drops. This isn't Melina, it's Rahne (Pronounced /rain/. Not /rah-nay/ as Erik thought, or /raan/ as Drew insisted in many a late-night debate) also known as Wolvesbane, from Marvel's New Mutants comic books. Sam, Joshua, and Erik introduce themselves and Rahne thanks them for the help. She thought she was in a town called Great Barrington, but there isn't any town of that name on Solomon's maps. To check their location, they take Rahne to the Sacred Grounds. On the way, there's a single flash of orange light and a crash of thunder.

At the Sacred Grounds, everything is as it should be. Rahne smirks at the name of Solomon's newspaper—the Sentinel. Erik wants to call and tell Drew, but he's setting up his equipment for tomorrow night, out of touch of a phone. Erik calls Tori, but Tori gets a phone call from Pandora first. St. Germain's was attacked. Tori grabs her weapons and rushes over. At the Sacred Grounds, Ada gives Sam the same news. Sam, Joshua, and Erik take Rahne with them to St. Germain's, where part of the upper floor of the dormitory wing is missing. One of the students was kidnapped. Another student says that her name was Julia, and the kidnappers flew away on a ship, like a sailboat, all except one guy who had jetpacks on his feet. And they were wearing bright purple uniforms. Rahne recognizes the Hellions, super-villains from her own world and her team's main rivals: Jetstream, the flier with cybernetic legs; Tarot, who makes tarot images into real objects; Empath, a handsome Castilian who reads minds and influences emotions; Cat's Eye, who transforms into various size purple felines, from a housecat to a panther; Roulette, who throws red or black disks that influence probability; and Thunderbird, a big, strong, tough combat monster. But where is the rest of Rahne's team: Karma, Cannonball, Psyche, and Sunspot? Is she supposed to face the Hellions alone? Not alone. Joshua climbs up the wall and borrows a picture of Julia and her hairbrush for a seeker spell. Julia is just north of Solomon right now. If they move, they can catch the kidnappers, but they need more vehicles. Pandora comes along.

Back at Martense, Erik introduces Rahne to Drew, who is thrilled, until he sees the amusement on Sam's face. Pandora casts her seeker, making an arrow that points in the direction of their quarry. Slayer Club takes two cars, with Rahne riding behind Joshua on his bike. They follow the trail of the flying sailboat, doubling back when the roads take them off-course, until the arrow spins. The boat is right above them. Sam pulls the Jeep over, and solemnly hands Drew the keys. Drew sweats while Sam prays to St. Francis of Assisi. A crow along the side of the road looks up from its wing and takes flight. With Sam watching through its eyes, the bird pierces the low cloud cover and sees the boat shaped like a swan. A painted figure of a woman holding two coins decorates the bow. One of Tarot's images. Sam and the crow fly closer, trying to eavesdrop on the figures standing on deck. Just before she touches down on a spar, a swarthy man with handsome features looks up and spots her. Sam shakes her head, back in her own body. Empath ejected her from the bird. The ship flies on, and Slayer club has a dilemma. Three of them have finals the next day, Tori's in the morning. So, they split up. Tori takes Erik and Pandora back to Solomon so they can get some sleep. Drew's final isn't until the evening, so Sam, Drew, Joshua, and Rahne continue. On the outskirts of a small town, the swan-ship circles, looking for something. Drew gasps. This must be the real-world location of the Massachusetts Academy, where the Hellfire Club trains! Sam writes a note for the Hellions and takes another bird to deliver it, keeping well clear of the boat, it drops the note onto the ship's deck. "Please come down. We only want to talk to you. Signed, Samantha Kessler, the Vampire Slayer." After several minutes, two of the Hellions land in the field: Jetstream carrying Empath on his back. Sam explains their theory that the Hellions and Rahne slipped into Solomon's world though a dimensional-portal and asks why the Hellions abducted Julia. They claim that the girl belongs with them. They were sent to get her. But her, or someone who attends the Xavier school, which looks a lot like St. Germain's? No, they were sent to get Julia, specifically. They might not hurt her, but they won't give her up. Sam implies that Slayer Club has a way to get the Hellions back to their own world, if they turn over Julia, but Empath doesn't believe her. They will keep the girl, and keep searching for their Academy, which isn't there. Suit themselves. If they change their minds, Slayer Club will be back in Solomon.

