Describing a conversation between Graham and Tori.
Jeff: It's like two monologues passing in the night.
Graham: So, Tori, after you get home and take a shower, want to go someplace else and impress me?
A drunken Graham notices that Britta doesn't cast a reflection.
Graham: Hey, look, its Babe-a Lugosi!
Hartsdale is looking for Erik and Drew.
Moira: If you want to, come to the store. You know they'll be there.
Kevin tries to explain that Russell has been possessed by an animate ball of light.
Kevin: I don't think I can explain this well right now, but there will be someone coming by later to take the St. Elmo's fire out of him.
Kevin and Anne have come up with the brilliant plan of trying to get the unconscious Russell across town on the bus.
Erik: What is this, Weekend at Russell's?
Drew: Oh, this sort of demon we can handle.
Kevin tries to enlist Hartsdale's aid in banishing the demon.
Kevin: Since you're not doing anything, I just need to borrow your body for a few minutes.
Anne: Do you ever shut up, Tori?
Drew sneaks up behind a vampire with a defibrillator.
Drew: Clear!
Moira has been sleepwalking.
Hartsdale: I can stay with you until this passes.
Erik: Do you think Sam will ask you to the Sadie Hawkins dance?
Drew: In case you didn't get a program; her: Slayer. Chosen by destiny. Me: Nerd. Chosen last for kickball.
Jonathan describes his history assignment.
Jonathan: You know, I've got Ireland.
Joshua: You can get a salve for that.
Mr. Clark: I want to take an interest in what you're doing, Tori.
Graham: Sir, you might want to take a shower afterwards.
Out of character quote #1.
Jim: Finn's Vampires, like Charlie's Angels!
Out of character quote #2.
Greg: First rule of Slayer Club is nobody talks about Slayer Club.
Out of character quote #3.
Jeff: Jim, could you please stop fondling Cthuhlu?
Finn Mac Cumhail is more than just a guy stranded 2300 years from his own time.
Joshua: This isn't a paradox, it's a boy toy!
Hartsdale: Tori's being the voice of reason. You should all be afraid.
Joshua: I have chickens to burn.
Erik: Kevin, why are you holding women's underwear?
Erik: Kevin, can we use your underwear again?
Drew has been mind controlled into quoting Shakespeare...badly.
Drew: Beware the Ides of March. Or not to beware the Ides of March. That is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to bear the slings and arrows of outraged Carthaginians or to take arms against...
Joshua throws a glass of water in his face.
Drew: Et tu, Joshua?
Anne: You would not believe the evening I've had.
Hartsdale: You'd be surprised.
Joshua has figured out how to break the charm.
Joshua: Slapping them upside the head works. Where's Juanita?
Vivid Combat Descriptions R Us.
GM: You hear this meaty sort of slumping noise.
The villain addresses his minions over the PA system at LazerLand.
Brewmaster: Boys, I think it's time to go home now... Slayer, this isn't over! (Crackle! Cough! Ahem!) Is this thing still on?
Drew: It's only fun until someone loses a limb. Then it's wicked cool!
Moira: I throw a packet of salt at the guy.
GM: He ducks out of the way and you just hit Kevin in the face.
Kevin: I've been...
Joshua: As-salt-ed!
Hartsdale details his marketing strategy for the Sacred Grounds.
Hartsdale: If it comes to it, we can pay the bums to linger menacingly at the entrance.
Joshua: Tori keeps an emergency box of shoes here. She doesn't even know what style they are until she opens the box. They're Schroedinger's Shoes.
Professor Astin draws his pistol.
Drew: Watch it, those things are dangerous. (waves his crossbow at Astin)
Tori: You're a time traveler, what do you care about tenses?
Moira has had a vision of Erik as a zombie.
Moira: I had a freaky vision.
Hartsdale: What sort of vision?
Moira: Well, don't tell Erik...
They may be great at staking vamps, but the rest of Slayer Club can't even lie convincingly to Tori.
Tori: Why are you going to Vermont?
Drew: We want to get some maple syrup.
Kevin: Erik and I are teaching Drew to ski.
Erik: You've got a fake I.D., right, Tori? So you can go get us a room.
Drew: Two rooms.
Erik: (Disapointed) Two?
Drew: Hello? Do I look like I have a death wish? My girlfriend's the Slayer. I'm not sharing a hotel room with another girl.
Drew: If I'd known the ritual required virgins, I would have had a talk with Sam earlier.
Hartsdale: It's a Very Special Episode of Slaying Solomon.
Earlier in the evening, Drew had narrowly escaped capture by the vampire cultists before he and the others disrupted their ritual (but not, unfortunately, the other ritual that led to the deaths of most of the townspeople).
Hartsdale: If it makes you feel any better, at least you saved thirteen virgins.
Kevin: Twelve virgins. (Drew elbows him in the ribs) Ow!
Drew: Chronicle of Thrang? Sounds Klingon.
Joshua: Should we continue to discuss semantics or should we research the Chronicle of Thrang?
The dating a superhero version of "does this dress make me look fat?"
Drew: A doppelganger? Ew, those are like your level, too.
Sam: And what level would I be?
And they say D&D doesn't teach you useful life skills.
Erik: Go for the spell caster!
Joshua sneaks into the kitchen only to find a zombie coming at him with a skillet.
Drew: Out of the blood rain, into the frying pan.
The spell casters take up a formation with the Combat Reference Librarian at the center.
Kevin: They're protecting their granny, be nice.
GM: In order to shoot, you have to expose yourself.
Shoeman: We just want to ask your friends a few questions.
Drew: Are we talking chit-chat, magic spells, or thumb screws?
GM: Sam has two on her and she's getting Rodney Kinged.
Drew has been knocked unconscious and there's a rat crawling on him.
Joshua: If you just stopped drooling, the rat would go away.
Monsoon has just blasted Joshua with one of her water jets.
Joshua: This jacket is going to be ruined.
Drew: Yeah, you got hosed.
Vivian bites Drew, not realizing that he's been the recipient of an invulnerability spell.
Drew: Is this good for you? 'Cause, I gotta say, it's not doing much for me.
GM: Is Tori deep enough to have goals?
Vivian is still a little annoyed about Drew having had that invulnerability spell.
Vivian: Tastes great, less filling?
Slayer Club has found itself inside of a giant sleeping demon.
Joshua: Onward, to the heart of darkness?
Drew: I'm thinking this is more like the colon of darkness.
The "walls" of the demon's innards pulse when you lean up against them.
Sam: It's like magic fingers.