Tori's final exam in WWII history she could do in her sleep, and nearly has to. Erik's alchemical brew gels and crystallizes into his "Ice-6 2/3" rather than the stronger "Ice-8 1/2" because he forgot which one of the vials he used last night, but it still works. Drew continues tinkering with his electronics, getting the mirrors set up for his demonstration. After Erik's final, he, Pandora, and Sam go back to Greenfields to see if they can find any traces of a dimensional portal, or if any of the other New Mutants showed up. Joshua chats up Rahne and uses Pandora's arrow to triangulate Julia's location. The swan-boat seems to be a few miles north of town, along the banks of the Green River. At the cemetery, Sam and Erik don't find a dimensional portal, but they do find three Solomon High students. One boy, Bryan, has blonde, curly hair; the other, Jace, has long, dark shaggy hair; and the girl, Alex has blue, punky spikes and a leather varsity swimming jacket. After some back-and-forth between Erik and the boys, with Sam and the Alex shaking their heads in sympathique, the story comes out. Jace had seen Julia at the town Spring Fling and, having somehow heard about St. Germain's real curriculum, wanted to impress her with a really cool spell. He and Bryan found a book in the college library to cast illusions that you control like puppets. They thought they'd have the New Mutants and Hellions fight an illusionary battle outside Julia's window. That would have been so cool, but something went wrong. They couldn't control the illusion. The New Mutants didn't show up, and the Hellions shot up the place and kidnapped Julia instead. So, the Hellions and Rahne aren't dimensional travelers, they're illusions made real like the white dragon that Slayer Club fought in "Dungeon Crawl." Erik takes Jace's backpack and copy of the spell. In the Martense library they find the original book, and compare. Erik groans. The kids didn't even notice the marks that represent glottal clicking sounds. Without those, it completely changes the meaning! So, like the white dragon, the Hellions gained solidity and independent will. And Bryan, who was in charge of the New Mutants, sent his spell way off course and cut its power by one-sixth. So, instead of the whole team, only Rahne appeared at the cemetery, where Jace and Bryan practiced reciting the spell before they did it "for real" at St. Germain's. (They recruited Alex this morning to try to help them clean up the mess since, as Bryan puts it, "she's the most bad-ass person we know," being runner-up as state swimming champion and all.) Now they know what happened. Sam finds another spell to dispel the illusions. They have to go get Julia back now, before the Hellions decide to do something unfortunate to her. Drew desperately wants to see this fight—he's waited his whole life to fight costumed super villains and the New Mutants and Hellions are his absolute favorites—but he can't miss his laser demonstration. So, Slayer Club suits up and heads out. Pandora rides in Drew's seat, while Bryan, Jace, and Alex squeeze into the back of Sam's Jeep. Bryan doesn't seem to mind having Alex almost in his lap. Tori has Erik with her, and Joshua and Rahne ride together again. Rahne really likes this motorcycle experience, and Joshua isn't bad, either, although he is a bit... forward. In spite of her wolfish form, Rahne is actually pretty shy.

Beside the Green river rises a tower with crenellations, a single door, and arrow-slits spiraling around the sides. Two tiny figures can be seen walking the parapet: Jetstream and Roulette. Joshua unlimbers his high-powered rifle, but Rahne makes him promise that he won't kill them. The Hellions do lots of collateral damage; especially Jetstream and Thunderbird, but they've never killed anyone. That's not their way. Joshua reluctantly promises. Sam and Erik approach the tower, while Pandora begins setting up the spell components. Empath ushers them inside. Careful with her words, Sam states that they have a spell that will un-do the spell that brought the Hellions and Rahne to Solomon. If they let Julia go, the Hellions will go 'right back where they came from' and no harm done. Empath can tell that she's telling the exact truth, but there's more to it. Tarot wants to see the spell. Sam shares her copy. While Tarot examines the paper, Pandora begins her chant. Even though it's written in a language she doesn't know, Tarot is master of images and illusions. She figures out the spell is for dispelling illusions, which would render her powers impotent.

The Hellions attack. Catseye transforms into a purple panther. Thunderbird punches Sam right through the fourth-story window, where she falls into a convenient shrub before running back into the tower. Pandora keeps chanting. Joshua aims at Jetstream and shoots out one of his cybernetic implants, which sends him into a spiral ending in a hard face-plant into the ground. Jetstream fades into purple sparks. Inside the tower, Tarot summons an armored warrior (the King of Swords) mounted on a Pegasus. Erik punches Tarot hard enough to knock her out, before remembering that the tower he is standing in is also one of her illusions. The knight, Pegasus, and tower all vanish. Sam, running up the spiral stairs, steps on thin air. Julia is falling right above her. Sam catches her and cushions Julia's fall, then carries her back to the Jeep. Empath sends out a broad-range burst of apathy. He seriously underestimates Slayer Club's mental strength, but the four teen-agers slump in the back of Sam's Jeep. Tori is outraged. Steam literally comes out of her ears, but her firestarter won't light. So she clocks Empath upside the head with the flat of her sword. Rahne transforms, but is also caught in Empath's web. Catseye leaps at Rahne and they tumble in a lackluster fight, the larger wolf not really caring, while the smaller cat scratches and spits. Joshua skeet-shoots Roulette's disks out of the air while Sam and Thunderbird face off. Biff! Pow! Bam! They slug and bounce off each other, but in the end, Sam cleaves Thunderbird in two with her axe. Purple sparks. Catseye and Rahne finish each other off in a burst of purple, and black and yellow sparks. Joshua figures his promise to not kill is no longer in force. He pegs Roulette between the eyes, and then puts a bullet through Empath's brain as well. As soon as the last Hellion vanishes, Pandora finishes her spell, and looks up to see them all gone. It worked! No one bursts her bubble of triumph. Sam drives the teenagers back to their schools. Alex and Brian hold hands. Supremely unimpressed, Julia slaps Jace for messing with forces he didn't understand. Jace looks chastised, but not daunted. He can practice, maybe start smaller, like floating a pencil, and then she'll see! Erik goes home to Juanita and has a sweet family moment with her and the baby. Joshua and Tori go to the end-of-school party, where Joshua chats up a pretty redhead, who slaps him. Tori dances with Magnus. The rest of St. Hubert's dorm is there, celebrating the end of the school year. Sam goes to pick up Drew at their dorm, but Drew isn't there. His sword is lying in the middle of the floor, impaled on a piece of paper. Sam reads:

Slayer,
We have your husband. He is unharmed. (We're afraid he'll have a headache when he wakes up. Sorry about that.) Come to Solomon Heights, alone, now. He will be freed and neither of you will be harmed. If you bring anyone with you, or tell anyone, your next date with Drew, you'll take him out for a stake. We are watching you. Peace.

Sam makes up her mind. She straps on Drew's rapier and gets the bulletproof vest out of her closet. Her Jeep idling on Main Street, she shoves the note under the door of the Sacred Grounds and drives up to Solomon Heights. The chain is down, and there are three cars in the parking lot: an orange VW microbus, a classic Beetle, and a Pacer. A girl with long, blonde hair and a fringed jacket over a long, filmy dress waves Sam into a parking spot, and speaks into a walkie-talkie. The girl asks permission to check the Jeep, which Sam lets her. All she wants to know, is where is Drew? The girl explains that there are other vampires in the woods. They all have walkie-talkies. Sam could kill all of them, but not fast enough. If any of them give the alarm, or fail to check in with their code at the right time, Drew is dead. Keep to the path, and don't out-run her observers, because that would be bad. Sam runs, not at full speed. Drew is right where they said he'd be. Lying on his back, face pale, hands at his sides. Karaoke vamp steps out of the trees and invites her to check Drew's condition, which she does, keeping one eye on the tree line. Drew's heartbeat and breathing are soft, but regular, and there are no marks on him, bite or otherwise. Karaoke vamp promises Drew is free to go, as soon as he wakes up, but Sam's coming with them. Sam has other ideas. She corrects Karaoke vamp's description of her relationship with the vampires. He says "enemies." She knows they are predator and prey. Nothing personal, but as soon as they show themselves, she'll take them all out. But she doesn't get that chance. Soft pfft sounds from all sides; Sam twists, deflecting several drugged darts with her axe, but one scratches her face, another clips her hand. A third one hits right in the small of her back, below the vest. Sam sinks to her knees and collapses across Drew's body.

Sam wakes slowly, swimming up from the drugged stupor. She's stretched over a hard surface, her wrists and ankles shackled with thick iron bands. The walls and ceiling are of a strangely cheerful 70s rec room, with wood paneling like something out of The Brady Bunch. The Brady Bunch with vampires. Lots of vampires. Sam wriggles, but she's shackled good and solid. "So, what, you're going to kill me now?" Karaoke vamp smiles. "Oh, no, Ms. Kessler. You've misunderstood us. We're not going to kill you. We never planned that." He takes out the Amulet of Neperkin, powerful for time-manipulation spells. Sam focuses on the green crystal, and frowns, as he smiles, "What we're going to do is make you immortal."

Imagine—Extended Ending

5.21 ...There's No Slayer...
Written by Greg Pearson, directed by Jodi Roosenraad.
The events of this episode take place on Saturday, May 27, 1995.
Drew Killian wakes up on Solomon Heights with three vampires squabbling over him. One wants to kill him. Another, a female, prevents it. That wasn't in their orders. The third one just seems stoned. When Drew's eyes open, they retreat across the clearing. Drew gets to his feet and charges at them. The belligerent one counter-charges, right into Drew's sword. Drew decapitates the vampire and questions the other two. They only know what they were told: keep the Slayer's husband safe, and when he wakes up, return to town to await more instructions. They don't know where Winston took Sam. They leave Drew with his sword, Sam's axe, and her Jeep down in the parking lot. As he jogs down the path, Drew hears muffled laughter. Sam's laughter, coming from the ring on his right hand, the one that Michael gave him as a wedding present. Sam has an identical ring, imbued with some of Michael's knowledge of the ages. Somehow, Drew can hear Sam's voice through the ring. She seems to be taunting someone, Drew assumes her captors, playing for time. Drew has keys, but it takes some adjustments of the seat and mirrors before he's marginally comfortable in Sam's vehicle.

At Mr. Madera's house, Erik and Juanita feed and diaper Drake and have a nice family moment. Erik spots a vampire lurking behind the outdoor trash cans. Because the baby is asleep, Erik takes a sword instead of his hammer to "stomp on the pest," but the vampire tasers him before Erik can get close. The jolt knocks him off his feet. Rather than following up with a bite, the vampire scuttles away. Erik sees two more with binoculars, likewise keeping their distance. They fade into the shadows and Erik slouches home, getting drenched by the neighbors' sprinklers.

Professor Michael Saiyer is correcting exams in his new office overlooking the administration quad, when he sees movement in the shadows between the lampposts. Groups of students walk from party to party, but this group is different, moving with deliberation, like wolves among the sheep. Michael leaves the admin building. One of the football players steps into a clump of bushes. Three vampires in game-face spread out to trap him. Michael draws his falchion from his dimension-pocket and decapitates the first vampire. "Run!" the football player zips up and runs. Michael deals with the other two vamps, but they're not the only ones. The rumor flies: "The Slayer's gone! Party time!" Michael seeks out the rest of Slayer Club.

At the year-end party, Tori dances with Magnus. Joshua chats up a redheaded girl in a green dress, until she slaps him. Apparently, he's already slept with her and forgotten about it. So, he dances by himself, dangling from the chandelier and crossbeams of the ceiling. To all appearances, Joshua is as high as a kite, but hasn't had anything more intoxicating than fruit punch all night. On the other side of the room, Marcy and Callie are getting drunk from a bottle they brought with them. Xiu Me Chen and Mari Jergen help themselves to roast beef sandwiches at the carving table. Mari feeds slivers of meat to one of her stirges, perched on her shoulder. Other "special" students eat, dance. and mingle, all fun and games, until Aimee and some of her goons show up,. And then it gets really fun! Joshua holds some of them at the doorway with feats of acrobatics. Tori gives a warning when the windows shatter and more vampires swarm in. Magnus smashes chairs to make stakes while Xiu Me grabs the carving table's knife. Mari sics her pets on the vampires. "See how they like being sucked on." Marcy goes sploosh on the party floor. (Eeew!) Callie grows to Norse goddess stature. Laurel, the green-clad plant mage, grows bark all over her skin, while Brandon, a fire-mage in training, sets his hands aflame, immolating a vampire, and then douses them in the (non-alcoholic) punch bowl. When it becomes obvious that this party is not in her favor, Aimee flees the scene. Michael arrives and Drew drives up, with bandoliers of Russian hand grenades, his sword and crossbow, and a surface-to-air missile. Sam is missing. The hippie vampires have her.

Drew and the others make plans. They have to find Sam, fast, but she could be anywhere in town. The faint voice from Drew's ring has subsided to a static hiss. They collect Erik at Juanita's father's house, Ada at the Sacred Grounds, and Pandora at St. Germain's. Michael calls Dr. Gersham to set his golems on Sam's trail. Pandora gets help from the combat reference librarians at St. Germain's to tap into the ley line grid that covers Solomon. For communication, she gives Michael a feather token, which he takes with a bow and pins to his collar, just as he pinned ladies' tokens to his armor in times past. Drew isn't pleased with the overtones there. Pandora is practically his sister! But there's no time to squabble. With Pandora's directions, Slayer club follows the vampires' trail deep into suburbia, to a foreclosed split-level house with boarded up windows and overgrown gardens front and back. Tori feels a combative presence approaching from the east. At the same time they reach the house, three helicopters fly overhead. Two are matte black with W&H subtly stenciled in black on the sides. The third one is white, with a red cross on its tail. The '70s house's yard is too overgrown, so they land in the neighbor's yard.

Joshua jumps his bike through the boarded-up living room windows, leaping off at the last minute. All the C-4 he had packed in his saddlebags blows, opening a large hole in the wall. Drew pulls the Jeep right up to the hole and throws a couple of grenades inside, just to be sure. Joshua runs next door to shoot at the helicopters. He hits the hospital copter's engine, and it wobbles, plows into the earth, and explodes. The other two land and disgorge teams of black ops soldiers, but they are no match for Erik's hammer, Michael's falchion, and Joshua's guns. The pilots run off and Joshua takes the keys and the ignition cables from the black helicopters, so they can't go anywhere. Slayer Club enters the '70s house, fighting from room to room. The explosions and Erik's hammer make rubble of the front room and dining room. Searching upstairs, Joshua opens a cabinet, releasing a cloud of intense ganja smoke that makes him very happy and relaxed for a while. In the kitchen, they find the door to the basement. Drew throws another grenade, demolishing the stairs. Erik goes first to test the drop, and then the others climb down a rope. Tori is appalled at the décor, and swears to come back and commit "urban renewal" on this house once they find Sam and take care of the vampires. They find the mural room where Winston's commune slept, and the words "Imagine there's no Slayer" splashed on the wall in blood. With controlled rage, Michael lets his hands revert to his natural form and sandblasts the words away. Drew finds the table where Sam was bound. It's empty, but still warm from her body. He gets a vision of how the vampires ensnared her with the time spell, called their contact at Wolfram & Hart (Tori's father!) to a team to collect the "package" that was finally ready for long-term storage, and then wrapped her up in the velvet drape and took her through a hidden door into the witch tunnels. Drew finally understands—the vampires have put Sam into suspended animation, and Wolfram & Hart are going to lock her in a vault where she'll remain for centuries, trapped, unable to fight the forces of darkness, but still alive, preventing her successor from being Called. They have to be stopped, even if it means letting Sam die. But, if they're fast enough, it won't have to come to that. Erik blasts the door open and the chase is on.

Drew's psychometry leads him left at a fork, and they catch up to a small group of vampires carrying a body wrapped in velvet, but it's another vampire, not Sam. A diversion. Erik throws his hammer, collapsing the tunnel and burying the vampires. For the first time, his hammer flies back to him as intended, avoiding being buried with the vamps. Slayer Club backtracks and goes to the right. Winston stays one step ahead, leading them up from the tunnels into St. Catherine's church, and an ambush. Father Leoni helps with holy water and the keys to both his Buick and the church van to follow the vampires through Solomon's streets. Again, the vampires split up. Winston and his lieutenant Byron go off in one direction, while the two vampires whom Drew saw up on Solomon Heights drive out of town toward the airport. Slayer Club also splits up. Joshua follows Winston on a motorcycle he "borrowed" from in front of a biker bar, while Drew drives the Buick with Michael in the passenger seat, and Erik and Tori take the van. Joshua catches up to Winston and Byron, and dusts the vampire lieutenant, but Winston gets away through the tunnels, dropping his peace symbol medallion behind.

At the airport, the female vampire and her stoned companion are just loading Sam onto a small airplane, when Drew and Erik both ram the Cessna with their vehicles, preventing take-off. Michael jumps out and dusts the two vamps. Drew unwraps Sam's body and tries to rouse her Prince Charming style, with a kiss, but this isn't a fairy tale, and it doesn't work. Erik notices that the shackles on her wrists and ankles have bits of metal attached: A silvery claw, a tiny pewter hand, a bit of copper cut jagged like a flame, and a shapeless blob. Pieces of Sam's artwork, a claw from her dragon, the hand from her high school final art project "Danse Macabre," copper from the Sacred Heart she made this year, and a blob of metal prized from inside their forge, he thinks a piece of her axe. Michael describes the pieces to Pandora through his comm-feather, and she suggests that touching the finished art to each part taken from it might remove the shackle. So, they gather the artwork from the high school, Martense Art Studio, and the Sacred Grounds and take Sam's unconscious body back to St. Catherine's, where she's most at home. As the last of the shackles fall off, a grey shape flies into the sanctuary and lands on Sam's lap. It's Dr. G's golem, a grey parrot with a bit of flannel and tie-dyed T-shirt in its claws. The golem goes inert, and Sam's eyes flutter open. Drew kisses her again, and this time she kisses him back.

5.22 ...It's Easy If You Try
Written by Greg Pearson, directed by Jodi Roosenraad.
The events of this episode take place on Saturday, May 27 and Sunday, May 28, 1995.
"Let's go get those suckers." Sam is awake and raring to go, but it's three AM and the rest of Slayer Club is exhausted, except for Michael, who doesn't need to sleep. Sam thanks everyone profusely for rescuing her, and promises Father Leoni that she will fix all the damage to the church and the vehicles that he loaned them. Sam has an idea for Pandora: to use up some of the magic from the ley-lines she's buzzing with, maybe she could set up a magical roadblock to keep any vampires from leaving town. That's a tall order, but Pandora and her St. Germain's advisers get busy on it. Sam, Drew, and Michael get her Jeep from in front of the '70s house and go road patrolling. They stop at Blaire's to give her a warning head start on the roadblock. The rest of Slayer Club returns to St. Hubert's for some rest.

The two surviving W&H helicopters are gone. Drew figures the pilots came back and fixed the damage that Joshua did before taking off again. W&H will want to distance themselves from this fiasco. Circling Solomon, there's no sign of vampire activity at all, but Sam spots a black SUV with tinted windows coming into town. She follows at a distance, admiring the driver's skill, as they play cat-and-mouse. It pulls up in front of the '70s house with the downed helicopter in the neighbor's yard—not vampires or evil lawyers; just the NTSB. Michael offers to go closer and disguises himself as an early-morning jogger. By playing dumb and asking innocuous questions, he gets the "official story"—a midair collision caused the copter to crash, destroying the aircraft and heavily damaging the house. Drew's energy is flagging, so Sam drops Michael off at his apartment, and she and Drew return to Martense. Michael does some online research into this Winston, the Karaoke Vampire, and the '70s house where he and his group stayed. He finds a rather shaky Last Will and Testament of an Edna Murphy, who died last year and left her house to her "nephew," Winston. Looking farther back, Michael finds Winston's Ph.D. thesis from UCLA on the Communist movement in America. It's awful, and it quickly becomes obvious that Winston only became a hippie for the drugs and picking up hippie girls. Just for fun, Michael prints out the document and corrects it for grammar, syntax, and gaps in logic.

Everyone sleeps in the next day. Joshua wants to head to Boston and take the fight to the nearest Wolfram & Hart office, showing them that they can't mess with the Slayer. But the rest of Slayer Club convinces him that it would be suicide, and that they should concentrate on cleaning out the rest of the vampires. Joshua gives Sam the peace medallion that Winston dropped. A quick seeker spell pinpoints the vampire up on Solomon Heights, about a mile from the clearing where Sam was taken. He's probably hiding out in a cave on the other side of the ranger station. Late in the afternoon, Slayer Club arms up and goes hunting. Taking a fire road, they get as close to the spot as possible, and then spread out to search for cave openings. They find the closest one, flip on their flashlights and miner's helmets, and plunge into the dark. A series of caves houses the last remnants of Winston's commune. Battling vampires in the dark. Sam and Drew each get a shot at Winston, but he runs away before they can dust him. Joshua sprints after the escaping cult leader and catches up to him in the last cavern that opens to the surface. Outside, the sun is just setting. As soon as it does, Winston will make a break for it. Joshua doesn't give him that chance. He lines up and shoots him. Winston staggers and falls, impaling himself on a stalagmite. Just as Sam runs into the cavern, Winston goes to dust. "Rats! I had a speech ready and everything." Joshua apologizes; he was trying to save Winston for her. But it doesn't matter who killed him, as long as he's dead. Sam asks Michael for a jar with a lid so she can collect Winston's dust before it sifts away. They call Tori's father at the Orchards and arrange a meeting with him. Sam turns over the jar of dust with a veiled warning for Wolfram & Hart to stay out of Solomon. That night, Sam has her last dream of the Slayer line. Kate is smiling. "I knew you could do it!" The future Slayers are all back. With Winston's immortality spell foiled, Sam will die, allowing them to be called... just not yet. The line stretches farther into the future than Sam can see, perhaps even unending.